Yes, Allara is the Elenari creatrix goddess. That's absolutely correct. :) I'll have to see what I think of the finished story...fell behind on it due to other stuff, but possibly will make some progress on it tomorrow.
Mayhaw, yum yum. Lol. I remember Georgia making a mayhaw cake that was good, but never had Syleniel's tarts.
Well, I guess if I had to pick one word that could describe both of my parents, it'd be "eccentric". They were both military brats, and that's kind of where their similarities end. I was an accident who happened on an overseas vacation to Paris and the UK. At that time, my dad was an engineer and my mom had a corporate position with Frito-Lay Snacks, although she quit after I was born. I was raised mostly by my mother because dad traveled so much for his work that he wasn't home more than a few weekends a month, on average. Mom was very kind, a little bit of a hippie, and artistic. She homeschooled me, gardened, baked from scratch, dabbled in homeopathy and herbalism, sewed some of my clothes, made handmade Christmas ornaments, stenciled, and that kind of thing. My dad could be a little gruffer, sometimes temperamental. He's an old-,skool type who likes his Breitbart and his Fox News, but we manage to have a pretty placid sort of relationship these days with a minimum of hurt feelings. I was very sheltered growing up and I think a lot of my shyness came from that. I was the weird homeschooled kid who was essentially being raised by a single mom, and also helping to care for my siblings, in a well-off <span style="line-height: 1.8;">area where the kids wore designer outfits and rode ponies and had Daniel Radcliffe at their theme party and stuff like that. Lol.</span>
<span style="line-height: 1.8;"> My parent's marriage was always a little strained, and they eventually got divorced when I was 19, after it came out that my dad had a thing for seeing as many pretty ladies as possible, and my mom had a big midlife crisis and walked out the door to try to get together with her plastic surgeon. So...yeah. I love them a great deal, it's just always a colorful time. :) To be honest with you, after that whole experience I was never quite sure if I wanted to get married or not, but now I think I still do. Or at least to have a secure, marriage-like partnership. </span>
I'm LGBT as well. Spent a long time identifying as bisexual, then felt more lesbian for a time, currently re-evaluating. I think I may be bi after all. /Sigh/ Dad isn't really in the know, mom kinda looks the other way.
I haven't had many romantic relationships. Dated a guy in Scotland for a while when I was 17, then had a super short term thing with a dude who was a complete creep at age 20. After that I was a unicorn for a bit, which was better.
Hiya. I hope it doesn't seem like I'm following you all over the site, just wanted to mention that this group is usually pretty quiet, so it may be a bit before someone besides me sees this post. :)
It's interesting that you feel like you had a dwarven life in another place. Do you know what your people were like, or the elves you were close with? Were they like the dwarves and elves in the game, or were they different?
Sorry, but one question I forgot in my last reply. If you don't mind me asking, what were your parents like, just out of curiosity? I apologize in advance if that sounds like a loaded question; I'm honestly just curious to get to know you.
Yeah, that definitely helps to clarify, for sure. I'm sorry that you experienced something so difficult and lonely at such an early age.
I can sort of relate in a way, actually. When I was growing up, I struggled with shyness because my upbringing was a little unusual - not saying that you were also shy or that was the problem for you, just that it was a thing for me. I feel like I'm becoming more confident with time. Also like you, I yearn for connection with elves, very much. Maybe it sounds a little cheesy, but one of my big dreams is to someday meet my soulmate and have a life together with them. Not sure yet on whether we will have little elf babies. I think about it every now and then, but it's unlikely for some different reasons. Maybe in some other life. ;)
OK, a little more fed and caffeinated now. I'm on my phone, so not able to pull quotes from your post as easily for better readability, but I'll do my best.
