The Logic of Otherkin

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Otherkin:

People who feel they are in some way not classifiable simply as human. Be it personality, worldview, mental characteristics, spirituality (the soul or nonphysical essence), or even physically. Often it is a combination of several or all of these things.

Those who would identify themselves as Otherkin or by names that essentially fall within the same description have, very slowly, become increasingly visible. At first, in the ‘safe’ venue of the online world, but increasingly identifiable in general society; if still quiet and private about their beliefs to most people except one another and the occasional individual who is exceptionally open minded.

Otherkin as a general concept or system of belief is often ridiculed as being inherently irrational and counterfactual. Otherkin are frequently on the receiving end of deconstructive arguments – a great many of which contain logical fallacies. Which isn’t to say that, considering where our beliefs lay, Otherkin haven’t perpetrated errors in logic as well, sometimes knowingly, and sometimes out of desperation to respond to attacks both fair and unfair.

Otherkin are people who are more different from the expected norm than even many subcultures that would be considered fringe, and inevitably, open themselves up to hostility and scorn that frequently is baseless and smacks of an agenda of prejudice for the sake of prejudice against “the different”, among other possible agendas. This essay will attempt to highlight typical fallacious arguments leveled against Otherkin, and to provide Kin themselves with a reference of how proper logical reasoning can actually support their beliefs and positions, and not merely be used to deconstruct them. However, it also will highlight fallacies as otherkin can and have used them to support their position, in order to aid those who have been sincere but constructed a poor argument to defend themselves against criticism or attack.

 

Logic as Applied to Otherkin

The beliefs of Otherkin can appear colorful, fanciful, and even outrageous by the typical standards of what people take as “possible” and “impossible”. Yet at the root, to borrow a thought from the Otherkin FAQ, being Otherkin is not about what seemingly fantastic or unheard of creature or being you may identify with, but how a person thinks and feels; how they interact with the world.

That out of the way, a key point to put forth is that being Otherkin does not equate believing anything you hear, are told, imagine, or dream up. Logic and even skepticism are as applicable to life as Otherkin as to any other identity one could have in this world. Even so, logic and skepticism are often used to “hang” Otherkin with or dismiss them without respect for their beliefs.

Before going further, something needs to be stated up front about logic. Logical reasoning should not be taken as an absolute law that rules the universe. Often, things that are reasoned out as logically impossible are taken to be impossible, period. Yet time and again in history, entirely logical and internally consistent ideas that were thought to be universal were shown to not be so, once greater understanding was available. How does this apply here? Simple. If a logical conclusion that supports a given Otherkin belief is reached, it still may be reevaluated later. And by the same coin, if logic is arrived at which seems to indicate an Otherkin belief – or Otherkin itself – is invalid, it only means that it appears illogical. It cannot be a universal statement, an absolute. A belief is a belief, and logic is not a set of rules that governs human (or if you prefer, sapient) behavior. If instinct or an indefinable feeling prods a person to believe in something that is seemingly implausible or illogical, then they may still choose to believe it. And acknowledging that a belief you hold may appear illogical does not automatically denote insanity or ignorance – especially if you are acknowledging that it is, at this point in time, something outside of logic and empirical evidence. For example, I could make the statement:

I am a dragon. This is what I feel I am, and what my own subjective proofs (and proofs that are objective that I have taken as proof of draconity, even if that connection itself cannot be ’empirically’ proven). Logically, there are many reasons why I might feel I’m a dragon that don’t require a spiritual or mystical component – including the possibility that I might simply be broken in the head. From an extreme skeptical point of view, it might be argued that I -should- take these more provable or likely-seeming reasons first, over a less provable explanation – that dragons exist and all the implications that go along with that. Yet, what if I’m right, and the fact that I’m right is simply something that cannot be “proven” with the evidence at hand? Logic alone isn’t sufficient for me to answer this; which is where belief comes in.

In the end, logic is a tool. While some choose to hold the belief system that it is the ultimate tool, it still is not the only one and like any tool, unlikely to be fit for every application. Fully going into logic is way beyond the scope of this essay, but a starting point for reading can be found here.

A problem is that Otherkin and other similar spiritual beliefs rest on proofs that are elusive and highly subjective to the individual. Often, things must be taken as true and worked from there. And criticism of Otherkin often is inspired by people who are, indeed, very loose with applying judgment to what they choose to believe. The things Otherkin believe in are typically very much set against what consensual reality and culture advises should be considered as acceptable ideas. When an Otherkin assertion is needlessly illogical and perhaps downright wonky by any standards, it can serve as ammunition for various fallacious logic attacks such as theStraw Man Gambit.

Something that I feel should be stated up front is that all examples of fallacious arguments or attacks are taken from real sources. These are not academic conjecture; while they may be phrased in a generic and sometimes slightly humorous way, the essential points in each one are entirely from actual arguments that I personally have heard, read, or been challenged with.

Logical Fallacies

Straw Man

Against Kin:

The first and possibly most common attack on Otherkin is an old standby of tilted logical debate: the Straw Man Gambit.

Wellwort Dragosi: “I believe that dragons exist outside of human mythology and legend, and their presence in so many diverse cultures is a sign that something may have been the inspiration for the stories. I myself am a dragon in spirit; perhaps through some mechanic of reincarnation. There are belief systems that support that; and in my personal case, believing that traveling spirit is a dragon, is based largely on personal intuition, though I’ll admit there’s other subjective evidence I’ve collected over the years.”

Wesker T. Skeptic: “You my friend, are suffering a delusion. Dragons are fictional creatures that are made up for things such as fantasy movies. It is obvious a fantasy movie is not real. If you’re claiming to be a character from such a movie, and are serious, you’re insane.”

Something is terribly wrong here. If the play of the debate seems unfair, that is because the Straw Man technique takes a person’s position or premises and greatly oversimplifies them in order to make them seem implausible and very easy to tear down. In this case, while it is possible that Wellwort’s beliefs about dragons outside of fiction may be incorrect, Wesker has refused to acknowledge them as the premises put forth and instead simplified the object of Wellwort’s position – dragons – to the point where Wellwort can be “proven” insane simply by holding the position.

The Straw Man is used against Kin frequently. It’s true that many Kin beliefs involve things that have been used in myth and obviously created fiction. However, rational Kin do not generally claim to be those fictions, but something like them. This crucial difference is often shoved aside by people using the Straw Man style of argument. In addition, the Straw Man argument against Otherkin is often phrased in condescending and insulting terms, often in a way that adds in the additional fallacies of Appeal to Force and Ad Hominem Attack.

Against Skeptics:

I haven’t, to be honest, seen a pure Straw Man attack used against a critic of Otherkin beliefs that often. A possible reason is that critics who are rational and logical enough to have the forethought to assemble some facts on their side have the burden of proof in their favor; it’s easy to say dragons don’t exist because nobody has ever seen one (at least, no accounts that are verified and taken by society in general as credible and factual), though this position if taken too far falls victim to Ad Ignorantiam. Still:

Wesker T. Skeptic: “All I’m saying is that it seems pretty safe to assume dragons don’t exist, as not a shred of acceptable evidence has ever been discovered. It’s not like people are blind. I know you claim to have evidence, but the kind you haven’t isn’t something you can prove objectively. So it can’t be taken into account in establishing facts.”

Wellwort Dragosi: “You just don’t want to accept it, so you say my proof doesn’t matter. I know I’m a dragon! I’ve always felt it. If I wasn’t, why would I? I can remember being a dragon even. I have instincts that don’t even match my body. That’s not proof?”

Wesker is correct that subjective proof such as intuition, feelings of spirituality or spiritual effects and forces, internal dialog and even alleged past life memories don’t offer the kind of proof that he’s talking about. Wellwort’s counter simplifies his position to make it sound as if Wellwort’s personal evidence could only be rejected due to Wesker refusing to acknowledge it.

Argumentum Ad Ignorantiam

Against Kin:

This one, Ad Ignorantiam, means in literal translation to argue from ignorance. This fallacy happens when it’s argued that something must be true just because it hasn’t been proven false. Critics often insists that Otherkin reasoning and rationalization functions this way:

Wellwort Dragosi: “Well, you know, this is a subjective belief even if I’ve found it true to my own satisfaction. After all, you can’t declare for sure that dragons don’t exist and never have existed somewhere, somehow. We just don’t know.

Wesker T. Skeptic: “Ah hah! You cannot expect me to swallow this; it’s the oldest trick in the book. You say that dragons can’t be disproved, and so everybody has to accept that you’re a dragon. By that logic, I can say that mountain Gnomes must exist because they can’t be disproved absolutely for sure. You can’t call yourself a dragon with that poor logic.”

Here, Wesker is applying a slight amount of Straw Man in combination with invoking Ad Ignorantiam. Wellwort was inferring the reverse side of Ad Ignorantiam: that you can’t declare something is false just because it hasn’t been proven true. Wesker simplified things though, ignoring this, and attacking Wellwort’s statement in the extreme light of argument from ignorance: that Wellwort has poor logic because his belief in dragons is based solely on the fact that they haven’t been formally proven to not exist. Otherkin themselves should be careful about backing into this trap however. The key concept of Ad Ignorantiam is that you can’t declare something is or isn’t true in the absolute sense just because hasn’t been proven yet either way.

Otherkin, ‘supernatural’, magical, and non-mainstream spiritual beliefs are often written off without much examination or credit given, but they can’t be simply written off by declaring Ad Ignorantiam: that they don’t exist because they haven’t been scientifically proven.

Against Skeptics:

A number of people who are skeptics and even hard Atheists have complained about the portrayal of skeptical thought in TV shows such as The X-Files. Agent Scully, they say, has become a poster girl for skepticism, but is actually frequently guilty, in a strict sense, of many errors, including Ad Ignorantiam: stating that the supernatural -does not- exist, or something to that effect, rather than saying such things haven’t been proven to the point where they could be relied on from a logical perspective to exist. Or even explaining that logical thought -suggests- that ‘supernatural’ forces are not required in the apparent operation of the universe, and so their existence can be doubted rationally.

Wesker T Skeptic: “There are a lot of factors that could contribute to you thinking you’re a dragon that are seemingly more reasonable than invoking the supernatural. A great deal of psychology has been shown to be a reliable guide to why people feel and think as they do; falling back on that before resorting to unproved and maybe unprovable supernatural or metaphysical explanations seems a lot more reasonable.”

Wellwort Dragosi: “Nobody has disproved spiritual and magical forces. They explain my draconity better than anything else.”

While spiritual and magical phenomenon might explain Wellwort’s draconity better than more concrete things, he makes the assumption that because they haven’t been actively disproved they can be taken as objective fact (proven) and put in the same league as the other possible explanations Wesker put forth, and so he can dismiss Wesker’s other possibilities out of hand.

Circular Reasoning

Against Kin and Skeptics both:

Circular Reasoning occurs when an arguement attempts to serve as it’s own proof. An example example of a circular arguement:

Wellwort Dragosi: “I assert that I am a dragon. Because of this, I have traits like feeling phantom wings and wanting piles of stuff to hoard. Of course, since I have draconic traits, that just proves I’m a dragon.”

Wesker T. Skeptic: “You can’t prove those traits are actual dragon traits. In fact, since we know nothing about real dragons, you can’t say any traits are dragon traits.”

Wellwort Dragosi: “But you can’t prove they aren’t dragon traits, either, so nyah.”

And so forth…

Here it could be said that the burden of proof lies with Wellwort for proving that dragons exist. But neither he nor Wesker can go anywhere if they both continue to start and stop with the same line of reasoning over and over. Not to mention that Wesker also can’t disprove dragons due to lack of evidence (Ad Ignorantiam).

Hasty Generalization

Against Kin:

There are a lot of people who are considered pretty wacky even within Otherkin circles. Many of these folk are perfectly harmless; the eccentrics among eccentrics. Yet there are those who do make very dicey and possibly insupportable claims, and insist on them in an irrational manner, or who use Otherkin as an excuse for attitudes such as racism against “normal” human beings (also a trend). Hasty Generalization is used to take a few cases and use them as a generalization for a much larger number of cases which may not be accurate.

Wesker T. Skeptic: “You Otherkin are all alike. Just a bunch of powergamers living out a fantasy world to make yourselves feel important. You even try to claim you’re better than “we humans” and should be the rightful rulers of the planet. Nobody is going to buy into that crap.”

Wellwort Dragosi: “Now hang on. There are some dumb sounding kids out there, yeah, but everybody isn’t like that. This isn’t a power gaming excuse to fantasize; a lot of people really feel these things.”

Hasty Generalization at work. Typically, Wesker might follow up by insisting that the minority cases he picked out to generalize with demonstrate the only principles Otherkin has going for it, and once again falling back on making a Straw Man of Dragosi’s position.

Against Skeptics:

Hasty Generalization is also another pitfall Kin themselves should avoid. It is in fact the mechanic by which some convict the entire human race of various “evils”. Otherkin have applied hasty generalization, in conjunction with overuse and abuse of the term “mundane”, as a catchall answer to any criticisms or attacks.

Wesker T. Skeptic: “Humans believe in a lot of crazy things. I haven’t seen any evidence that this isn’t another crazy thing; I mean any of it, be it dragons, magic, the astral plane. At least in that, it’s not personal Wellwort. I’d say this to anyone who insisted this supernatural stuff was real.”

Wellwort Dragosi: “Humans are all alike. You’re all narrow-minded and bland, and don’t have any imagination; just a bunch of mundanes. It’s no wonder you can’t believe in anything and write this stuff off.”

