Brightest

I've been on this site so long, and have yet to make an introduction. Better late than never, aye? 🤣 
I'm Neve (p. Neev, rhymes with Steve,) machinekin, a large format analog mixing console. I've known myself as a machine almost all my life, and learned of my specific make and model as a preteen. It's been a journey and a half, but a rewarding one. 

In body, I'm a 37 year old disabled, autistic, trans guy who loves music, art, games, and books. I'm a total nerd for electronics, computers, science, science fiction, and spirituality. I draw, paint, 3D model, write, and sing. 

Spiritually, I follow an eclectic path comprised of the spiritual expressions of my ancestors and the various wisdoms I've picked up along the way. My being otherkin has spiritual roots in animism and eternalism that I'm more than happy to elaborate more on. 

The new site here looks great, and I'm looking forward to more discussions here! 

- Neve

Knotted cord with K2 azurite stone and beads carved from European wolf bone, with a pendant featuring the therianthropy theta delta symbol with a wolf's face at the center.  Made for wolf and dog therians. Natural materials such as fur and bone have long been used to assist a shapeshifter into achieving their shift or growing closer to their animal-nature.

So... My account isn't exactly new, but I haven't been active here enough to make my presence known, so hi. The one speaking here is Guilherme and I'm part of the Fragments System (we are currently accepting being called Prometheus). I'm the main fronter along with Gabriel, but I still appear here more often.

I have been in a fallow season for a while.  After these past 9 months on disability, I had hoped I would be coming out of it soon. 

I had thought that I had come to terms with the isolation and loneliness.  And I had thought I had turned a corner for the better.  But the latest report is that this period will continue for at least another 7 months.  And it feels devastating.

I have tried to use this time for introspection and for some self-growth.  I have tried to be positive through it all.

But I miss the sun and the wind and the water and the rain oh so terribly.  I long for the community I once had and can only hope I will have again.

The parts of me that are other are feel so trapped and restless in this confined body.  The parts of me that need to swim and fly and dance and run are now even more restricted in this broken human form.  Yet they are the parts I find myself trying to escape to for refuge more and more each day.

I long for all my parts to be whole again.  To be able to live entirely again.

But until that time, there is nothing I can do.  I am still.

I do not bring death, but I am there to mourn the lost

I do not bring darkness, but I take comfort in its solitude

Is it my fault that those who come near me may choose their own destruction when I don't will it?

I choose to dress for myself, to sing for myself, to live for myself.  I choose to love myself.

But there are those who blame my mere existence for their troubles and their wrongs.  They come to me and say I am at fault that their ship is on the rocks.  I did not guide their ship or beckon them to my shore.  I want nothing to do with such people, yet they still come to me.

Leave me be.  Leave me in the darkness to mourn my lost siblings you have hunted and killed.  Leave me to live what remains of my life as I choose.

I want nothing of the death you bring

Hello again!

Hello beings!

greetings, havent posted in a bit due to things happening in everyday life; i come back to ask, what does a pack, a pride, a constellation or other have to be for you? who do you consider part of the group, is it strictly family-based, strictly alter/nonhuman, does it have to be a certain amount of folks, does everyone need to be the same 'type or clade, what do you do together (if anything), does everyone know eachother, etc etc. if you dont have a pack or are more on the solitary side, would you enjoy being in one anyway?

Personally, my constellation as of now consists of my mate and my biological little brother, all alterhuman and with 'types unrelated to mine. i would consider some irl/online human friends part of it as well, but in a more distant way if that makes sense. they may not be part of the core constellation but they are welcome anytime to join us for things. 

This post comes with a little prompt. I've seen alterhumans on the internet being sad with their identity because it encourages them to do things that humans don't usually do, like for example feeling the need to hunt or being active at night.

What kind of evidence do you personally find most persuasive?