Brightest

I do not bring death, but I am there to mourn the lost

I do not bring darkness, but I take comfort in its solitude

Is it my fault that those who come near me may choose their own destruction when I don't will it?

I choose to dress for myself, to sing for myself, to live for myself.  I choose to love myself.

But there are those who blame my mere existence for their troubles and their wrongs.  They come to me and say I am at fault that their ship is on the rocks.  I did not guide their ship or beckon them to my shore.  I want nothing to do with such people, yet they still come to me.

Leave me be.  Leave me in the darkness to mourn my lost siblings you have hunted and killed.  Leave me to live what remains of my life as I choose.

I want nothing of the death you bring

I must admit, I'm experiencing some degree of culture shock in easing myself back into otherkin/therianthropy "community" spaces. The landscape has changed, and I am unsure if it's changed for the better, to be honest. In addition, in (re)joining certain social media groups and having to explain and justify my claims to people who were in kindergarten back when I was first deep in research and self discovery is...something, that's for sure.

Rarely do I identify with anything mammalian. Usually it is (closer to) avian, or reptilian, if it is something that is "alive" and not android or replicant. But, when I do, it is the bear in particular. A common pattern that has stayed with me, to varying degrees, across multiple lifetimes.

Hello again!!

Achedunoi. It's a word that I've been carrying with me for years. It's one of the few words from my own world, my own language, that have survived the translation of my experience through Jarin's consciousness. It's also a word that is very special to me.

Achedunoi. In it's simplest form, it is a greeting to one who has been loved and missed, upon their returning. But it's not something that you would use to greet your partner with at the end of a workday. It is used for partings which have weight to them. That last decades, centuries, even lifetimes.  Partings that leave a wound behind.

Achedunoi. I have found the part of myself that has been missing, and I am made whole again.

I live on a world called Yyl'Nector. Not in the past, not in another life. I am there right now. I can see the sun there, taste the breeze, feel the grass under my feet. My home is there, my family is there, my friends are there.

By oak and ash and rowan tree The ancient magic calls to thee Who are kith and kin to we By blood and spirit called to me.

This song was based on original lyrics, written by me in April 2011: https://www.otherkin.net/posts/whats-changed/

This version was performed acapella by me, to the melody that I originally imagined when writing it.  Yes, that's my actual voice, and sorry for the background noise of the air conditioner and the mechanical keyboard. 

I don't love this version, I prefer the previously posted version set to music and performed by an AI, Suno.  However, I will admit that part of my reaction there is feeling something along the lines of dysphoria when I hear my own voice recorded.  I have a fairly decent singing voice, but I much prefer to share it in live in-person contexts.  Bardic circle around a campfire, for example.  Maybe sometime I'll see you there.

This song was based on original lyrics, written by me in April 2011: https://www.otherkin.net/posts/whats-changed/

However, it was set to music and performed by an AI, Suno.  This allowed me to share it in a format that I simply wouldn't have been able to otherwise, and personally I think this is the best version of the song, and came out remarkably consistent with my original vision for it.  However, I will also be posting an acapella version in my own voice, with the melody as I had originally imagined it when writing the song.  You can find that here: https://www.otherkin.net/posts/whats-changed-acapella-version-de497393/

I've been around for awhile.