There are certainly some people who – regardless of what they identify with, be it Human, Otherkin, or Interstellar Cheese Being – dismiss everything they cannot instantly explain, poke, prod, or easily categorize with a wave of the hand and a sneer as “nonsense”. Even if they happen to be correct on a given item, their attitude of total dismissal without knowledge or investigation might be wrong – but our Wellwort (as well as a great many Otherkin, and metaphysical people period) seem to apply this as a generalization to all skeptics everywhere is one of baseless disbelief; the “not believing because you have no imagination/ability to conceive of it”. Otherkin would do well to remember that among the ranks of the highly skeptical, are people who were Otherkin at some point. Or people who, if they are honest enough, will admit they would like to believe, but cannot bring themselves to because of lack of evidence to satisfy them personally.

Just because one can understand something entirely, doesn’t mean one believes it or lacks the capacity to believe. Many people at some point had enough proof for themselves to believe in given things; that changed, and they no longer believe them.

Of course, a caveat here. People who once believed and now do not, or who would greatly wish to, but can’t swing it, once in a while become unfair and caustic critics, who themselves commit logical fallacies, or at least apply undue venom to their deconstructions and criticisms. The phrase “You fools! I woke up from the fantasy. You’re just delusional! At least I know what’s real now!” has been heard personally more than one time by someone feeling very bitter.

Ad Hominem Attack

Against Kin:

This fallacious argument is a mainstay of political debate. Ad Hominem means literally, to attack the man. Instead of criticizing a position, you attack the character of the person holding it: “Senator Gallump once filed a suspicious tax return seven years ago. Therefore, his tax proposal can’t be taken as sound. Should we trust a man on taxes who is a proven cheater?” Attack on character is a very, very common thing online when relating to Otherkin, Dragons, Weres, and Furries. Often, it is combined with Ad Numerum to paint a “fringe” person as a freak of society. Most people, it gets argued, are not like that, and therefore, the person left out in the cold – Otherkin, say – must just have something wrong with them or else they would be like everybody else.

Wesker T. Skeptic: “Normal people do NOT go around claiming to be fantasy creatures. Whatever your problem is, it obviously has made you an outcast from society. What is healthy is probably what most people agree on – that’s why it is agreed on! – so I doubt any of your “logic” would make any sense. If you were capable of logical deduction, you’d have figured out you’re selling yourself on a load of bull. I pity you dude, I really do.”

Wellwort Dragosi: “Say WHAT?”

Here we have Wesker both attacking Wellwort’s basic mental faculties to prove his premises are invalid, further “proving” that Wellwort is dysfunctional because he is not like most people, invoking Ad Numerum, or “whatever the most people believe must be correct”.

Against Skeptics:

One of the problems of an Ad Hominem attack is that, because it “breaks the rules” in a way that attempts to get personal, it can be very insulting and cause a good deal of offense and anger. Frequently, people (hardly just Otherkin) will fall prey to countering Ad Hominem with Ad Hominem – “an eye for an eye”. While some particularly low-blow attacks may even deserve some kind of response to them, in a strictly rational sense, it isn’t proper. Nobody is perfect however, and most everyone might be said to fall victim to this at one time or another (including myself).

Wesker T. Skeptic: “Yeah right, Wellwort, or whatever your name really is. You’re just a little boy trying to look big on the Internet. Or wait, I bet you’re a 40 year old loser who lives in his parent’s basement! Ha ha, I bet j00 R g@y! So all this stuff you claim is rubbish.”

Wellwort Dragosi: “So? You’re just another idiot who uses l33t speech and probably can’t hit the bowl when he takes a piss. You don’t know anything.”

Some thought goes that resorting to insult (ad hominem) causes the attacker to lose the argument instantly, regardless of how valid their points are. While this has been pointed out by some skeptics as a reason why they don’t give credit to much Otherkin reasoning – due to “attitude” Kin have regarding so-called normal humans -, it doesn’t let skeptics off the hook either. An insult is an insult. Even so, Kin do use Ad Hominem in place of a real defense (even if the defense is as simple as “so what?”) very often.

And here a caveat. Technically, all forms of Ad Hominem are logically invalid, and because of this, some schools of thought denote it as unacceptable to use period. One form though, Genetic Ad Hominem, attacks the background of the argument An example would be saying that Steve argues that Gertrude isn’t a fit candidate for a position as proof reader because Gertrude is German and Steve has a prejudice against that nationality and doesn’t want to work with Gertrude.

While Genetic Ad Hominem is invalid as far as proving or disproving the point at hand, some feel it is useful in exposing bigger and very possibly more important issues. In the case of Otherkin, cases of Genetic Ad Hominem seem to appear from skeptics with assumptions – one being the the assumption that for example, anyone with an extremely strong belief in something outside of rigid, formal logic must be wrong in the head, and so instead of debating points fairly, they will try to tilt everything to insist that Kin are simply crazy (and state as much). My general thought on this issue is that performing Genetic Ad Hominem on an attacker may be acceptable if forced as the only way to get to the -real- issue.

Wesker T. Skeptic: “Your logic doesn’t hold up. You have no proof. You’re a fool; anyone who believes in this stuff is an idiot. I know, I was stupid once too and believed.”

Wellwort Dragosi: “You’re bitter. You’re probably so offended by my beliefs because you wanted to believe in dragons so bad, and convinced yourself you can’t and that their is nothing past the end of your nose. So is that it? Can’t stand for someone to have something you can’t? Or maybe you’re just egotistical and can’t deal with people who think different and figure they must be mentally impaired, so that’s why you refute every point I make?”

This kind of exchange may be considered invalid by many, regardless of if Wellwort is entirely on target about Wesker, especially if Wellwort resorted to far more heated and baited language. Still, “the bitter skeptic” is a person who I have personally met once or thrice, and they can be frustrating to deal with.

Appeal to Force

Against Kin:

A nastier take on Wesker’s deconstruction of Wellwort in the previous example, Appeal to Force happens when one tries to use the threat of force and/or greater authority to overrule any arguments the opponent may have.

Wellwort Dragosi: “Despite everything you claim about being Otherkin, my experience has been overwhelmingly positive! I’m rational; I cross check myself and am not gullible. I’ve met many people who are able to appreciate my beliefs and respect that I believe; I’ve felt better about life since coming to understand what I am.”

Wesker T. Skeptic: “That means nothing. You’ve just been in the fantasy online world. Go out on the street and tell somebody you’re a dragon, kid. This whole WORLD will say you’re crazy, and you’ll be shipped off to the funny farm in no time flat. You need to learn which way the bread is buttered, or you’ll regret it.”

Against Skeptics:

Appeal to Force hasn’t really been directed against the skeptic position in my experience; the possible reason being that the position of Otherkin puts a person in the seat of challenging consensual reality; there really isn’t a handy source for a Kin to use and call on to win the debate for them, such as public opinion. At most, in challenging general spirituality, a Kin might be tempted to refer to other, more established spiritual and religious belief systems as circumstantial evidence for the validity of spiritual beliefs.

“Tons of people believe in God, or some other deity, and believe they have souls. If you want to disprove me, you have to disprove all of them as well, good luck!”

Ad Numerum

Against Kin:

The assertion that whatever most people believe must be true, though it also can be applied in reverse quite easily. Ad Numerum is a standby with which to entirely dismiss the argument out of hand.

Wellwort Dragosi: “Well, see, I’m a dragon and I have reasons for believing this, that I’ve thought about for a long time…”

Wesker T. Skeptic: “Eh? What? Go away, nutjob. Everybody knows dragons don’t exist.”

Against Skeptics:

Wesker T. Skeptic: “For the last time, Wellwort, I see no proof you can give me to convince me dragons exist or you could possibly, in any way, be a dragon.”

Wellwort Dragosi: “That’s because you ignore the biggest proof of all, that so many people are Otherkin! We can’t all be wrong!”

No TRUE Scotsman!

Against, well, everybody!

This one, the colorfully named No True Scotsman Fallacy, is simple.

It’s when you define an arbitrary (or unproved or unprovable or very often, stereotypical) characteristic to a definition, and then state that something doesn’t fit that definition by lack of that characteristic. The Scotsman reference comes from this example.

John says that all true Scotsmen drink whiskey, and your friend Agnus doesn’t drink. Therefore, John declares that your friend is not a true Scotsman and cannot be from Scotland.

It is however, something Kin use to unfairly deconstruct each other as much as critics might use it. At first, it might seem that a skeptic might not use this line of attack as it originates “from the inside”. Some critics are clever however, to their credit.

Elena Elfbright: “Wellwort, you’re not a real dragon. A real dragon has two horns and a crests of spines down his back. And a real dragon doesn’t dislike Elves! We’re the traditional allies of all dragons! You need to stop pretending.”

Wellwort Dragosi, muttering: “And she wonders why I’m sick of elves…”

Wesker T. Skeptic, leaning in from one side: “Actually, I’m an open minded guy! I think dragons and elves really MIGHT exist… but I know for sure they’re nothing like what you guys claim to be. You’re ALL fakes!”

Now this one is, on the whole, really very silly. But Otherkin do it to each other all the time. It’s tempting too. There are people who do act very flaky, and behave as if they’re simply ‘along for the ride’, picking up the title of elf, dragon, or what have you to join in the fun. It’s hard to resist deflating them. But once you get started down the path of using the No True Scotsman fallacy, it’s very hard to not go too far and target people who don’t deserve it. In fact, even the original people being criticized this way may in fact be entirely legitimate, but not have an honest understanding of what they are if they see everything as a big game.

Some skeptics have used this argument within a simplified mindset where they take the existence of dragons, say, as hypothetically possible, but only within the closest “facts” available. Such as for example, a dragon even if it did exist, would be a large, armor plated, hell-bent personality of a beast that relentlessly hoarded shiny objects and had a fixation for living underground despite being a flying creature (the cave thing). Then proceed to declare that no dragon Kin could possibly be real because their personality traits were not evocative enough of these criteria. Of course, this skeptical dismissal is also guilty of being a Straw Man argument because it dismisses Otherkin thought on spirituality and the interaction between a human life and personality and a person’s “other” element without even considering the ramifications on it.

Equivocation

Against Kin:

Equivocation involves changing the meaning of a word to suit one’s position. Against Kin, this has involved to a great degree, a back and forth interplay of just what it means “to be human”.

Wellwort Dragosi: “I don’t identify wholly with being human because I feel my thoughts, perspective, and feelings are different enough from those (humans) around me to suggest that something is up. I’ve met enough other Kin who just don’t fit within the conventions that go along with being ‘human’.”

Wesker T. Skeptic: “A human being is a bipedal primate; homo sapien. Unless you, or your friends, have grown wings, tails, and snouts, or maybe elf ears, or a coat of fur, you’re all human. It’s entirely insane to say you’re not human. Look in a mirror.”

It should be painfully obvious that Wellwort is using human to describe the mind and personality, and if accepted in the argument, the spirit (because debates with religious folk skeptical of Otherkin do happen). Wesker however, has shifted the focus on to the biological definition of human, which of course, makes Wellwort seem insane if he states “I am not human” while standing clad in an obviously human form. Skeptics should be aware that quite a bit of philosophizing goes on among Kin as to just what “human” means in a sense beyond the body… though regrettably, there seems to be no shortage of skeptics who will state “look in a mirror. If you see a human, you are human,” no matter how much Kin state they’re talking about what begins after biology ends.

Special note: there are, indeed, some Otherkin (largely, in my experience, elven-kin) who believe they do actually have a physical element that is not human. This is something that could be debated in an entire paper by itself – or a series – because it -is- something so hard to prove and so easy to dismiss with available evidence (the fact that such a Kin’s physical biology may not appear overly different from any other person).

Against Skeptics:

By the same token, skeptical folk have rightly complained that Otherkin will attempt to shift the usage of “human” or other terms into their own court in order to answer criticisms.

Wesker T. Skeptic: “Human is as human does. You have a body that’s just like everybody else. That body even dictates things such as your thoughts, emotions, and reactions due to chemistry; how your actual brain is wired up. This even suggests that your personality is probably human – even if a very odd human due to how you see yourself.”

Wellwort Dragosi: “Human is how one thinks and feels, and I don’t feel human.”

This is obviously entirely changing the meaning (and topic, really) from what Wesker is saying. I feel this is an understandable fault, in many cases; a good deal of my sympathy has to go to Kin in general here, no matter how utterly annoying it must be for a skeptical person to deal with this shifting. Kin believe they’re correct, but often have precious little to go on aside from instinct. The statement of “I don’t feel human” is a beginning place for many or most, and that simple assertion may be something that goes beyond any ultimate, logical deduction; no matter if the majority of available proof from a skeptical position is set far against Kin.

Still, this assertion is often used to deny other possibilities, such as biology. I myself do take biology into account; my belief in the spiritual is extremely powerful, yet even I concede that at some level, I may just be “a very wacky human”. I’d argue that if so, it was wackiness in a way that should be respected unto itself, and even then, the identity of “dragon” would not be invalid (from other perspectives), but all the same, it is possible. Otherkin would probably do well (and have better conversations with people who don’t share their beliefs) to keep this in mind, in my view.

Lack of Credibility

Against Kin:

Quite simply, Lack of Credibility is making claims of authority without the credentials to back yourself up. This is pretty common among all people, not just Otherkin. Of course, credentials alone will not prove your point; but people simply want to sound smart. Committing this fallacy is going one step too far with that. Ihave seen this come up in criticisms of Kin.

Wellwort Dragosi: “The kind of dragon I is technically quadruped, but can use the forepaws for tools since there’s an opposable thumb on each one, and can walk on two or four legs, though four is more stable. This is the idea about the species I have.”

Wesker T. Skeptic: “That’s impossible. Let me tell you the scientific fact; an animal that can walk or run on four limbs is never going to have anything like opposable thumbs or grasping digits. Your dragon just is impossible.”

