I think listing can be really useful, if not only for future reference! I think people value one dimensional answers too much, it's okay to not have the full picture and I am glad to hear that you allow yourself space for the unknown, sometimes only time can reveal more. Thank you for writing about your experience!
To me this is very clear and honestly beautiful. So many nonhumans have such a ridged view on how being nonhuman should look "you were born x and you will always be x, your identity can't change and if it does you were wrong" is something I heard so many times when I joined the community back in 2015-ish, and made it very hard for me to figure myself out from there. I thought I couldn't be wrong, that there was simply one answer and I only had a limited amount of guesses I could do. I love your stance on being ever-changing, evolving and accepting that change. Thank you for sharing Gill!
Although I completely understand the yearning to be "normal", easier to be understood, I think it's really amazing that you were able to find out your true self in such a way. And perhaps because your experience goes "beyond" or at least seems to encompass some different aspects of different species (big feline, cryptid, possibly others) you can connect with a wider audience of nonhumans. For example; I can't really relate to being a feline so if you were a big cat I wouldn't find much in common but with he cryptid part I however am able to relate on. I also think that your method of finding out your true self/form is something a lot of other nonhumans should try. I have seen so many people struggle with trying to find their species, and would always be a mix of species that never felt completely right but perhaps they too are an unique species like you. Thank you for sharing!
I like that analogy! A feeling I know all too well, to ask my mother to stay home sick but the fear of not being believed. I can see how it applies here. And yeah I did enjoy it, it was an experience that really changed my perspective on life and death and I wouldn't have wanted to miss the opportunity. I chose to pursue a biology study instead though. As I was being sent out on body retrievals that I found too uncomfortable to witness, and I didn't want to risk my mental health if I still had a lot of other options that bring me more joy.
I am glad that your experience of opening up here has been so positive! It's a feeling that is hard to describe; to open up and be seen and accepted, maybe even understood. As someone who has worked in a morgue & funeral center, I can maybe reassure you that you don't need visible injuries to be valid in your identity of being dead or undead. I have seen corpses that looked like they were alive, simply sleeping yet were not any less dead. Not everything can be seen from the outside, you don't have to feel like a fraud. Although of course I do sympathize with your feelings and don't think they aren't valid or can feel debilitating. Accepting yourself as you are is easier said than done.
I am so glad to hear that! (‾◡◝) It is really cool to meet you, especially because I have seen (the possible) you in Hellraiser before and I am familiar with Twisted Wonderland. I would say I might have similar experiences to you! I have past lives and some that are shown in media, like you mention. Some notable ones are my lives as Alucard (shown in Hellsing) and Boothill (shown in Honkai: star rail). I look forward to your posts and if you have any questions or want to interact then you can always ask!
Me and my partner met online through her finding my nonhuman instagram page, and now we live together. I think that bonds like that are very possible and I am hoping that you will find someone you can meet up with! Maybe you could look around for some local communities? I don't know where you are but there are some discord servers dedicated to just local meetups.
Howdy and welcome, Rook! I am glad you decided to join here and make a post. There’s no need for shame, especially not at a place like here. I’m curious to what your past lives are, when you’re comfortable enough to share.
That is really interesting! When I first came to understand my horse identity I felt sure that I didn't have a past life as one but rather that I was born in the wrong body. I thought "on the moment this human body was born, there was also a foal born that was supposed to be my body". I used to call it soul-misplacement. I don't think it's necessarily have to be tied to past lives to still feel like you were a Xenomorph from the start. Again, I am not trying to explain your identity to yourself, you are the only one who knows what you are experiencing, I am just theorizing the options (´◡`).
Howdy Dreki! I saw you in Eurokin when I joined and I read your carrd website, especially your draconity page. It was a pleasure to read, thank you for putting your experiences down in such detail, it's so interesting. I look forward to your future posts.