Quote: "I'm really new to the community" (snip)
<span style="line-height: 1.8;">Welcome. I want to say that you're not the first dwarf I've ever heard of, but it's not a super common kintype either. To raise your chances of meeting a dwarf, your best bet is probably going to be checking in as many different social spaces as possible, and I'd especially recommend resources that are a little bit older as some long time community members may be able to put you in touch with somebody. There is a Yahoo Groups email list called Elven-Realities where you can definitely chat with elves, but it's really open to everyone, and many members there have been around forever and might be able to help. If you're interested in that, I can find a link and ping the list owner and make sure he doesn't miss your request to join. </span>
Quote: "Even as a really small girl, I remember sitting at the top of the stairs when I was supposed to be in bed" (snip)
At the risk of sounding like I'm diminishing your experience, I honestly think that this is a quite normal childhood memory. I remember sneaking out of bed as well, or trying to get forbidden late night snacks from the kitchen with my siblings while our parents entertained guests. I don't see this as indicative of much besides being a little kid, but I think I do understand where you're coming from in terms of feeling isolated, wanting meaningful connections with others, etc. From the way I read your post, it sounds like this has pretty much been a lifelong thing that you've had to deal with, and not necessarily the clear result of a trauma that you can remember or anything like that. But I don't want to speculate too much because I'm not qualified to play armchair psychologist and try to guess at what the true situation may be. On some level, I think a lot of people feel emotions like this - not everyone, but we all have our "stuff" - i.e., psychic baggage, that comes from different onion layers of things like adverse experiences and sometimes even genetic memory (the traumas, beliefs, patterns and phobias that some say we can potentially inherit <span style="line-height: 1.8;">from our parents and their parents.) </span>
So I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I think it's important to know that even though all of these feelings can seem really intimidating, it's okay to experience that because it doesn't make you "bad" or less worthy. I'm not here to tell you that that on its own definitely makes you a dwarf or not, but you can totally be an onion dwarf, you know?
To me it sounds like, you kinda experienced this really sensitive emotional awakening not just as a dwarf but completely throughout yourself in a general life sense. It may have started with a video game, but it's bigger than that for you. I personally think that when you begin to have that kind of inner revolution where it's like these floodgates are opening, the best thing is to be open to the experience because your mind and heart are speaking to you in a whole new way. And it's super vital to become more in tune with your higher or deeper self, whether that manifests as an elf or a dwarf or a human.
Quote: "I feel a deep affection for elves" (snip)
Yes, I can relate to this very much. :) In general, most elf circles are fairly laid back and welcoming, so I would hope that you wouldn't feel uncomfortable hanging out with us. We certainly have no objections!
Good morning GG, elf here. I think I should drink my coffee and eat breakfast before I reply, or nothing I say will make sense, but once I do that I'll come back to this. :)
But yanno...with that being said, I haven't listened to the recording in a long time now. I think I'll give it another try and see if anything else comes. :)
In all honesty, I'm highly skeptical of everything I saw in that "regression". There are a number of them on YouTube etc, but they're all a little too "Let's walk down a hundred stair steps and then choose a door to go through. Open the door. Slowly. Suspensefully. Now....What do you Seeeee?" lol. I'm lucky if my brain decides to make up anything or not, and when it does, it doesn't feel "real", you know?
Hi Alyssa, I'm not a vampire, just wanted to say that looking for love in an online forum such as this may not be safe. Best to get to know people slowly! Have a nice day.
Bra...no. My third eye is so sensitive that I can't comfortably hold a crystal in front of it. Or even a finger. There is no shapeshifting. None. Opening or balancing chakras can be a good thing. But no.
Welcome, FairView! This site is fairly new, and although there are ~ 50 members, there are rarely many people online at the same time. Like many other discussion boards, it may take several days or longer to get a response, but eventually someone will probably log in and see your post(s). :)
Also, forgot to mention it earlier, but I also have some language stuff - possibly remembered, possibly just 'speechflowfeel' word salad. I've written a good bit about it on Tumblr.
I’ve gone over memories in what, to many, would be exhausting detail to wring every bit of information possible from them.
I think that's valid.
I believe that I remember a few things about elf lives I've had on other worlds, but I don't know if all of those little fragments belong to the same lifetime. In one life, I was a soldier in a society that had a draft (kind of like Israel, where everybody does their mandatory military service), though I don't know if I ever saw battle. I think I was female, and our armor was silver and light blue. That's not all I know about that, but I won't carry on forever. This world was technologically advanced, and like Aelvaron there were mountains and two suns, but I do not think this was Aelvaron. It was not destroyed, but still exists today, although I'm told there's recently been some political turmoil in the form of a "revolution". I do not know why I left.
In one life, probably my most recent past incarnation, I spent at least part of my childhood living in a beautiful house that looked a bit like it was constructed with lots of white wood beams. In one life there was a place with buildings that had colorful dome roofs. Sadly, it seems like it's a bit easier to recall places than people or events.
I will spend some time looking at the Lostkin archives to see if anything jumps out at me. I have learned to be patient when it comes to memory stuff, and not have too many expectations. But I have found some success with hypnosis recordings, which tend to relax me a bit more than guided meditations.
^ That too. I actually forgot about the exposed code lol.
Yeah, I only put "." for the subject line because I was lazy and had a tired. There may not be a way to change it now, but it's not another bug.