Or alternately:

Sally T. Skeptic: “Wesker’s right. I’ve got four years of college and I’m studying biology. You can’t have thumbs on something that isn’t built like a human being. Never happen. Impossible.”

Here, Wesker’s fault is making bald statements as if he’s an authority of biology and evolutionary theory. But his absolute denial of the possibility seems suspect when applied to hypothetical biology (such as pondering dragons), and considering that one can look at an animal as humble and common as the raccoon to find a creature that can move on four limbs yet has dexterous grasping forepaws, very close to human-like hands. One would expect an ‘expert’ to be aware of an example as common as this.

On the other hand, Sally’s fault appears to be in resting on her laurels of education to make her point valid, even though it as well goes against readily available empirical evidence. I know personally that I’ve encountered more than one person who has dismissed my beliefs with a statement to the effect that I should educate myself on formal logic, as they are, yet in the very same dismissal has made glaring logical fallacies.

Against Skeptics:

Here, the urge that some Kin feel to provide validation for their beliefs has led them to make statements from the perspective of an ‘expert’ without the credentials, demonstration of equivalent competency, or in direct conflict with the actual knowledge of the field.

Wesker T. Skeptic: “Hmm. Well… I suppose it’s possible that a dragon with grasping forelimbs could arise if the conditions promoted it. So it’s not out of the realm of possibility, lack of proof aside.

Wellwort Dragosi: “All dragons have have grasping forelimbs. They are all allergic to high amounts of sucrose, and can drink salt water without any problem. You have to keep those things in mind as well; plus, dragons can interbreed with almost ANY animal!” (**note** This last item has been inserted by the editor at the request of Ohpleasenotagain, the Goddess of Common Sense, after seeing one too many dragon-amalgamation creatures that would make a quintuple-mix Gryphon blush. **note**)

It’s no wonder skeptics (and many Otherkin!) would be highly annoyed at Wellwort here. Not only is he making definitive statements (“really and for sure”) about a subject on which nobody could, in this life and present reality be a true, objective expert on, but his claims fly in the face of much accepted biology (the last item). Of course, it might be possible a “super breeder” species of creature exists in the universe, but it would redefine a huge amount of knowledge on how reproduction and genetics worked. Wellwort doesn’t say anything to demonstrate an authoritative grasp on just how this would ability would function to back up making such a bold statement.

Non Sequitur

Against Kin:

Non Sequitur occurs when a conclusion doesn’t logically follow from the preceding statements. It means, literally, “Does not follow”. A fallacy of Non Sequitur doesn’t necessarily mean the conclusion is false, but it hasn’t been proven correctly. A personal caveat I have with this is: very technically, an accusation of Non Sequitur seems as if it could be forced onto explanations to treat them as arguments and “disprove” them. Especially since it is honest tricky sometimes to tell the difference between an explanation and a true argument My basic explanation for why I believe I’m a dragon “I believe I’m a dragon because I identify with dragons more than with humans” doesn’t attempt to prove I’m a dragon. But it could be (and has been ) fit into Non Sequitur: “identifying with dragons doesn’t prove you’re not human, therefore, you are mistaken”.

But a true Non Sequitur:

Wellwort Dragosi: “I’m not human. I’m also not a wolf, or a hawk, or an elephant. This is how I concluded I’m a dragon.”

Wesker T. Skeptic, scratching his head: “Umm, well, great, you’re a dragon. I’m not sure how stating you’re not ‘x’ creature proves you’re ‘y’ creature though.”

Wellwort needs to put a tad more thought into this one ^.^

Against Skeptics:

Skeptics have pointed out that Kin are guilty of Non Sequitur often – and in fact I’ve been accused of it, though I feel it may be misinterpretations of explanations, or perhaps poorly phrased explanations on my part. One thing I suspect is that Kin (and people with empirically unprovable beliefs in general) tend to stretch things too far; perhaps out of desperation to get a point across, or perhaps just from a clumsy attempt to explain something that might not be logically provable.

Wesker T. Skeptic: “So there’ve been dragons on Earth in the past, despite lack of evidence to support it outside of myth. What’s the proof of it?”

Wellwort Dragosi: “Well… dragon myths show up everywhere… so a lot of people were talking about dragons… which must mean there had to be dragons around for so many people to see.”

What Wellwort might be trying to get across here, is an explanation for believing dragons existed on earth; that so many legends appear everywhere, in spite of lack of physical evidence, and the possibility that people simply found a common storytelling device, it’s also possible people may have indeed seen something. This in no way proves that they did, and the evidence could be interpreted to still be heavily against the possibility. But Wellwort has made believing in the possibility a Non Sequitur argument, as if trying to prove that dragons have existed due to the copious amounts of myths about them.

Skepticism is Not Proof

There are many more fallacious arguments that have actually been leveled against Otherkin in the past, as well as ones that -could- be brought to bear. However it should be reinforced that the point being illustrated is not that skepticism is flawed and inapplicable to subjective beliefs such as that a person might have the personality or spirit of a gryphon or a coyote. Rather, skepticism can and often is applied in an incorrect manner for the sake of disproving alone, both from outside and within the Kin community. Or alternately, skepticism may be honest and come from a basically healthy source, but lack the respect necessary to actually allow for real discussion; a mistake many skeptics appear to make with a wide variety of topics… not just Otherkin. Skepticism by itself is not proof that a position may be incorrect… it is the belief that could be is.

And something needs to be pointed out about people who are skeptical. While “Wesker” is used as an example of a person using fallacious logic to apply his skepticism, Wesker by his actions in a way invalidates himself as a true skeptic, period. Those who use false logic attacks frequently do so because they have an agenda; that of winning the argument or proving their position is correct regardless of the cost or even what the actual truth may be. A quote is very relevant here, taken from “Why People Believe Weird Things”, by Michael Shermer, who also happens to be publisher of Skeptic magazine.

What, then, you may ask, does it mean to be a skeptic? Some people believe that skepticism is the rejection of new ideas or, worse, they confuse skeptic with cynic and think that skeptics are a bunch of grumpy curmudgeons unwilling to accept any claim that challenges the status quo. This is wrong. Skepticism is a provisional approach to claims. Skepticism is a method, not a position. Ideally, skeptics do not go into an investigation closed to the possibility that a phenomenon might be real or that a claim might be true.

In point of fact, a conversation with one particular dragon Kin brought up the sentiment that he would greatly enjoy a serious, deep discussion on draconity and otherness with someone who truly understood the beliefs and respected them, but did not agree with them. A debate like that could only serve to improve understanding of both perspectives as well as increase mutual respect. Too many would-be critics however, sadly appear only interested in sniping for the sake of pushing their viewpoint without regard to any possible legitimacy of the other or even interest in what it has to say, and that’s where fallacious logic creeps in.

Some closing remarks:

Some Otherkin have expressed unease at applying skepticism and logic to beliefs such as these. A feeling some have is that these matters are so entirely in the realm of faith and pure instinct that trying to apply logic to them is impossible, and even harmful to one’s mindset as an Otherkin. Treating our beliefs this way however, only opens us up to a very valid criticism; that we’re afraid of examining the validity of our own beliefs for fear that we may find we’re mistaken. And we really don’t want to be mistaken. But, skepticism and logical deduction are our friends; we uphold our beliefs and their integrity by being skeptical and logical toward criticism of ideas that we have found to be true for us as well as using skepticism to police ourselves.

In talking on this entire subject, my sympathies are obviously going to be slanted toward the Kin perspective – because I am one, after all. I could, like some Kin, remove myself entirely from speaking on topics like this and place the subject of my draconity beyond logical deduction, treating it as a matter of pure faith. The reason I don’t is because in my beliefs, draconity is not something irrational or beyond logic or even proof – despite present circumstances not presenting an easy way to prove anything. And because I believe I have a duty to my own self to draconity to examine my own beliefs. And a lot of Kin feel the same way I do.

Of course, it’s perhaps amusing that in the very end, it’s to some degree a matter of faith. If a dragon, in the flesh, suddenly steps upon the face of this world, then the paradigm changes. But until then, this is the way of things. I’m a wacky human who believes he’s a dragon; and that’s not something I’m ashamed to be in the slightest… despite some good attempts to make me and mine feel shame for thinking different.

— Kai

Dictionary

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Index


A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z





 


A


alardan A term taken from a fictional book which means a small gathering the way it is used in the community.

angel One of many types of celestial beings, often considered to be in servitude to a major deity.

angelic A incarnated being which resembles an angel in many ways.

aspected Someone who has a single mind (thought-stream, memory) but “facets” which are quite different in behavior patterns and/or emotional responses. Most people have this to a small degree (a “work” persona and a “home” persona for example), but this is a more extreme variant. Medically, in the extreme end this is classed as ESD (Ego-State Disorder).

Awakening An informal
stage in an individual’s self-actualization. From unaware, mundane and
“asleep” one is “awakened” to some basic truths about oneself, the nature of
people as a whole, or about the laws of nature. For Otherkin, “Awakening” is
almost always used in relation to one’s non-human nature. This term is used by a number of spiritually aware communities (entirely unaffiliated, offsite: Awakening into Awareness, Spiritwalk, Pleidians: Awakening, etc.). [see also
So, You’re Awake?]

D


des’tai A term in one specific remembered-language (Elenari) which means “On one’s (karmic) path.” Used as a blessing. (see offsite article Des’tai at Elenari.net)

Dreaming The world beyond the veils often reached when one is sleeping. A counter-existence to Earth.

F


Faerie The world from which they come (cf Veil and Dreaming)

G


gate Usually used in the otherkin community to describe a magical doorway which allows one to travel into another dimension, universe or reality. Also “Portal”.

glamour A minor, generally illusionary, magic.

H


host A multiple for whom one or more of the other minds in the body were not, under usual circumstances, supposed to be born there. The entities in the body may have been there at birth, or be walk-ins. The original mind may also be a split. [Note: in the DID/split community and a fair amount of the medical references “host” is frequently used to refer either to the birth mind or the “front” or main persona. That is not how it is used with regard to otherkin multiples.]

K


Kella One subrace of elvenkind, with its own language [see also the Kella Language Dictionary]

M


multiple Someone with more than one mind in a single body. Outside the otherkin community it generally refers to a Split.

mundane Simple descriptive term for those with no magickal skills and/or with no awareness of any reality beyond that commonly accepted by modern science. Also used as a pejorative term for those who adamantly deny any other realities, and attempt to belittle those who do explore beyond the boundaries of science. Also dictionary-defined as “ordinary” and “of this world”. Used in other fringe communities to mean different things.

O


otherkin (aka “other” and “kin”) Anyone assuming the identity of not being completely human, in body mind and/or soulAnyone assuming the identity of not being an ordinary (cf. “mundane“) human. Includes, in the broadest sense, aliens, humans from other worlds, furries, vampires, therianthropes (aka werewolves and shapeshifters), etc. Usually used specifically to refer to mythological phenotypes, including (but not limited to) fairies, elves, dragons, merfolk, etc. Does not necessarily include “non-mundane” humans (such as Psis, Mages, SCAdians, etc.). [see also What is an Otherkin and Otherkin FAQ] {also Fairth, Metahuman, Changeling…}

Otherkin Reiki A subset of non-traditional Reiki with a focus on
experimentation, hybridizing with other systems of energy work, individuality
in the use of the energies and implementation processes. Although there are
many people who do not practice Traditional Reiki,
this subgroup has a very heavy Otherkin influence. [For more information see the
Otherkin Reiki pages]

P


Pagan A broad term encompassing a great number of polytheistic and/or earth-based
religions. [more specific subcategories: Druidism, Wicca, Asatru/Odinism, Hellenism, possibly Church of All Worlds,
etc.]

polyamorous (aka “Poly”) Any person assuming the identity of being theoretically open to
responsible non-monogamous relationships (ie. a person likely to choose Polyamory). [see also Polyamory.org]

polyamory (aka “Poly”) The theoretical or actual practice of responsible non-monogamy
ie. where all partners are aware and accepting of their partners’ lifestyle. [see also Polyamory.org]

R


Reiki A popular energy-working system. Includes many techniques for healing both physical and non-physical complaints, and for using various
energies in ritual and distance work. Very generally speaking, one needs to
be initiated to use this system by what practitioners call a Reiki attunement.
[see also Traditional Reiki and Otherkin Reiki]

Reiki attunement (also “Attunement”) A ritualized initiation or introduction into Reiki energies.

remembering Recalling aspects of or events from the past life or lives in which the person was non-human.

S


split Someone who, for whatever reason (but usually severe trauma at an early age) shattered or split into two or more minds (two seems rare, four to six moderately common, and there are cases of over a hundred). In the case of a split, all the minds belong in the body and many choose to reintegrate when the trauma is healed (but not always). In medical parlance this would be DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly known as MPD) or DD-NOS (Dissociative Disorder – Not Otherwise Specified), the latter being used if the person does not fill all the criteria for DID.

T


traditional Reiki A subset of Reiki with a focus on ritual, tradition, history and purity, which excludes experimentation and innovation outside of a certain (often rigid) framework. Generally modified with the name of the tradition in question (eg. Traditional Usui Reiki). [see also
Reiki and Otherkin Reiki]

V


veil The boundary between two overlapping worlds. Dpending on the speaker and the context, may refer to the boundary between: the world of Faerie and Earth; the Dreaming and the waking world; the astral and physical worlds; or any other two places where there is a liminal between them.

W


walk-in A mind/spirit who was not born to the body they are living in, but arrived some time afterwards. At times the walk-in displaces the original spirit, or replaces it when the original has left or spiritually died. This results in a singleton (one mind, one body) who is not native to the body. At other times, the walk-in does not displace but joins the existing entity(s), thus becoming a host.

Annotation for: “What are Otherkin?”