I also have to live this life with chronic illness so I really resonate with your experience! For me it mostly amplified my feeling of dislike for the human experience. As a teen I would feel suck on the feeling that it was unfair that I not only had to be in a human but also be in a body that would not work.
When it comes to understanding my own nonhuman feelings I sometimes have a thought loop of "the chicken or the egg". "Did I start to feel alienated because I am a horse in a human body or do I feel like a horse in a human body because I am alienated?" From my understanding you experience your Xenomorph identity as a result of your experiences in life, but do you ever wonder if you had those experiences because you were a Xenomorph from the start? I know you mentioned your identity being a mix of psychological origin and what I am getting at is widely considered as spiritual, so I am not trying to misunderstand or sway you but I am just interested in your view, if you want to share it!
I am happy to share it with someone who appreciates it (❁´◡`❁). I actually didn't think of how swimming could remind someone of flying but that makes a lot of sense, wow! I appreciate the insight.
Thank you, it’s nice to meet you too! And yes absolutely, I have a lot of memories from my past lives that bring me joy, thank you for asking. I’ll share one specifically from my life as a dolphin since you mention that one. One of my fondest memories is swimming by my mother’s side close to the surface of the water. I remember then trailing behind her and her tail fluke caught some air from above the water, dragging it down would create bubbles going back up which would feel really nice on my face and belly.🐬
I hold this memory very close to my heart and I’m reminded by it whenever I go swimming and feel bubbles on my skin.
This is a great post, thank you so much for going so deeply into detail of your experiences! It’s amazing to read and learn about.
For me, my nonhuman feelings is something I believe to have been born with. An identity that’s stuck with me through reincarnation and for the most part has caused me more difficulty to cope because I’m often seen as weird. Ive always felt like I spoke a different language to humans. People can usually tell that there’s something different about me. It was especially prevalent as a kid because I didn’t care too much yet and I remember vividly that I had to learn how to be human and don’t default back to my horse/skeksis/dog behaviors. I’ve worked hard to create a mask for humans to see and interact with.
However, for your question; dropping the mask and expressing my true self always feels comforting. I am happy with my identity even if it makes some things more difficult for me. I find it hard to find people that understand me but when I do it’s always more genuine and the friendship is deeper. Being nonhuman gives me purpose, I often have human friends tell me that they don’t know who they are or don’t have interests but I’m happy that my nonhumanity has always been the center of my interest and purpose.
Another way I incorporate my identity for comfort or coping is that I kind of force myself to feel more dog, skeksis or horse depending on what I need to do at that moment. My default is always horse but when I need to sleep and lay down on a bed, I always try to force my dog mindset so I can lay down and rest without the discomfort I would feel from that as a horse. Same goes for foods, I rarely ever eat meat but when I’m socially pressured to or the rare instances I’m okay with it I will again put myself in a dog mindset so I can enjoy it.
Even though my identity is not something I chose and it’s caused me a lot of hardship, it’s also brought me a lot of happiness and unique experiences. It’s incorporated in every aspect of my life. I think everyone should try to find things that comfort the nonhuman part of us, it’ll make life feel a little lighter!
Thank you for the welcome, it’s nice to meet you too. I’ve got a grumpy old man called Onnoval and two sisters called Phoebe and Vivian! Do you have any animal companions? ^^
One of my earliest memories was in kindergarten when I would hoard all the horse toys because “they’re my family” and I would look at them and realize that I was supposed to have a body like that. When I was old enough to communicate through words I would beg my parents to be around horses, even though my family was terrified of them. Then when I was old enough to spend my free time on my own, I would spend it all around the stables and horses, my own kind. These are some key moments but my whole days are filled with moments where I realize that I communicate in a horse-way, I would have constant dreams and memories. There really isn’t a way for me to go around it. And I knew it my whole life.
For other parts of my identity, it was either similar but less intense.
Howdy and welcome, Xeep! I really like your name. I look forward to your posts and learning more about your alien identity.
