LIVE FROM OTHERKIN TV:
Order in the court! The Honorable Judge Rialian, Prince Righteous, Defender of the Royal Throne, HOPE of the Realm, is now presiding!
Plaintiff: Lady Taffy Brightstar of Willowood Defendant: Rowan al’Thandor, alleged Dandelion Mage
The Plaintiff is suing the Defendant for $93 million for turning her crabapple trees into Dandelions and making wine from said flowers without giving her a share of the profits.
Judge Ri: What’s the problem?
Taffy (a small, rather rotund elf who resembles a ball of dough): He’s the evil Dandelion Mage, he is, he is! He turned all my crabapples into dandelions!
Judge Ri: And the problem is? (raises one eyebrow)
Taffy: He made wine and did not give me any of the profits realized!
(Rowan groans and shakes his head).
Judge Ri hands Taffy a slice of Brie: Here’s some cheese to go with your whine.
Rowan (a handsome young dragon with a roguish grin): Your Honor, it was at Lady Brightstar’s request that I made the Dandelion Wine for her. All profits were to be split 50-50.
Judge Ri (to Taffy): Is that true?
Judge Ri: So, what’s going on here?
Rowan: We broke up, that’s all, and she went off her rocker.
Taffy: Your Honor, I am suing this evil Dandelion Mage for pain and suffering and damages inflicted…
Rowan: Well, I am countersuing for…
Judge Ri: Enough, both of you.
(Taffy and Rowan keep arguing and screaming).
Judge Ri: Don’t make me come down there.
(They both yell louder and start throwing things at each other).
Judge Ri: All right, that’s it!
He descends from the bench, grabs them both, and gives each a sloppy, resounding lick on the nose.
Taffy and Rowan: AAAAIIIEEEEEEE!!!! (They run out of the courtroom still screaming).
Bailiff: That wraps it up for today’s episode of Judge Ri! See you next time, when we have the divorce case of The Bondage Fairy who was kept in captivity by a band of Elves and liked it!