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In a comment on the parent article Petrael said: “From months of research in the Japanese culture I have never found that the Imperial line of Japan claims descent from Dragons. They claim descent from Amaterasu, the Sun Goddess.” The situation is not nearly as simple as it may sound. It’s convoluted in the extreme, but I shall do my best insofar as my knowledge. First and foremost, a minor pet peeve of mine; “dragons” and ‘long'(Chinese) or ‘ryu’ (Japan), are not a huge conglomerative lump, regardless of popular regard. Though they sometimes are used to represent some similar Elemental forces (and even this comparison differs widely upon closer examination), they are not the same creature unless you want to say that they are both mythological beings–and one would not attempt I would hope to confuse a Wyvern with a Satyr, or tell one that they are the same thing, if you catch my meaning. ‘Western’ dragons are by and large potrayed as at least appearing to be almost wholly reptilian, very much in the way that most people have become familiar with them through common fantasy fiction. ‘long/ryu’ have much more varied appearances and qualities–they can be avian, picine, mammalian, and indeterminate variants between the three. The “Eastern” part of the world that actually claims. most commonly, descent from “long” is actually several of the regional rulers (or Emperors) of ancient China (From which the ‘Long’ of the Seas are mythologically derived, amongst other things.) As I understand it, Vietnamese mythology also makes a large claim to descent from dragons, but I am much less familiar with that mythos than that of China or Japan. The descent of the Japanese imperial family from ‘long’-like beings is convoluted but there is some evidence to support it, at least in an artistic and syncretic sense. The prototypical creator and creatrix of the Ni Hon Go (Rising Sun Land) are Izanami (F) and Izanagi (M). As many of the more ‘modern’ Japanese beliefs and images are heavily influenced by or derived from Chinese mythology (Shinto basically being a huge multileveled syncretization between Old Religious Taoism and the Aboriginal Ancestor-Worship practices of the original inhabitants of the Island chain, the Ainu–told you it got complicated), many of the older images of Izanami and Izanagi syncretize them with the ancient Chinese images of the progenitors of the universe- Pan Ku (M) and Nu Wa (F)–both of whom were originally portrayed as “Naga”-like beings–that is, serpentine and/or draconian from the waist down. The concept and imagery of the “Naga” comes from the Hindu-Vedic traditions, which has spawned much of the Taoist pantheon and imagery. (Kuan Yin is in fact a female ‘aspect’ or derivation of the Hindu diety Avalokitesvara [1]–in Japan, she’s Kannon, and it pretty much continues in that vein on many fronts.) In the Vedic traditon, there is little to no distinction made between “Naga” and “Dragon/Long”, and the words are frequently used interchangeably. In fact, many scholars have postulated that the “Dragon Kings Of The Sea” of China are actually descended from the Vedic mythology of the Naga Kings, and there’s a large amount of evidence to support that. (That chunk of mythos, as well as much of that which now supports the belief structure of Feng Shui, appears to have first started appearing in Japan around the Jomon period, but it may well have been earlier, it’s hard to say.) What does this all have to do with Amaterasu and Co.? Well, if one postulates that Izanami and Izanagi are derivations of Pan Ku and Nu Wa (which seems likely as much of Japanese mythology is derived similarly) then Izanami and Izanagi would indeed be considered to be of ‘draconian’ descent, and hence so would their children, among them Amaterasu (From which the Imperial line claims their descent) and Susano (who interestingly enough has many ‘draconian’ and ‘serpentine’ associations himself.) The fact that other associations began to be made with Amaterasu later on (most commonly the Phoenix presently due to the fire association, and interestingly enough also derivative of Chinese mythology in which ‘dragon’ and ‘phoenix’ represent both opposing and sychronous forces–‘yin’ and ‘yang’ if you will, or ‘in’ and ‘yo’ in Japanese) would be a fairly recent (at least in terms of mythology and legends) development, and not wholly representative of the original symbology. Additionally, though the Japanese people as a whole may not claim ‘descent’ from dragons, many of the original ‘uji’ (clans) of Japan (notably pre “Kojiki” and “Nihongi”, both of which are frequently-mangled aggregations of older myths and legends that were highly politicised by the Yamato clan to support their rule) considered many different ‘supernatural beings’ to be their ancestors, before Shinto as it is commonly percieved today, and multiple individual ‘uji’ ritual beliefs and practices were aggregated into what it is now. If you look back far enough this information can be found.


[1] Effectively, when the sanskrit title (Avalokitesvara) is rendered into Chinese, it becomes “Kuan Shih Yin”–“The One Who Hears The Cries Of The World” ( Source: “Kuan Yin: Myths and Prophecies Of The Chinese Goddess Of Compassion”, Martin Palmer and Jay Ramsay with Man Ho Kwok)


What are Otherkin?

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Otherkin is a collective noun for an assortment of people who have come to the somewhat unorthodox, and possibly quite bizarre, conclusion that they identify themselves as being something other than human. It is also the label used by a number of communities both on and off line. (The distinction between the two is not always drawn and can lead to some confusion).

There are a number of ways people reach this conclusion, and a number of possible explanations for it. On the face of it, it is a remarkably difficult conclusion to reach, not only is the evidence scant at best, but to define yourself as not human requires defining what human means – an exercise which philosophers for millennia have failed to complete.

The following is a brief overview of some of the possible explanations.

1 – Appeal to biology

There are a very few people who claim a biological difference from humans. On the face of it this should be the easiest to prove – the biological requirements for species are fairly well defined. Life is rarely that simple and the existence of a subspecies that can occasionally interbreed with humans is at least somewhat plausible. Those that claim this tend to posit an initial technical, magical or deity intervention for the initial pairing. Thus the most frequent (if such a term can be used for such a small sample) such claims are for some form of elves (generally Tuatha de Danaan or Sidhe – for which there is some support in ancient texts), angels (for which there is some biblical support) or oriental dragons (such as the royal line of Japan claims).

To date, the variations encountered (including those unsupported claims made that were not utterly impossible) have been explainable variations and mutations of homo sapiens and unprovable without extensive DNA testing. (For which, if anyone ever volunteers an appropriate lab, there are a number of volunteers).

Those claiming such tend to expect even less belief from the general populace.

2 – Appeal to spirit

By far the most common explanation from those who fit the definition (even if they don’t claim this specific label) is that whilst their physical forms may be human, their essence, soul or equivalent term is not.

Of those, the majority make their claim based on reincarnation – what they have been in a previous incarnation so strongly affects their current incarnation that they still identify with it. Obviously this requires a belief in reincarnation, and in the transmigration of souls. Both are reasonably common in a number of religions and spiritual beliefs across the world.

The less frequent explanations are “nature of soul” (where one is created as a specific entity, but failed to incarnate as such – sometimes including the “ooops! missed!” theory of incarnation), and “walk-in” (where the original spirit inhabiting a body vacated it for one reason or another – frequently near-death or severe trauma – and a separate entity took over).

Obviously this is a lot harder to prove, especially as the evidence for reincarnation itself is rather sparse (some are documented to varying degrees of veracity, such as the Dali Lama and a number of cultural mythologies). It is also more open to both intentional and unintentional abuse (see below).

People in this category sometimes (but by no means always) show signs of maladaption. The two main symptoms appear to be:

  • Problems not dissimilar to trans-gender issues – discomfort with the physical form not because of gender but because of species. This seems to be more common amongst younger people. (Many of the psychological arguments for and against transgender apply here, though for the most part the biological ones do not).
  • Phantom limbs – much as an amputee often gets sensation from the missing limb, so do some who claim species that have appendages that humans do not (wings and tails being the main ones). The conventional explanation for amputees is misfiring nerves and obviously this is implausible in this case. That such problems are psychosomatic seems possible, however some do have physically observable side effects that have to be handled (such as back muscle problems from ‘supporting’ wings).

3 – Appeal to psychology

Another explanation posited is that of using the concept of other species as a tool for self exploration. Thus one is not a member of that species, but takes on the traits of that species to learn from it. This could take the form of (at least the westernised distortion of) Totemic belief, or of Jungian Archetypes.

For the most part those using such techniques deliberately know what it is they are doing and do not claim the label. However, there are many people who have not been introduced to the concepts (or have inaccurate information if they have) and if they should find themselves in the position of having a Totem (if such can happen outside the appropriate culture) they may well mistake the effects as them being that creature rather than having an association with that archetype.

4 – Escapism and mental aberration

The vast majority of people on encountering the concept (and a fair proportion of those who subscribe to it) will favour this explanation – it’s certainly the easiest one. Anyone who has actually claimed a label that fits under the ‘otherkin’ category has seriously considered this option (or should have).

The most frequent accusation is that all otherkin are lost in fantasy, they’ve played one too many D&D games and gone over the edge. Personal study seems to indicate this is actually one of the least frequent explanations. Most roleplayers know they are roleplaying, even if they are also otherkin, and roleplaying can be a very useful tool in self exploration.

Escapism from what is seen as an increasingly hostile and unpleasant culture (especially in the United States) is somewhat more plausible and more common. The irony there is that modern society is becoming increasingly magical – in what other era could you speak instantaneously with someone a thousand miles away with a simple ten digit incantation, see images from the past or distant present or rain fiery death from the skies from half a world away? The potential for being one step further than a mythological SCA is certainly there however.

Not being “like them” is a much more common cause, whether “them” is classmates, family, coworkers or everyone you meet. For some it’s perhaps real – otherkin really *are* different. However the relationship is not reciprocal – being different does not make one otherkin. The alienation that many teenagers go through, both as part of normal human development and the social aberration that many high-schools seem to be, can easily have people looking for an explanation. For some it’s that they are the only goth in a conservative area, others have less obvious affiliation, but take a deep interest in dragons and extrapolate.

The other side of that particular coin is looking around you and seeing the many terrible things that humanity is capable of and deciding that you are not like that and thus cannot possibly be human. (ref “behaviours – differentiation by repudiation”).

There are also those for whom it is simply wish fulfillment – is being an elf not so much better than being Joe Smith who flips burgers at McDonalds?

5 – All of the above

Whilst the above explanations are presented as distinct categories, people do not necessarily fall into only one of them. There are those who claim physical differences, and past lives. There are those who are both in therapy for mental health problems and otherkin (and which is cause and which effect is debatable).

In the end, without further evidence, it comes down to a matter of personal belief. As personal beliefs go, it’s relatively harmless.

[The original version of this page is depreciated, but if you really want to read it, or the comments left on it, it can be found h ere]

So… You’re Awake?

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Q.Why me?
A. There are several theories as to what the fae are, and how they came to be here. In some cases, it seems that the spirit or soul of an individual has lived many times, and at one point inhabited the body of one of the fae. Another opinion is that the fae originated Elsewhere, and arrived in this world through constructs known as Gates, which have been sealed. Memories from the fae lifetime (or lifetimes) tend to manifest in dreams or as things you “just know”.
Q. Does this mean I was switched at birth?
A. Probably not. Being fae, while it can run in families, is not something generally determined by your birth parents. I was born on a military base with all the security that entails. Depite what my parents might wish, we are genetically related.
Q. Am I delusional or am I normal?
A. Not to sound trite, but this depends on your definitions of “delusional” and “normal”. If by “normal” you mean “like everyone else”, then no, you aren’t “normal”, but do you really want to be? I prefer defining “normal” as “being able to function” and “delusional” as “being unable to function.” For example, I believe I am elven. I realize that this isn’t something I should share with the general populace, because it would require too much explanation. For the same reason, I don’t share the fact that I am Pagan with everyone, or the fact that I am a shaman with everyone. I will share it with those that I believe to be accepting. If I were to try and claim “minority benefits” for being elven, they’d probably lock me up. Likewise, if I were to go around in certain outfits on a regular basis, I’d at least get strange looks.
Q. What do you mean “Awakening”?
A. There seem to be three major ways that people Awaken that I have experienced. The first is the “gradual or independent Awakening,” in which the Sleeper feels a certain distance from others, possibly proceeding through religious experimentation, until hopefully they find a supporting circle. These people may or may not be fae themselves, and the Sleeper may in fact not fully think of themselves as “fae.” The second is the “alarm clock Awakening.” This occurs when the Sleeper is exposed to group of Awakened fae and their own nature surges to the front. This can take the form of recognizing a shared memory or even recognizing a person they’ve never met before. The third type is the “snooze alarm Awakening.” In this form, the Sleeper has seen evidence of their nature, but is choosing – conciously or unconciously – to ignore it.
Q. I have a friend that I think is ‘Kin, but sie seems to still be a Sleeper. How should I help hir Awaken?
A.Best bet is – don’t. It could be that they are worried about the reaction of others, or that it’s just too much for them to deal with at the moment. While the temptation is to beat them over the head with it until they “understand”, that really doesn’t accomplish much – especially if they are afraid that this “elf” thing is a fanatic cult. Telling them to “admit it, you’re one of us” is going to send them screaming into the night. By all means, hang around, and answer questions as best you can, but don’t be concerned if they “don’t get it.”
Q. Does this mean I’m going to develop weird allergies?
A. This is an issue that has sparked a lot of debate. Some of my friends say that they have difficulty with iron “due to their nature”. I have never had a problem with iron. I have at least one friend who is a vampire. She has no problem with running water, holy water, loves garlic, and doesn’t mind going out in the sun. It’s entirely possible that some races of fae are susceptible to iron. For those people, the purity of the iron seems to be a factor, as is whether or not it has been worked
Q. Does this mean I have to act in a certain way?
A. Probably not, if you haven’t felt the urge to. Seriously. Not all members of a group behave the same way.
Q. This person I met claims to be a ___. How should I relate to that?
A. Are you asking how you should relate to hir as a ____ or how you should relate to _____ in general? I for one don’t think that one’s heritage necessarily affects that person’s individual worth. If sie seems like a good person to you, proceed as you would with any other relationship. Just because someone is of the same fae heritage as yourself or someone you like doesn’t mean that you and that person will or have to get along. Just because you don’t like someone of a particular fae heritage doesn’t mean that all people of that heritage are “bad”. I have a few friends who can’t stand each other. I interact with them separately, and they understand that I’m not going to take sides. I personally don’t care if someone is Elenari, Draestari, Listari or Calamari as far as that goes. For one thing, I don’t know precisely what my heritage is. I have clear memories of situations, and I know what “my people’s” lifestyle was, but I don’t have a “clan name” for them. For all I know, my people and their people might be the same, or related. For another, like it or not, some of the memories seem to show that the fae came here from Elsewhere. There’s a couple possible reasons – one, we were exiled or two, we were escaping. I’m discounting rumors of world domination because of the fact that the door “back home” is locked. At any rate, there aren’t that many of us, and very few have organized into groups. Taking all that into consideration, fragmenting ourselves further doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.
Q. I don’t have any memories of a fae life. Does that mean I’m not Otherkin?
A. Absolutely not. There are many reasons why people don’t remember other lifetimes. One of the simplest is that this may be their first time around. There are plenty of folk who are either first- or only-timers. Another is that you might not be prepared for remembering. I’ve seen some people try to force themselves into remembering, or even to force others to remember, and it frequently ends up either muddying the waters or even uncovering rememberings that are painful or stressful to deal with.
Q. What about humans?
A. What about them? Seriously, though, you’ll find that there are a few different schools of thought on how fae relate to non-fae. One is that non-fae are somehow inferior. Another is that “after being Awakened for a while, you find non-fae distasteful”. This makes about as much sense as being superior based on hair color. It’s true that finding a supporting circle among non-fae may be difficult, but it is far from impossible.
Q. How do I know I’m really ‘Kin? Could I be fooling myself into believing in this?
A. The fact that you even think about this question shows a healthy attitude. I’ve seen people (both ‘Kin and non-‘Kin) twisting themselves into knots trying to be something they aren’t. One of the better approaches I’ve seen to this question is remembering that words like “elf”, “Otherkin”, “dragon”, etc. are all just labels. As long as a label works for you, then keep it. If you find yourself trying to cram yourself into fitting a label, it isn’t working, and you should probably re-examine why you are trying to keep that label.