I think listing can be really useful, if not only for future reference! I think people value one dimensional answers too much, it's okay to not have the full picture and I am glad to hear that you allow yourself space for the unknown, sometimes only time can reveal more. Thank you for writing about your experience!
To me this is very clear and honestly beautiful. So many nonhumans have such a ridged view on how being nonhuman should look "you were born x and you will always be x, your identity can't change and if it does you were wrong" is something I heard so many times when I joined the community back in 2015-ish, and made it very hard for me to figure myself out from there. I thought I couldn't be wrong, that there was simply one answer and I only had a limited amount of guesses I could do. I love your stance on being ever-changing, evolving and accepting that change. Thank you for sharing Gill!
Although I completely understand the yearning to be "normal", easier to be understood, I think it's really amazing that you were able to find out your true self in such a way. And perhaps because your experience goes "beyond" or at least seems to encompass some different aspects of different species (big feline, cryptid, possibly others) you can connect with a wider audience of nonhumans. For example; I can't really relate to being a feline so if you were a big cat I wouldn't find much in common but with he cryptid part I however am able to relate on.
I also think that your method of finding out your true self/form is something a lot of other nonhumans should try. I have seen so many people struggle with trying to find their species, and would always be a mix of species that never felt completely right but perhaps they too are an unique species like you. Thank you for sharing!
I like that analogy! A feeling I know all too well, to ask my mother to stay home sick but the fear of not being believed. I can see how it applies here.
And yeah I did enjoy it, it was an experience that really changed my perspective on life and death and I wouldn't have wanted to miss the opportunity. I chose to pursue a biology study instead though. As I was being sent out on body retrievals that I found too uncomfortable to witness, and I didn't want to risk my mental health if I still had a lot of other options that bring me more joy.
I am glad that your experience of opening up here has been so positive! It's a feeling that is hard to describe; to open up and be seen and accepted, maybe even understood.
As someone who has worked in a morgue & funeral center, I can maybe reassure you that you don't need visible injuries to be valid in your identity of being dead or undead. I have seen corpses that looked like they were alive, simply sleeping yet were not any less dead. Not everything can be seen from the outside, you don't have to feel like a fraud. Although of course I do sympathize with your feelings and don't think they aren't valid or can feel debilitating. Accepting yourself as you are is easier said than done.
I am so glad to hear that! (‾◡◝)
It is really cool to meet you, especially because I have seen (the possible) you in Hellraiser before and I am familiar with Twisted Wonderland. I would say I might have similar experiences to you! I have past lives and some that are shown in media, like you mention. Some notable ones are my lives as Alucard (shown in Hellsing) and Boothill (shown in Honkai: star rail). I look forward to your posts and if you have any questions or want to interact then you can always ask!
Me and my partner met online through her finding my nonhuman instagram page, and now we live together. I think that bonds like that are very possible and I am hoping that you will find someone you can meet up with! Maybe you could look around for some local communities? I don't know where you are but there are some discord servers dedicated to just local meetups.
Howdy and welcome, Rook! I am glad you decided to join here and make a post. There’s no need for shame, especially not at a place like here. I’m curious to what your past lives are, when you’re comfortable enough to share.
I am so happy to hear that you relate to that experience. To me it feels like true happiness to be so seen by your partner!
That is really interesting! When I first came to understand my horse identity I felt sure that I didn't have a past life as one but rather that I was born in the wrong body. I thought "on the moment this human body was born, there was also a foal born that was supposed to be my body". I used to call it soul-misplacement. I don't think it's necessarily have to be tied to past lives to still feel like you were a Xenomorph from the start. Again, I am not trying to explain your identity to yourself, you are the only one who knows what you are experiencing, I am just theorizing the options (´◡`).
Howdy Dreki! I saw you in Eurokin when I joined and I read your carrd website, especially your draconity page. It was a pleasure to read, thank you for putting your experiences down in such detail, it's so interesting. I look forward to your future posts.