Good article.
Yes, Allara is the Elenari creatrix goddess. That's absolutely correct. :) I'll have to see what I think of the finished story...fell behind on it due to other stuff, but possibly will make some progress on it tomorrow.
Mayhaw, yum yum. Lol. I remember Georgia making a mayhaw cake that was good, but never had Syleniel's tarts.
@Arethinn *sporfles* ;)
You are most definitely correct!
Also, I'm sorry about your first girlfriend. I don't quite know what to say, but she sounds like she was an exceptional person.
Well, I guess if I had to pick one word that could describe both of my parents, it'd be "eccentric". They were both military brats, and that's kind of where their similarities end. I was an accident who happened on an overseas vacation to Paris and the UK. At that time, my dad was an engineer and my mom had a corporate position with Frito-Lay Snacks, although she quit after I was born. I was raised mostly by my mother because dad traveled so much for his work that he wasn't home more than a few weekends a month, on average. Mom was very kind, a little bit of a hippie, and artistic. She homeschooled me, gardened, baked from scratch, dabbled in homeopathy and herbalism, sewed some of my clothes, made handmade Christmas ornaments, stenciled, and that kind of thing. My dad could be a little gruffer, sometimes temperamental. He's an old-,skool type who likes his Breitbart and his Fox News, but we manage to have a pretty placid sort of relationship these days with a minimum of hurt feelings. I was very sheltered growing up and I think a lot of my shyness came from that. I was the weird homeschooled kid who was essentially being raised by a single mom, and also helping to care for my siblings, in a well-off <span style="line-height: 1.8;">area where the kids wore designer outfits and rode ponies and had Daniel Radcliffe at their theme party and stuff like that. Lol.</span>
<span style="line-height: 1.8;"> My parent's marriage was always a little strained, and they eventually got divorced when I was 19, after it came out that my dad had a thing for seeing as many pretty ladies as possible, and my mom had a big midlife crisis and walked out the door to try to get together with her plastic surgeon. So...yeah. I love them a great deal, it's just always a colorful time. :) To be honest with you, after that whole experience I was never quite sure if I wanted to get married or not, but now I think I still do. Or at least to have a secure, marriage-like partnership. </span>
I'm LGBT as well. Spent a long time identifying as bisexual, then felt more lesbian for a time, currently re-evaluating. I think I may be bi after all. /Sigh/ Dad isn't really in the know, mom kinda looks the other way.
I haven't had many romantic relationships. Dated a guy in Scotland for a while when I was 17, then had a super short term thing with a dude who was a complete creep at age 20. After that I was a unicorn for a bit, which was better.
So, that's me. :)
Hiya. I hope it doesn't seem like I'm following you all over the site, just wanted to mention that this group is usually pretty quiet, so it may be a bit before someone besides me sees this post. :)
It's interesting that you feel like you had a dwarven life in another place. Do you know what your people were like, or the elves you were close with? Were they like the dwarves and elves in the game, or were they different?
Sorry, but one question I forgot in my last reply. If you don't mind me asking, what were your parents like, just out of curiosity? I apologize in advance if that sounds like a loaded question; I'm honestly just curious to get to know you.
Oh hi again. :)
Yeah, that definitely helps to clarify, for sure. I'm sorry that you experienced something so difficult and lonely at such an early age.
I can sort of relate in a way, actually. When I was growing up, I struggled with shyness because my upbringing was a little unusual - not saying that you were also shy or that was the problem for you, just that it was a thing for me. I feel like I'm becoming more confident with time. Also like you, I yearn for connection with elves, very much. Maybe it sounds a little cheesy, but one of my big dreams is to someday meet my soulmate and have a life together with them. Not sure yet on whether we will have little elf babies. I think about it every now and then, but it's unlikely for some different reasons. Maybe in some other life. ;)
OK, a little more fed and caffeinated now. I'm on my phone, so not able to pull quotes from your post as easily for better readability, but I'll do my best.