Tolerance versus Gullibility: Judging the Validity of Magickal Claims

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We all strive to be open-minded about one another’s beliefs and experiences. This is essential to our community, because we have had to keep an open mind about our own beliefs and experiences in order to accept them as valid and real. Much of what we believe and what forms the foundation of our community’s identity are claims of supernatural or psychic experiences that mainstream culture would simply debunk. Our materialist, scientific society has no room for a sixth sense, let alone a seventh or an eighth, and the empirical rule of science leads most materialists to assert that if you can’t touch it, it isn’t there. So many of the perceptions and sensations that form a vital part of our experiences are subtle and numinous in nature. They cannot be proven in a laboratory. Often, it is hard for us to “prove” them even to ourselves. We simply have to accept that we are not crazy, that these impressions are valid, and that the materialist approach to reality somehow fails to account for a large portion of human experience. Yet this creates a certain amount of credulousness within the community. Since we each have had experiences that the rest of the world would reject as lies or delusion, we are much more likely to listen with a sympathetic ear to someone else’s experiences, no matter how strange they may sound. We are painfully aware of how hard to believe many of our own experiences and beliefs are, especially because we have had to struggle to believe them in the face of a culture that tells us these beliefs *must* be the product of a crazed mind. Obviously, we don’t want to disbelieve another’s claims especially because we want to be believed ourselves. But this can lead us into a dangerous habit of accepting everything that is told to us by others without question, and the sad fact of reality is not everyone who makes an extraordinary claim is telling you the truth. There are quite a number of people who lie and make up tales about their beliefs and experiences. They do this as an attention-getting measure, to make themselves feel powerful and important, or to get you to follow them and accept further stories and orders without question. These are the poseurs and cult-daddies of the scene, and they hurt our community not only by preying upon the innocent and vulnerable, but also by giving the outside world a very negative impression of us.

Developing Sound Judgment

So how do we know when our tolerance has crossed into the realm of gullibility? Whenever someone makes a claim to you of a supernatural belief or experience, listen carefully to what they have to say. See if what they say makes sense based on your own experiences. Even magick functions on universal laws, and although we may not understand all of these laws as of yet, they still seem to hold true in most cases. If what this person has to say is radically different from your own experiences and what you’ve learned of the magickal world, that should set off warning bells in your head. You should not discount their claims just yet — it may simply be that your own experiences are limited and this person is discussing a principle that you have not encountered yet. It’s also possible that some of the beliefs and conclusions you’ve drawn from your own experiences are either wholly or partially wrong. We make as a great a mistake assuming that everything we believe is 100% accurate as when we believe that everything other people tell us is 100% accurate. After analysing what the person has to say, analyse the person himself. How does he act? How does he dress? Does he speak like someone who is reasonably intelligent and well-educated? These might sound like judgments based on superficial things, but the fact of the matter is that mentally unbalanced individuals often demonstrate their problems in their mannerisms, diction, and dress. Not everyone who has a nervous tic is insane, just as not everyone who refuses to look you in the eye is lying to you, but these are good cues to keep in mind when trying to judge someone’s credibility. There are quite a lot of people who our mainstream culture would label depressed or bipolar or delusional who have had very legitimate experiences and who have a lot of insightful and worthwhile things to say. However, you must keep in mind that people with chemical imbalances and unstable personalities cannot always determine the line between reality and imagination, and any of their stories should be especially scrutinized for this reason. After analysing the person, analyse the situation in which you are receiving this information. What could the person’s motivation for speaking with you be? What kind of level of trust has been built up between you? Chances are, the voodoo queen of Wheeling would not come right out and say who she is and what kind of army of zombies she commands to every Tom, Dick, and Harry on the street. Common sense dictates that she’d have to trust you quite a bit to reveal information as sensitive as that, and if you just met someone at a coffee house who makes similarly wild and powerful claims, chances are, they’re telling you a tall tale. If it’s pretty clear that the person making the claim has something to gain from you be very leery of it. But also keep an open mind on what you consider “gain” to be. Not everyone who’s trying to “sell” you something is out for your money. A lot of people are simply motivated by a need to be believed, or they want to get you on their “side” for some imagined conflict. If you thought you left the petty social politics and cliqueishness behind in high school, you’re in for a surprise, because as far as I’ve noticed, those silly social games keep a lot of people occupied well into their 70s. Sex is another basic motivator, and if you’re a pretty young girl (or even a pretty young boy), really keep your eyes open when people start coming up to you and trying to tell you how the universe works. All too often, they’ll wind up trying to teach you tantric sex magick or something similar — the long and the short of it is they want you in their bed.

Educating Yourself

With all these things to watch out for, how can you ever find a teacher or mentor that you can trust? Well, the best approach is to educate yourself. There are a lot more books out there than used to be the case, and with the Internet, a great deal of material is at your very fingertips. Not everything in a book or on a web page is truthful or accurate — just about everyone is trying to sell you something in this day and age. However, if you approach all information cautiously, analyse it carefully in respect to your own experiences, and try to judge the motivations of the writer, you’ll find a lot to teach yourself. Material that you read in a book or on a webpage is a little safer than having someone come up to you and spout off all their vast occult knowledge. For one thing, you can read at your leisure, and if there are claims or references in the work that set off alarm bells for you, you have the additional luxury of being able to research those claims and see what other authorities have to say about them. Also, although part of a writer’s job is to present a convincing argument so you agree with his points, still read material is not nearly as dynamic nor as potentially overwhelming as spoken conversation delivered by a real pro at the debating game. So when you’re just starting out and you’re not sure what to believe or who to believe it from, read, read read! It will give you a great background for later when you are comfortable enough and self-assured enough to tackle face to face conversations with people who may be trying to take advantage of you. For face to face conversations and study, always try to stick with informal study groups where everyone has an equal say. You’ll find that some persons within the group can be considered authorities on certain topics, but as long as they’re not always trying to dictate what others will accept and believe, then they’re the kinds of authorities that will only help you expand your own knowledge. Steer clear of groups or individuals who are “gathering members for a light and darkness war” or who are engaged in “battles on the astral plane” or other such nonsense. These psychic war dialogues are just a very common and dramatic way to pull people into the group, incite them with a purpose, and let them run around as pawns for one or more cultish-type leaders. Also, if someone comes up to you and claims to have information for you because they’ve known you in a past life, try to make certain that you get impressions that reinforce what this individual is saying. That’s another dialogue that I’ve seen misused in groups in the past, and unfortunately many a poor innocent has had her head screwed on backwards with tall tales of a long ago life in a magickal time that’s nothing more than a tale someone was spinning to gain her affection. So, back to tolerance and gullibility. There is nothing wrong with listening to what people have to say. In fact, I encourage everyone to keep an open mind, because we can never be 100% certain that our own beliefs are entirely accurate or well-founded. Even if a person you talk with has beliefs you utterly disagree with, still you’ve learned something in the very act of ordering your thoughts for conversation and comparing your beliefs against their own. Do not, however, believe everything that is told you. This does not mean that you should go around being paranoid of everyone who comes up to you and wants to chat about spiritual things, but you should let wisdom and common sense be your guides. Always analyse what the person is saying to you, analyse the person himself, and analyse the situation and what may be gained from getting you to believe the story. If any of these things set alarm bells off for you, then take what is said with a grain of salt. Feel free to challenge someone’s beliefs that you disagree with — sometimes there’s nothing better than a heated debate on theology! And if they are unwilling to debate or defend their beliefs to you, or to back up their claims with real incidents or examples, then you can probably spend your time more productively with somebody else.

That life isn’t This life

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Something I have observed in a number of communities where reincarnation and conscious memories thereof are accepted is the tendency to confuse last time with this time. This seems to be particularly accute in the otherkin communities where past incarnations become the basis for identity in this one.

Whilst who you were can, and for some people does, have a significant impact on who you are now there can be serious problems with mixing the two. It doesn’t have to be anything particularly psychotic-looking (though I’ve seen a few of those too).

Many people have encountered “elven princess syndrome” wherein someone tries to carry over status from a previous incarnation into this one, but the most common one I see is relationship propogation.

It’s actually a joke in at least some pagan circles, having been overused by somewhat unscrupulous people that “we were lovers in a past life” is a classic bad pickup line. Well maybe we were, but perhaps this life the only interest I have in your genitalia is to tenderly wrap them in a wasps nest.

Part of the point of reincarnating is to be someone different. To do new things, learn new lessons, have new experiences. Not just to replace a worn out body so you can do the horizontal mamba with your dearly departed from. Sometimes that happens, but only because the people you are now are compatible in that way.

To use a personal example, there is someone I know in this lifetime that I have known in others. Yes, she and I have been lovers. We have also killed each other from opposite sides of a vicious genocidal war. Which of those roles should we bring forward into this life? Well, neither, we are not either of those people anymore.

The same can be said for any other trait. If you were a psychopath last life, it doesn’t mean you are now. Nor that you should necessarily wrack yourself with guilt over it. Learn from what you remember, make yourself into a better person. Sometimes the lessons aren’t what you think they are. That’s part of the pleasure of life.

And yes, this applies to species too. Because you were something in a previous lifetime, that does not mean you are that thing now. Maybe there are traits that you can bring forward that assist you in this lifetime too, maybe there are enough traits that you consider yourself the same sort of creature. Maybe not.

If you are going to actively draw traits from the past into the present then choose the ones that benefit you now. Also remember that whilst your affections may have been truely undying, the object of your affections may be learning this life’s lessons from being that psychopath, or simply from loving someone else.

Weres and Therians

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Recently I got into a conversation and an interesting topic came up- Is there a difference between weres and therians? I have to admit it threw me off a bit because I had gone through my otherkinity without considering there to be a difference between weres and therians and then two people presented themselves to me adamantly insisting that there was a difference. At first I didn’t know what to think of it so I told them that as far as I knew there was no difference but I would look into it. That is exactly what I done and that is what this post is about. Throughout this post I will look at the official definitions of weres and therians, the history of weres/ therians, and people personal stances on the subject. I will eventually come to my own decision and hopefully you can come to one as well.

Werewolf originates from werewolf, or translated as human-wolf. Therefore when referring to it in otherkin terms of were(insert animal) it translates directly as human(insert animal). This is a pretty accurate translation to what weres/therians believe they are- humans who are whichever animal they claim to be. Whether they claim this spiritually, mentally, physically etc. they are humans who are those animals in some way. This seemed like a pretty sensible term to use in my opinion because it translates quite accurately into what these animal kin believe.

Therianthropy actually threw me when I first looked at the origins of the term. This is because therianthrope translates as part man part beast. Therian originating from the Greek therion meaning wild animal/beast. Thrope comes from anthropos meaning man but even with this therianthrope translates as wild animal/ beast man. In reality therianthropy is closely related to what our folk lore and movie ideas of werewolves are. Therianthropy can also be applied to the Egyptian Gods who had the heads of animals. Of course in otherkin terms therianthropy refers to the people in our sub-culture who relate themselves spiritually to animals. This is actually the “New-Age” definition of the term therianthropy, its also accepted but, after finding out the words translation, I started to wonder why.

What could be seen from these definitions in my opinion is that they both mean the same general thing although one term is more savage than the other and that term, to my surprise, is therianthropy. But this isn’t what was important in my research, I have found out that the definitions are similar so in that way the differences are quite vast if focusing on the original definitions. However if you look at the term were(insert animal) and the “New-Age” definition of therianthropy they are for the most part the same ideas just rephrased.