I also have to live this life with chronic illness so I really resonate with your experience! For me it mostly amplified my feeling of dislike for the human experience. As a teen I would feel suck on the feeling that it was unfair that I not only had to be in a human but also be in a body that would not work.
When it comes to understanding my own nonhuman feelings I sometimes have a thought loop of "the chicken or the egg". "Did I start to feel alienated because I am a horse in a human body or do I feel like a horse in a human body because I am alienated?" From my understanding you experience your Xenomorph identity as a result of your experiences in life, but do you ever wonder if you had those experiences because you were a Xenomorph from the start? I know you mentioned your identity being a mix of psychological origin and what I am getting at is widely considered as spiritual, so I am not trying to misunderstand or sway you but I am just interested in your view, if you want to share it!
I am happy to share it with someone who appreciates it (❁´◡`❁). I actually didn't think of how swimming could remind someone of flying but that makes a lot of sense, wow! I appreciate the insight.
Thank you, it’s nice to meet you too! And yes absolutely, I have a lot of memories from my past lives that bring me joy, thank you for asking. I’ll share one specifically from my life as a dolphin since you mention that one. One of my fondest memories is swimming by my mother’s side close to the surface of the water. I remember then trailing behind her and her tail fluke caught some air from above the water, dragging it down would create bubbles going back up which would feel really nice on my face and belly.🐬
I hold this memory very close to my heart and I’m reminded by it whenever I go swimming and feel bubbles on my skin.
I’m from the Netherlands, (too). I would love to be put in the direction of those servers!
This is a great post, thank you so much for going so deeply into detail of your experiences! It’s amazing to read and learn about.
For me, my nonhuman feelings is something I believe to have been born with. An identity that’s stuck with me through reincarnation and for the most part has caused me more difficulty to cope because I’m often seen as weird. Ive always felt like I spoke a different language to humans. People can usually tell that there’s something different about me. It was especially prevalent as a kid because I didn’t care too much yet and I remember vividly that I had to learn how to be human and don’t default back to my horse/skeksis/dog behaviors. I’ve worked hard to create a mask for humans to see and interact with.
However, for your question; dropping the mask and expressing my true self always feels comforting. I am happy with my identity even if it makes some things more difficult for me. I find it hard to find people that understand me but when I do it’s always more genuine and the friendship is deeper. Being nonhuman gives me purpose, I often have human friends tell me that they don’t know who they are or don’t have interests but I’m happy that my nonhumanity has always been the center of my interest and purpose.
Another way I incorporate my identity for comfort or coping is that I kind of force myself to feel more dog, skeksis or horse depending on what I need to do at that moment. My default is always horse but when I need to sleep and lay down on a bed, I always try to force my dog mindset so I can lay down and rest without the discomfort I would feel from that as a horse. Same goes for foods, I rarely ever eat meat but when I’m socially pressured to or the rare instances I’m okay with it I will again put myself in a dog mindset so I can enjoy it.
Even though my identity is not something I chose and it’s caused me a lot of hardship, it’s also brought me a lot of happiness and unique experiences. It’s incorporated in every aspect of my life. I think everyone should try to find things that comfort the nonhuman part of us, it’ll make life feel a little lighter!
Thank you for the welcome, it’s nice to meet you too. I’ve got a grumpy old man called Onnoval and two sisters called Phoebe and Vivian! Do you have any animal companions? ^^
Hiya, Gill! Nice to meet you too.
One of my earliest memories was in kindergarten when I would hoard all the horse toys because “they’re my family” and I would look at them and realize that I was supposed to have a body like that. When I was old enough to communicate through words I would beg my parents to be around horses, even though my family was terrified of them. Then when I was old enough to spend my free time on my own, I would spend it all around the stables and horses, my own kind. These are some key moments but my whole days are filled with moments where I realize that I communicate in a horse-way, I would have constant dreams and memories. There really isn’t a way for me to go around it. And I knew it my whole life.
For other parts of my identity, it was either similar but less intense.