Quote: "I'm really new to the community" (snip)
<span style="line-height: 1.8;">Welcome. I want to say that you're not the first dwarf I've ever heard of, but it's not a super common kintype either. To raise your chances of meeting a dwarf, your best bet is probably going to be checking in as many different social spaces as possible, and I'd especially recommend resources that are a little bit older as some long time community members may be able to put you in touch with somebody. There is a Yahoo Groups email list called Elven-Realities where you can definitely chat with elves, but it's really open to everyone, and many members there have been around forever and might be able to help. If you're interested in that, I can find a link and ping the list owner and make sure he doesn't miss your request to join. </span>
Quote: "Even as a really small girl, I remember sitting at the top of the stairs when I was supposed to be in bed" (snip)
At the risk of sounding like I'm diminishing your experience, I honestly think that this is a quite normal childhood memory. I remember sneaking out of bed as well, or trying to get forbidden late night snacks from the kitchen with my siblings while our parents entertained guests. I don't see this as indicative of much besides being a little kid, but I think I do understand where you're coming from in terms of feeling isolated, wanting meaningful connections with others, etc. From the way I read your post, it sounds like this has pretty much been a lifelong thing that you've had to deal with, and not necessarily the clear result of a trauma that you can remember or anything like that. But I don't want to speculate too much because I'm not qualified to play armchair psychologist and try to guess at what the true situation may be. On some level, I think a lot of people feel emotions like this - not everyone, but we all have our "stuff" - i.e., psychic baggage, that comes from different onion layers of things like adverse experiences and sometimes even genetic memory (the traumas, beliefs, patterns and phobias that some say we can potentially inherit <span style="line-height: 1.8;">from our parents and their parents.) </span>
So I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I think it's important to know that even though all of these feelings can seem really intimidating, it's okay to experience that because it doesn't make you "bad" or less worthy. I'm not here to tell you that that on its own definitely makes you a dwarf or not, but you can totally be an onion dwarf, you know?
To me it sounds like, you kinda experienced this really sensitive emotional awakening not just as a dwarf but completely throughout yourself in a general life sense. It may have started with a video game, but it's bigger than that for you. I personally think that when you begin to have that kind of inner revolution where it's like these floodgates are opening, the best thing is to be open to the experience because your mind and heart are speaking to you in a whole new way. And it's super vital to become more in tune with your higher or deeper self, whether that manifests as an elf or a dwarf or a human.
Quote: "I feel a deep affection for elves" (snip)
Yes, I can relate to this very much. :) In general, most elf circles are fairly laid back and welcoming, so I would hope that you wouldn't feel uncomfortable hanging out with us. We certainly have no objections!
Good morning GG, elf here. I think I should drink my coffee and eat breakfast before I reply, or nothing I say will make sense, but once I do that I'll come back to this. :)
Wow, lots to unpack there.
But yanno...with that being said, I haven't listened to the recording in a long time now. I think I'll give it another try and see if anything else comes. :)
In all honesty, I'm highly skeptical of everything I saw in that "regression". There are a number of them on YouTube etc, but they're all a little too "Let's walk down a hundred stair steps and then choose a door to go through. Open the door. Slowly. Suspensefully. Now....What do you Seeeee?" lol. I'm lucky if my brain decides to make up anything or not, and when it does, it doesn't feel "real", you know?
Hi Alyssa, I'm not a vampire, just wanted to say that looking for love in an online forum such as this may not be safe. Best to get to know people slowly! Have a nice day.
Bra...no. My third eye is so sensitive that I can't comfortably hold a crystal in front of it. Or even a finger. There is no shapeshifting. None. Opening or balancing chakras can be a good thing. But no.
Welcome, FairView! This site is fairly new, and although there are ~ 50 members, there are rarely many people online at the same time. Like many other discussion boards, it may take several days or longer to get a response, but eventually someone will probably log in and see your post(s). :)
Also, forgot to mention it earlier, but I also have some language stuff - possibly remembered, possibly just 'speechflowfeel' word salad. I've written a good bit about it on Tumblr.
I think that's valid.
I believe that I remember a few things about elf lives I've had on other worlds, but I don't know if all of those little fragments belong to the same lifetime. In one life, I was a soldier in a society that had a draft (kind of like Israel, where everybody does their mandatory military service), though I don't know if I ever saw battle. I think I was female, and our armor was silver and light blue. That's not all I know about that, but I won't carry on forever. This world was technologically advanced, and like Aelvaron there were mountains and two suns, but I do not think this was Aelvaron. It was not destroyed, but still exists today, although I'm told there's recently been some political turmoil in the form of a "revolution". I do not know why I left.
In one life, probably my most recent past incarnation, I spent at least part of my childhood living in a beautiful house that looked a bit like it was constructed with lots of white wood beams. In one life there was a place with buildings that had colorful dome roofs. Sadly, it seems like it's a bit easier to recall places than people or events.
I will spend some time looking at the Lostkin archives to see if anything jumps out at me. I have learned to be patient when it comes to memory stuff, and not have too many expectations. But I have found some success with hypnosis recordings, which tend to relax me a bit more than guided meditations.