When I looked further into the history of weres/therians I found out some interesting information. The actual official start of the were/therians in the otherkin sub-culture originated around 1992 on a Usenet community called alt.horror.werewolves, when some of the users started to claim to be part animal- werewolves etc. Some of them were joking but it was revealed that quite a few were not and thus weres/therians were born. Of course it would have been a lot more gradual than this and no doubt that a lot of people knew of what they were before hand, they may have even clocked the term themselves, but this incident was the biggest that had occurred.

Anyway around about this time most of these animal kin called themselves were(insert animal), this was probably partly due to the fact that it translated well to their beliefs and partly because they had started off on a werewolf site. So when the were/ Therian community first joined the otherkin culture they were mostly going by the term were. So What changed? And why is it that now weres and Therian will sometimes consider themselves different?

After further research I stumbled onto quite a few answers and most of them seemed to make sense. These ideas came from therians and are their personal opinions on the matter so I personally consider them to be quite accurate. After a while of weres being accepted into the otherkin culture there became a problem with the term. Furries Werewolf, Werecat etc. also using the term were to define themselves. This meant that not only were true weres being mistaken for furries as soon as they said what they believed themselves to be but it also meant that they were less openly accepted into the otherkin culture because of this relation with furries. This would be understandably annoying and frustrating for weres, therefore some changed their otherkin definition to therianthrope which, as we have already discovered, are similar terms. There was also the dilemma of being associated with the traditional folk lore werewolf and the movie werewolf when Weres were declaring that they were Were(insert animal), not to mention the medical condition of lycanthropy. Although this was quite easy to overcome in the otherkin community, it made coming out of the kin closet harder. It’s a lot easier to say you’re a Therian then explain the word that your friends have never heard in your own way then say you’re a Were and allow them to have already come up with half of what you are themselves. So this is why therianthropy started being used- it was a word of basically the same definition, it was less commonly used and it was up to the same interpretation with less already assumed about it.

So if Were and Therian relate to the same type of kin then why is there a difference? Well from what I can gather it is all up to personal interpretation. When I asked my partner Grey Wolf if he thought there was a difference and what he considered himself to be he said that he thought there was a difference and he would only ever call himself a Therian and never a Were. This was because, and I quote “I’m not a bi-pedal wolf inside like a werewolf and I don’t physically shift like a werewolf, I’m just a normal wolf inside”. He had take the two words, Werewolf and Wolf-Therian, and made an interpretation of what he thought they meant and then fit himself into what category best suited him according to his personal opinion of the words definitions. There are Weres/Therians out there who will strictly only adhere to one of those labels then there are those who don’t give and damn and will slip in and out of using the labels Were and Therian when describing themselves .

In conclusion Were and Therian can only ever be different in personal opinion. This is because it all depends on how the person who is making the judgement interprets the words “Were” and “Therian” and then interprets whether or not it is important to them, whether there is an acknowledgeable difference or not. Because of this I accept that there is a difference between the terms Were and Therian and that difference is mind set.

Terminology

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Most people use “up” for the same general concept, except for particle physicists for whom “up” is a type of quark (but only when discussing subatomic particles, not when taking the elevator – context is often vital). This is not strange (that’s a different type of quark) but a fairly usual occurance.

In any specialised community words tend to have slightly different meanings than they do in the rest of the world. This can lead to confusion, misunderstanding or merely complete incomprehension.

The otherkin community is no different. “I am an elf” does not generally mean that one just arrived from Middle Earth, have pointed ears and are immortal (unless eaten by orcs). However, as a nascient community, what it *does* mean is still somewhat undefined. As yet there is no equivalent for ‘spin’ to determine which way up to hold your elf…

Coming out of the Wardrobe

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How do I tell someone that I’m Otherkin?

First of all, I’m not one that goes for telling everything about me to random people. True, you may find someone who happens to be a friendly ear, but on the flip side, you can end up getting not-so-friendly reactions as well. The first thing to do is figure out why you need to tell this particular person that you are ‘kin. Are they someone that you are/want to be closer to (good friend, SO, family member, potential lover), so that you feel that they have a need to know about your habits, quirks, and beliefs? Are they someone that you feel may be ‘kin?

In many ways, telling someone that you are ‘kin has parallels with admitting that you follow a non-mainstream religion, or have a different lifestyle than others. At one point the term “coming out of the wardrobe” was suggested, referencing C.S. Lewis’s Narnia series. It’s something that not everyone is going to accept, and frankly, not everyone has to know about. For the moment, I’m going to assume that the person that you wish to tell is someone familiar to you as well as of friendly disposition towards you. (Telling someone who doesn’t like you to begin with equals “giving them ammo” in my book.)

First off, pick your environment if you can. You want this to be as non-threatening as possible – you’re about to mess with their preconceptions. Generally I’d recommend someplace with a casual but not necessarily intimate atmosphere. A quiet walk in the park together, a back-of-the-diner booth, the living room after watching a good video…something along those lines. Another possibility is places where the unusual is almost expected. It can be easier to accept a strange statement in a con-suite or at a Ren-Faire than it is to accept it in the local mall. The key is to put both of you at ease.

The next thing is to test the waters – find out how open the person is to the idea of “people who are something other than 100% human”. If it’s someone that you are moderately close to already, quick scans of their bookshelves can give some insight. So can the kinds of movies that they enjoy. A few topics of conversation that also usually give a good sense of the open mind are SETI, reincarnation, possibilities of alternate timelines, the intelligence of dolphins, that sort of thing.

OK, so now the two of you are happily chatting. If the other person has proved to be open-minded about intelligences other than human, or worlds/timelines where other forms of intelligence exist, or the idea of “coming back” in another form, then you are in good shape. If not, then it is probably a Bad Idea (TM) to go further at this time. Even if they are friendly, you might end up with the label of “nice, but a bit of a nut”. The next step is to open the possibility that you personally think that you – in some part – feel that you are not entirely human.

Quick side-note here – I’m not meaning to imply that being ‘kin is the result of non-human genetic material, misrouted reincarnation, or such. Just that being ‘kin implies in itself that you are somewhat “other”. It could be in body, in spirit, or even in mindset, and doesn’t even preclude that in any of these things you may be at least partially human.

It’s generally a good idea to ease into this gradually. It also depends a lot on your particular ‘kin type. Are you someone who has memories of a past life as something other than human? Do you feel as though your soul is that of a dragon (elf, dryad, were, etc), but had to take an available body? Do you just tend to look at things in a way best described as “outsider” or “observer”? Proceed slowly, don’t give them too much to process at a time. It’s a bit of a stretch for even flexible minds. Let them get used to the idea before giving them more detail, but answer the inevitable questions as honestly as you can.

Find Your Own Truth

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A while back, I changed the tagline on the splash page. I was trying to make a point. Maybe I was too subtle. (What? The font wasn’t big enough?)

Find Your Own Truth.
That means you actually have to look for it.

Seriously look for it.

I can’t tell you where it is. Nor can anyone else. I can’t tell you to read this book and it’ll give you all the answers. Books don’t have answers, not real ones. The best books have questions. I can’t tell you ‘talk to this person, they can tell you what you need to know’. They don’t know either.

Time for an uncomfortable truth.

You don’t know squat.
Worse, you probably don’t even know you don’t know. (How many of you reacted to that statement with outrage or denial?). How do I know you don’t know squat? I don’t know either. Oh, I can pontificate with the best of them. Once you realise you don’t know anything, you realise a few things that really help.

The first one is that no one else knows a damned thing either. Especially they don’t know anything about you. (Except, perhaps that like them, you don’t know squat).

This might seem very defeatist. If no one knows anything, how can you learn? Well, I can’t tell you the answer to that, because like you, I don’t know squat. However if you look at it the right way, it is very liberating. If I don’t know, and you know I don’t know, I can’t manipulate your reality by telling you what it looks like and I can’t manipulate you by telling you what you are. Because you know I don’t know squat and will laugh at me.

Being otherkin is not a religion. There are no sacred texts, there are no leaders, no initiation ceremonies and rarely even any common beliefs. However, it does have some things in common with new religions, before they become wrapped in dogma, liturgy and form, and a few older religions who have clung onto certain aspects of religion. Those forms are Mystery religions. They are mysteries, not because someone with a robe says that certain things cannot be taught to the uninitiated, that outsiders cannot read the holy book. They are mysteries because some things just cannot be taught. The only way to know is to experience it for yourself.

I can’t tell you what you are. I don’t know. I am not you. I cannot experience being you, being all you have been and all you might be. Only you can do that.

The second thing you realise after you accept that you don’t know squat is that you can learn. Everything you do teaches you something. You learn that fire is hot. Sometimes you burn yourselves a few times first. That’s part of the process. It’s alright, because you don’t know squat. Sometimes you can learn things from other people, just remember they don’t know squat either. There are people who walk across burning coals barefoot and are unharmed. They don’t know that fire always burns you, even though people have told them that.

The third thing you realise is that because no one else knows squat either, they can’t validate you. They can’t tell you you are right, because as you already know, they don’t know squat, so how would they know if you are right. This one is harder to deal with. We are raised to put value on other people’s opinions of us. Functioning in a society requires a certain amount of that. There is a difference between respecting another person and letting them define you. It is also liberating.

Which brings us to the realisation that if no one else knows anything about us because they don’t know squat, and I don’t know squat either, the chances are I don’t know anything about me either. So ask yourself, how well do you know yourself. Really. Think about it. How much of what you think, feel and believe is actually what other people think you are, or think you should be? How many of your beliefs are truths, and how many just what you would like them to be? Some of those can be very deep rooted and hard for even the most ardent seeker to see in themselves.

If you’ve gotten this far, let me tell you a story. It’s about myself. I have seen other people say and do similar things, so maybe it is also about you. I wouldn’t know though, I don’t know squat.

I am an elf. I have said that so many times. I have felt that so many times. I experience it. I am an elf.

Actually, I’m not.

I expect a few people who know me are blinking there. Maybe not. I don’t know squat after all.

Over many years I have learned that humans are unpleasent people. They think differently. They hurt each other. They abuse the world they were born into, even though it poisons them to do so. They do not learn, they just inflict their own wounds onto the next generation.

I am an elf. I am not human. NOTNOTNOTNOTNOTNOT!

I spent the last weekend in a place full of humans. They think differently. They hurt each other. Then they appologise. They abuse the world they were born into, because the culture they live in makes it so hard not to. Then they try to change the culture, change themselves. They build, think, feel, love, hate, wound, heal. They try to pass on their gains to the next generation, and the one after that, and the one after that.

They didn’t care that they were different than I. It did not make me a stranger, to be hated or feared. I was welcome to share their food, their land, their sacred spaces.

I am not human, but there is human blood in these veins. I can accept that. It’s alright now.

I am not human.

I do not know what I am.

I am human. I am fae. I am elf. I am demon. I am angel. I am elemental. I am male. I am female. I am balance. I am the inbetween. I am many. I am one. I have lived a thousand lives. I have died a million deaths. I have seen the begining of the universe. I may see the end.

I am unknown.

I am learning.

Of course I could be wrong.

You see, I don’t know squat.

Soul Loss

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“Soul retrieval” is a concept brought by Sandra Ingerman to Core Shamanism as taught by the Foundation for Shamanic Studies, founded by Michael Harner. For more information, please consult The Way of the Shaman by Michael Harner, Soul Retrieval by Sandra Ingerman and The Foundation for Shamanic Studies.

The modern concept of soul retrieval is based on parallels from various shamanic cultures that relate to their concepts of soul essence and soul loss. Like many concepts from other cultures, one must set aside one’s cultural beliefs long enough to grasp the different paradigms. Soul, in this case, is the way those cultures define it. The term “soul” is the closest English approximation of what they conceptualize. This is not the Christian concept of soul (a subtle body part which belongs solely to you and which will pass on into another life), although it has similarities.

Your soul, here, is your essence, a bundle of your spiritual energies. It’s how the “molecules” of your immortal spirit connect to your conscious and physical forms. That connection can be lost. Essence can be lost. Generally it’s lost through anything traumatic. This essence is conscious, and it also can choose to vacate due to difficult situations. This is the concept referred to as “soul loss”.

Repeated oppressions, abuses, brainwashing, and so forth will often result in soul loss. Soul loss often occurs through abuse to a child, for instance, or by abuse from loved ones later in life. Sometimes essence can be frightened out of you for a time by a jolt, a loud sound, an accident, etc. A portion of soul is lost when there is a trauma to the body. When a dearly loved person dies, sometimes a part of your essence tries to follow them.

When soul loss occurs, the essence generally goes out of body and finds a place and/or time in the otherworld(s) where it feels safe. Occasionally it torments itself by finding a place in the otherworld to get stuck in the very situation which made it abandon the body. It can’t get out of this time-loop, and needs help to realize that the situation is ended/over and it is safe to come home. Rarely, it tries to follow someone else around, either on this world, or into the afterlife.

If you lose all of this essence, it is thought that you die. Your immortal spirit is no longer connected to your physical form. There is no more essence of life in your body. Loss of much of your essence can lead to disease and disability (and thus possibly eventually death anyways), or to feeling like you’re not whole, like there’s a part of you that is missing and that there is something or someone out there that can fulfill you. Sometimes soul loss contributes to psychological illnesses. Often we seek out other people to fill this empty space, but sometimes it’s our own essence that was lost and is missed.

In our culture, soul loss is occurring to various people all the time. Thankfully, sometimes the parts return spontaneously after time (after illness, grief, periods of withdrawal, etc.). However, most people are walking around missing portions (sometimes very generous portions) of their essence, partially because there is a lack of persons trained to note when loss has occurred and return the essence to the body.

