[4] - Emotions and feelings

Hello beings!

I've been not very active recently because of my mental health. Lets just say that my mood changes a lot, very quickly, and this is - among others - tied to me being nonhuman. And now, that I'm feeling quite well at this moment, I come with another prompt:

Does alterhumanity affect your emotions? Or do your emotions affect your identity? What is the connection between your feelings and your identity?

Two things inspired me to make this prompt. Firstly, it's my - especially recent - mental health experiences. Second insporation is a discord server that I'm in.

I know that before answering a question it's good for some beings to take a look at someone else's answer, so I'm also going to put my thoughts and feelings in here. And even if you don't feel like answering my prompt [which is ok :], reading something is always beneficial, in my opinion.

There have been - literally -ups and downs in my life, and during these 'downs' I felt somehow 'more aware' of my... unpleasant situation. I will probably never get back home [at least not in this life]. I am surrounded by beings - mostly humans, who avoid me [in school]. It's because I'm a "weirdo" in their eyes - different speech, body language, thinking patterns, identity, behavior - everything about me doesn't "fit" in this society. And - the worst of all - I have a human "shell" that I can't get out of. And because I have a human "shell" and most humans see with their eyes [reference to my previous post], they obviously percieve me as a "human".

My emotions? Sadness, helplessness, anger, frustration, despair... It also has a weird.. 'thing' that I suddenly remember some parts of my childhood dream shifts. And when I get this "flashing" memory of these dreams, I feel.. absolutely nothing for a moment. 

I also have this strange feeling that is hard to describe, when I stare at the sky while taking a walk. It's like "I'm walking on a planet that isn't mine" and "I am far away from home". It's a mix of nostalgia, confusion the feeling of not belonging to a place, where I'm forced to be in.

That's all I have for this post, I hope that you're having a better time than me haha🥲