Shamans whose cultures use this paradigm generally recognize the symptoms, or know the events in the lives of tribemates. They know when there is a portion of essence that must be returned to the body lest illness should result. A soul retrieval in a case where loss is known to have occurred generally takes place within 3 days of the loss, to prevent development of weakness and illness due to the loss of essence.

In the Core Shamanic teachings, soul retrieval is done during a shamanic journey to the otherworlds. The shaman enters a trance state and goes out of body to hunt down portions of your essence. If you’ve experienced multiple soul losses in your life (most of us have), then the shaman may bring back more than one piece of soul. Sometimes additional soul retrieval journeys must be performed several weeks later, after the new pieces are settled in.

People who are new to this paradigm may be helped by having the entire physical process explained to them, along with the subjective experiences of the shaman during the soul retrieval.

The shaman enters the trance state using whatever method works best for them: singing, movement and dance, calling on their spirit helpers, chanting, playing drums or rattles, using a journeying tape, etc. By the time the shaman lays down next to you, generally touching at arms and legs, they are in a nonordinary state of consciousness.

In the otherworld, while the shaman’s body lays still beside you, the shaman requests the presence of a trusted guide for the journey. They ask the guide to take them to a portion of your soul which is ready to come home. “Ready” is relative to both you in the body and the soul part lost; if you or it are not ready to be reunited, that part will not be retrieved. On some occasions, the spirit guide may say “not right now, this person isn’t ready”.

The guide brings the shaman to the area, or gives directions or hints to find the piece. Sometimes the shaman must put their own essence at risk for you; it’s their job, and the lost soul part realizes how important coming home is, if someone is willing to be hurt to get them. Sometimes it takes some convincing to get the soul part to come home. Whatever the shaman can do, they will, on your behalf. It’s part of their calling as a shaman and a healer. Every soul retrieval is unique.

The retrieval itself probably takes about thirty minutes or so. All you must do is lay still, be present in your body, and truly welcome back the lost parts. It helps a lot to be ready for the unexpected.

The shaman will return your essence to your body, usually by blowing it into your heart chakra, then guiding you to sit up and blow it into your crown chakra. They will perhaps shake a rattle around you or dance around you to seal the essence in your body so that it does not get lost before it is integrated. They may hand you a crystal that they kept with them on the journey to help your returned soul essence to feel at home. They may sing to you or tell you a story afterwards, while they shaman is still in the trance state. Then the retrieval is technically over, and the shaman may come out of nonordinary reality to speak with you.

Generally the shaman will tell you some portion of their journey, asking if anything is relevant. Sometimes they see the events that lost that portion of spiritual essence. Sometimes they don’t. Whatever you are told, it’s your job to listen at that point, and to come away feeling love for the hurt part of you that tried to run away to protect itself. Generally it needs tender loving care, nurturing, and acceptance.

As your life situation improves (whether through soul retrievals or just your own work on your life, in spite of having not had soul retrievals), it might become more common for soul parts to return spontaneously as portions of your essence are convinced that your life has improved, and that they’re honestly wanted back. Some pieces still might be stuck and blind to your current circumstances, and the shaman becomes the intermediary to explain to them that it’s time to come home. Often you can’t do this for yourself, as you yourself are sometimes part of what scares the soul part.

Having friends and family around who honestly want you to be and feel more whole, who honestly love you (all of you, even parts that aren’t home right now), can be extremely helpful in a soul retrieval.

I believe that soul loss and soul retrieval are important concepts for the Otherkin community to consider, between all the awesome memories that we recover, some of us being walk-ins, hosts, multiples, splits, and so on. It is quite likely that soul retrieval may be a very viable healing modality for our community.

Soulbonds

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These days, you see a lot of people looking for someone who is ‘everything they need’, and using terms like soulmate, or soulbonded. You see it in the personals section. You see it in movies. You’ve probably heard it from some of your friends.

So what is a soulbonded or soulmate, anyway?

To most of modern America, it basically is a glamorous word for Ms./Mr. Right, imbued with a strong emotional context.

To people who study metaphysics, it means something entirely different: it means someone with whom you tend to reincarnate time after time, helping each other learn lessons. In extreme cases, it can even go to the extent of having agreed to permanently share soul development.

That may sound like a romanticized version of marriage, but the reality is often far from romantic. Soul relationships are usually about personal and spiritual development, so they are often among the most trying and difficult relationships that you can have. Soul relationships aren’t always romantic or erotic, either.

People who’ve deeply studied metaphysics, magic, psi, or any other esoteric art come to realize that there are many ways in which people can be ‘connected’ to each other, and that many of those connections can create a deep sense of closeness that can easily be mistaken for a soulbond or soulmate relationship. Those connections can be very deep and fulfilling, so they can form either the basis of a strong relationship, or a deep enhancement to an existing relationship. In a “good” relationship they can be wonderful. Unfortunately, in a not-so-good relationship, they can be very unpleasant.

Below are some overview descriptions of types of connections, links. and bonds that I have observed or experienced.


Empathic

Most empaths have the ability to link to someone, and to deepen a link into a bond.When an empath is linked to someone, they can easily “reach out” and feel the one to whom they are linked, and then know how that one feels, emotionally and physically, and sometimes even perceive what they are doing. When a link deepens to a bond, the empath doesn’t even have to “reach”; it is as if the other person is constantly standing right next to the empath.

A mistake that some empaths make is bonding to someone, and thinking that it will go both ways. If the other person isn’t also an empath, or if the other person isn’t strongly attached to the empath, then they probably won’t form a bond back to the empath. Those situations can easily lead to a frustrating relationship where the empath who bonded feels everything that goes on with their partner, but the partner doesn’t feel what is going on with the empath.

Empathic connections can be removed or severed, although breaking an empathic bond can be both difficult and physically debilitating, as well as emotionally painful and possibly damaging. Breaking a link isn’t as hard, nor as traumatic. In either case, you do need to monitor yourself to make certain that the connection isn’t reforming. In either case you might want to spend time with someone you care about for a while. It has taken me a few weeks to recover from severing some deep empathic bonds.

Death/reincarnation normally severs empathic bonds. That is one factor in the trauma that some individuals experience when a loved one passes on.


Energetic

People who do chi, chakra, or Tantra work sometimes learn that one’s energy centers can be linked to those of another person. That provides a closeness and a sense of awareness of the energetic state of the other person, and an energetic interaction that can be quite ecstatic in certain situations.These types of links are often transitory, but much like empathic connections they can be extended into a quasi-permanent link, and be deepened into a bond. An energetic link that is maintained allows closeness and energetic awareness at will, and one that has been deepened to a bond allows one to be constantly aware of the other person’s energetic state, without effort.

It is possible to have a one-way connection to someone else’s energetic system. That can happen when the other person doesn’t have the proper training, if the other person has some kind of energetic or emotional blockage, or if the other person isn’t willing to make that type of connection. One-way energetic connections of this type can be energetically, emotionally, or even physically painful.

Energetic connections can be broken or severed. A link is easier to sever than a bond, and the results are less traumatic. Severing an energetic bond can destabilize your energetic system, so be prepared and careful when attempting that. Energetic links and bonds can reform, so it is a good idea to monitor one’s energetic system for several days after severing a connection, and to monitor one’s energetic system on a periodic basis.

Energetic connections are normally severed by death and reincarnation. Again, this is a factor in the trauma that some individuals experience when a loved one passes on.


Soulspace

People who do a lot of metaphysical/soul/spirit work learn to find a place inside themselves where this incarnation connects to the greater self. In the tradition where I learned this, that place is called a SoulSpace.Those who work with such places find that there can be a connection between SoulSpaces, allowing one to reach directly from one’s SoulSpace to the SoulSpace of another person. These connections completely bypass “normal” reality, because SoulSpaces don’t really quite exist in physical reality. These connections can be temporary or long-term, and can deepen significantly if both so choose.

Having a SoulSpace connection allows one a lot of the same closeness as an empathic connection, but also allows one to reach directly into the other person’s SoulSpace. It allows reaching across distance easily. In some cases, it can lead to a constant sense of the inner state of each other. That can cause disharmony and disquiet if the other person doesn’t want your presence.

I haven’t personally experienced a SoulSpace connection being severed, so I don’t know what the results would be. I would anticipate some pain and possible trauma. Like other types of connections, I would expect that SoulSpace connections could reform over time if that is not prevented.

This type of connection does survive bodily death, although one does tend to “forget” the connection and not be aware of it after reincarnating. Awareness may be prompted by meeting the other person, or may be prompted by an inner awareness that the other person has incarnated, even though you haven’t encountered them, and won’t for years.

Being incarnated while having a SoulSpace connection from a prior life sometimes leads to a sense of incompleteness, of looking for someone else. This is often mistaken for a romantic attachment – which may or may not be correct. This is one of the types of connections that is sometimes called a soulmate or soulbond connection.


SoulSpace Fragments

People who work with SoulSpaces can learn to form bonds by either fusing and/or exchanging pieces of their inner self. That often takes the form of a living “being” that normally inhabits their own SoulSpace being placed into the SoulSpace of the other person.This is not something I would recommend, in general, because of the repercussions that are possible. It is something I would only recommend if studying under a tradition where that type of thing is taught. Even if you are, it is still something which I would recommend rethinking at least twice, and checking with one’s sense of the cosmic Dance. It can be Really Bad in some cases. It can be Really Good in some cases. But it is always Really Risky.

Having this type of connection allows the same type of closeness as a SoulSpace connection, but you don’t have to reach into the other person, because a part of you is always there. You can be instantly aware of the inner state of the other person, unless they somehow block information from getting to that part of you. This can be done both ways. Only having it set up one way can be emotionally disturbing and painful.

This type of connection can be broken. The results can be quite traumatic. I had one of these which was severed after being in existence for 18 months. I lost a lot of memory of those 18 months, including magical and professional skills which I literally had to relearn as though I had never known them. I also went through severe emotional and physical trauma. My recommendation: don’t go there.

These connections also last past death, although I suspect that they are largely “forgotten” when reincarnating, as with a normal SoulSpace connection.

Incarnating with this type of connection from a prior life sometimes leads to a sense of incompleteness, of looking for someone else. This can be mistaken for a romantic attachment – which may or may not be correct. This is one of the types of connections that is sometimes called a soulmate or soulbond connection.


Twin soul

Souls can also “split” into two or more parts, and if those parts are well developed enough to continue to exist independently, they can go on as separate souls, incarnating down through the ages. That is what some people call “twin flames” or “twin souls”. Some souls do this more than once, creating more than two individual parts of the original soul.Such twin souls have the sense of connectedness and awareness available from a SoulSpace connection, but to a greater degree of depth. These connections often seem to be impossible to close down or sever. There can be a significant pull to be together, although that is not always the result.

These connections also last past death, but are, at least sometimes, “forgotten” when reincarnating. Even when “forgotten”, the individual may be aware that something or someone is missing.

This type of connection is often mistaken for a romantic attachment – which may or may not be correct. Because Twin Souls have chosen different developmental paths, they may be incompatible as romantic partners, even though they may feel an intense pull to be together romantically. This is one of the types of connections that is called a soulmate or soulbond connection.


Created Soul Bond

Initially separate souls also seem to be able to choose to be joined. Once this happens, those souls tend to incarnate together. They share soul development, and both have to learn lessons to progress. It is possible that some cases identified as “twin souls” are actually this type.These connections cause much of the same sense of connectedness and awareness common to Twin Souls, although there seems to be a greater drive to be together, to live as a partnership.

These connections seem impossible to close down or sever. The main drawback that I’ve seen is that neither person is happy unless the other person is incarnated with them.

These connections last past death, and although the connection may be forgotten, the person will feel incomplete and will be “seeking” until they find their partner.

This is one of the types of connections that is called a soulmate or soulbonded. It may be the only one that consistently leads to *successful* romantic partnerships.


Soul Mates

Souls can also be drawn together by “karma” or “destiny” – by either choices or obligations to one another, or by proximity in the greater Dance. This is not Karma in the way that some people think of “paybacks”; rather, it is about internal balance and development. It can also be a perceived or actual obligation to help someone work through something, or a need to resolve personal baggage related to interactions in other lives. It can also be a draw formed not by direct interaction with someone else, but by interaction with a pattern that also moves other individuals, so that one encounters those other individuals, even though there is no direct connection.When one of these interactions exists, someone comes into your life for a reason. That reason may be for only an event, or for a series of events, or for most or all of your life. Sometimes these individuals may be relatives or even siblings. Sometimes they may be friends, sometimes lovers. They are often assumed to be romantic, although that is not necessarily correct. The interaction is there to help one or both of you learn specific things, or deal with specific things, or because you are both moving with specific patterns.

There is nothing to sever to stop these interactions, as it isn’t a direct connection, but a flowing-together in patterns. In the case of past life baggage that needs to be cleared, clearing that baggage and moving forward will eliminate that cause for the relationship to exist. In the other cases, there may or may not be any actions that would eliminate the cause for the interaction.

These interactions are for one or more lifetimes, and the awareness of them may or may not exist until meeting the other person. Sometimes not even then.

This is the type of interaction that many metaphysicians call Soul Mates.


Species Resonance

Among non-human reincarnates, one of the more common experiences is the pull towards someone with a similar non-human nature. This does vary from species to species, so it isn’t universal. For example, it does seem more common among some of the Elf and Elf-like species, and somewhat less common among some of the Faerie and Dragon species.The pull of species resonance can feel like other types of connections, and for some species does provide a sense of closeness similar to empathic or soulmate connections. For some species, it can generate a sense of Need for the presence of others of that species (elves seem particularly prone to this, although it is stronger in some species than in others).

This type of attraction can easily be confused with romantic attraction, unless one is observant and careful. It can also serve as an enhancement to other types of attraction.

There really is no way to close down or sever species resonance, as it isn’t a connection, but rather a similarity of nature.

Species resonance can last across reincarnation, although the strength will vary with the amount of manifestation of that nature. For example, someone who has a touch of elf but isn’t manifesting it strongly this lifetime may not feel any species resonance for elves, while someone who is strongly manifesting Elf almost certainly will experience species resonance towards others who are strongly manifesting Elf. The strength of the resonance also varies with the similarity of the individuals’ non-human natures. For example, those who were elves of similar nature/origin will tend to be more strongly drawn to each other than to elves of different nature/origin.

For those who experience strong species resonance, not being able to be with others of their type can be disturbing; it can generate a constant awareness of unfulfilled need. In severe cases, unfulfilled species resonance can be a factor that affects emotional stability. Individuals who experience this should take care to maintain inner stability.


Caveats:
One caution that I would give is that anyone who is desperately seeking to create any of the above types of connections probably has some unresolved issues about needing someone else that they really should resolve before pursuing a deep relationship. I’ve seen some attempt to decide who their “soulmate” or “soulbonded” will be. That normally isn’t the kind of thing one can decide. Normally either such a connection exists, or it doesn’t. If it doesn’t, then seeking it probably indicates a problem on the part of the seeker.My experience is that some types of connections happen naturally over time when one is in the right place at the right time. Learning to follow one’s heart (not mind, not emotions) and learning to Dance the greater Dance – those will result in being in the right place at the right time, more and more often as one progresses. That will naturally result in some of these types of connections forming, when it is right for them to do so.

Also, remember that we get handed lessons in life. Some of those lessons are really hard for us – things that we often would rather walk away from. When there is a lesson that we won’t hang around to learn any other way, there is often a “hook” added to make sure that we do stick around to learn the lesson. Quite often, that hook can take the form of a relationship. Usually, the most intense relationships are there because someone needs to learn something and won’t any other way: either us, or the other person, or both.

So be careful of wanting the hook. You can learn a lot, and it may be wonderful for some of it, but it can hurt… a lot, sometimes.

 

Considerations:
I hope that these descriptions help people – help them to be aware of what they are doing, help them to not be looking at a glamorous image that isn’t true, and help them to be able to use words/terms that accurately describe what they have found.It isn’t always easy to tell what kind of connection one has. The reason that I can see the difference between these types of connections is because I’ve experienced all but one of them, and I’ve been able to see that one in contrast to what I have experienced.

I think a lot of people call a relationship a soulmate or a soulbond because that relationship is the deepest relationship that they have experienced, and they are trying to find a way to express what they feel. That’s understandable, and hopefully these terms will provide a way for some of those relationships to be more accurately understood and described.

You don’t have to be “bonded” to have a deep and meaningful relationship with someone. If you find a really good relationship, and you both are on some type of inner growth path, then you will probably find yourself developing one of the above connections over time – possibly more than one.

Just make sure that you find a good relationship *first*, and let the rest work itself out. 🙂

What is Real — The Symbol and the Thing

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Everything is real.. but people mistake their illusions for reality.

When you ask most people “Which is more real, an object or its shadow?” Most people will automatically say that the object is real and the shadow is not. Upon further inspection one will realize that the shadow really is there too, and is no less ‘real’ than the object. I speculate the confusion comes because people can see the distinction between a shadow and its related object, and see the shadow as just an ‘image’ of the ‘real’ object. They are seeing a thing and a bad copy of it (which is not the thing), and therefore “must not be real.” Either that, or they only think of material objects as being real.

For the last several years my axioms for determining if something “exists” were the following:

1. If it can be directly perceived by the five senses (smell, sight, sound, taste, etc.)

2. If it can be directly perceived by the five senses augmented by scientific instruments (microscope, telescope, particle accelerator, etc.)

3. If it affects something else that can be perceived by 1. and 2.

So basically, invisible, silent, odorless, massless things that don’t affect anything else can (for all practical purposes) be placed in the category of “does not exist.” All things in this category are indistinguishable from one another.

Now these axioms seem to be very restrictive at first, but #3 allows much room for invisible things that affect visible things. This is how I can consider emotions to be real, since they observably affect how people interact with the rest of the observable world.

Now, what do I mean by ‘illusions’? The way I’d always thought of the mind as operating was that it receives sensory input, finds patterns in it, and assigns symbols to those patterns.

Suppose you look outside your window and (hypothetically) see several cars. You call each car a “Car”. However each of these cars are probably different from one another in many ways. So how do they all have the same name “Car” when they’re all different?

If you take a car and replace one part of the car with a new replacement part, then do you still have the same car as you had before? What happens when you continue to replace one part after another, one at a time, until every single part of the original car has been replaced? Do you still have the original car?

If you take the car apart into its discrete components, it’s not a car anymore, but a pile of car parts. Where did the car go? Did it go to a car heaven?

The way I think of it is this: The ‘mind’ (let’s assume it exists for the moment) draws little dotted lines around portions of sensory input and gives them symbolic names. So by drawing the lines differently you can get “two halves of a car” or “a pile of atoms” or include the occupants of the car and the ground the car rests on as all one thing.

The thing is.. this “Car” or “pile of atoms” is an illusion. There is something real out there, but it’s not “pile of car parts”, or any of the other possible symbols.

When I say that people are looking at illusions, I mean that they are mistaking their model of reality for reality itself.

The snake eating it’s own tail….

This is something I’ve devoted considerable thought to:

Goedel’s Incompleteness Theorem states that in any formal system complex enough to include arithmetic, there are certain statements that cannot be determined to be true or false from within the rules of that system. The result is that you are able to create statements like “This statement is false.”

Generally, the statements that cause problems are self-referential, or refer to themselves indirectly though other statements.

It occurred to me that the human mind can hold thoughts such as “This statement is false” without blowing up and saying “does not compute.” Therefore, it is running on some other kind of system. I think (and “I” is an entirely different discussion) that the mind itself is a feedback loop. Whenever you think a thought, you hear the output of your last thought, and you think of something based on that, which feeds into your next thought, etc. etc. Try to shut up the voice in your head and see how hard it is.

Feedback loops form the core of many dynamic (chaotic) systems and fractal geometry. Basically the way the math works is you repeat a function over and over again on the output from the last step. The values will either get closer and closer to one number, or bounce back and forth between two values, or four.. but at a certain point they become completely chaotic – unpredictable. In the regions of chaos, you can find certain values that once again bounce between three, or six, or whatever values. So you have order leading to chaos and chaos leading to order. (but of course order and chaos are only illusions, and are the same thing in reality)

Small changes in initial conditions will also give rise to radically divergent behavior in these systems. These sets tend to be self-similar on many scales.. so a small part of the set looks like the whole, and vice versa.

When you look at the world around you, (and you’ve been doing a lot of work with fractal geometry), you’ll see that almost everything in nature is a fractal or chaotic/dynamic system.

The turbulence in circulating fluids, predator/prey population models, meteorological forecasts, the three-body problem, cell growth in plants, etc. etc., are all chaotic/dynamic systems. If you look at the EEG of a conscious person, it looks similar to a graph of the stock market, or a cross section of a mountain range. There are many repeating patterns, but it’s in general unpredictable. If you look at the EEG of someone who’s stoned, or having a seizure, the pattern is a nice orderly sine wave. Order = no thought.

When you say “I” it is the symbol that your mind calls itself. It’s another recursive feedback loop. It too is an illusion (see above) but what is left there when you take away the symbol “I”?

As an Engineer I started to drive myself crazy trying to rationalize the universe (going around and around in circles). It was very hard for me to accept it but, reality isn’t logical (A=A, etc.) It’s a snake eating it’s own tail.

Shadows: A Guide

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Introduction

One thing clear from the start. “Shadow” is a broad term. An almost insanely broad term. Many people will try to claim truths about shadows that simply don’t take this into account – “truths” like no shadow can astral project, that spines and protrubrances on a shadow’s body show rank. Taken in context such claims are ridiculous. Saying “no shadow can astral project” isn’t just like saying no human can astral project . . . it’s like saying no human, elf, dragon, therian, cat, dog, or any physical entity can astral project. Trying to make claims about rank in shadows isn’t just like saying pips on a soldier’s uniform show rank . . . it’s saying that pips on a soldier’s uniform show rank not just to other soldiers, not just to other people in his country, not just to other people on his planet, but to every fleshy being on every world in every dimension. It just doesn’t make sense.

“Shadow”, as used in the otherkin, metaphysical, and spiritual communities, simply means an entity who is entirely or primarily made of darkness or dark energy. That’s all. There are certainly groups of shadows who are similar in nature, but what is true for one of them is not necessarily true for any others – just like what is true for a cat on Earth is not necessarily true for an elf on Fae. Please keep that in mind as you read through this article – if information seems vague or very generalised, that’s because it is.

Types of Shadows

Shadows come in just as many shapes and sizes as physical entities. There are tiny, semi-sentient blobs of shadow energy sometimes known as “remoras” because of their habit of following bigger shadows around. There are vast, ancient, godlike shadows it’s just about impossible to understand. And somewhere in the middle, there are the ones sometimes called “shadow people”: about the same mental and spiritual size and level as a human.

The vast, vast majority of shadows seem to exist in their natural state – that is, without physical bodies. Just as humans live in the physical, shadows tend to exist in non-physical realms. What you call these places is down to your personal belief system. I think of them as shadow realms, or pocket dimensions of the astral.

My experience of these realms is as follows, but as with most things, your mileage may vary: they are entirely black, but the darkness has texture and thickness. Moving is like a cross between swimming and ice skating. There is no sight as such, just a clear awareness of who and what is where.

Shadow Reproduction

Where do baby shadows come from? Speaking from experience, they coalesce. Shadow energy clumps together – either of its own accord or with the influence of someone else – and forms more complex units. Remoras form out of the more intense clumps. Remoras can gather energy and grow into human-sized entities, break down into smaller units, or just stay as they are. A conscious, sentient shadow could theoretically gather as much energy as possible into itself in order to become more powerful, though I don’t personally know any who did that. Human-sized shadows aren’t generally “born” as baby that would inevitably grow to be adults – they usually gradually formed out of random shadow energy.

(For those worried about being eaten by a shadow – don’t be. Humans are carbon-based lifeforms, and they need carbon and related elements to grow. Shadows are darkness-based, and that’s what they need to grow. Eating a human’s energy would be no more useful to most shadows, than eating a lump of iron is to you.)

As a direct consequence of that, the concept of racial traits does not apply very well to shadows. Physical entities have racial and species traits because they pass on characteristics to their offspring through DNA. Shadows don’t seem to reproduce like this. Rather than thinking of shadows as humans who just happen to me made of dark energy, think of shadows as hurricanes that just happen to be sentient – similar atmospheric conditions lead to similar weather patterns; it’s not that a hurricane has parents and children. Likewise, similar energetic conditions lead to similar shadow entities coming into being.

The one proviso is that the big, godlike shadows all seem to be very, very old (as much as age can be said to have a meaning on the astral). One possible explanation for this is that long ago, they absorbed most of the free shadow energy, and now there simply isn’t enough for a shadow to grow much bigger than human-sized. Another possibility is that they intervene somehow to keep other shadows small.

Characteristics of Shadow Energy

Okay, here’s the meat of this article: what shadow energy actually feels like.

The most obvious and important characteristic is that it’s dark. Very, very, very dark. Other entities, when they do energy work, tend to draw in light energy by instinct – not so with shadows. Other entities tend to have auras that glow – not shadows, who feel more like black holes.

The second characteristic of shadow energy is that it does not interact well with other kinds. You know all those guided meditations that instruct you to bring light or golden energy into yourself? If a shadow does this, usually the best that will happen is nothing – and it’s likely that the shadow will feel extremely ill. Note that few shadows do much light energy work. It’s a bit like being a teenager experimenting with alcohol – if you get very sick and hungover from just a few drinks, without the fun side effects, then you probably won’t do much drinking.

This energetic clash works both ways. Most non-shadows react even worse to shadow energy than shadows react to light – perhaps because shadows who interact with the physical are constantly exposed to conflicting energies, whereas other entities experience shadow much less often. I know of people who have given a shadow a gentle but unexpected energetic probe, only to be rewarded with an energy backlash that gave them migraines. Almost all people associate shadow energy with death, and almost all non-shadows have an intense fear reaction when they encounter shadow energy – the purer and further from physical, the worse the effect. This is another good way of identifying shadows: if you probe something, and your reaction is to want to run and hide, it’s probably a shadow. If not, it’s probably just an entity cloaking itself in darkness, or an entity you can’t see properly.

The third characteristic of shadow energy is that it’s hard to see and sense. Unless there is close contact, it does not feel like a glow or presence so much as an absence of energy – so it can be easy for shadows to be missed completely. Often when shadows are seen, it’s only for a split second – seeing a shadow causes people to look harder (as seeing anything unusual does), which in turn makes it more difficult to see the subtle.

Finally, shadow energy tends to be very strongly shielded. I am yet to meet a sentient shadow that did not have formidable shields around every aspect of its being. This has both positive and negative aspects for a shadow. On the plus side, attacks of any kind (not just energetic, but also emotional and intellectual) tend to have a very hard time getting through – shadows feel safe. On the other hand, it can be like living inside a concrete bunker, cut off from the rest of the world. It’s positive and negative for everyone else, too – shadow shields mean they aren’t spilling their energy everywhere, which would be very damaging; but they also make it difficult for physical entities to make any kind of contact with them.

Characteristics of Shadow Behaviour

I’m reluctant to discuss this, because it seems absurd to talk about the characteristic behavior of such a diverse group. That said, there are two things in particular that seem far more common in shadows than other entities.

Firstly, shadows are protective. They seem inclined to guard things, and are inclined to look at things in their lives from the perspective of guarding. On the other side of the coin, it’s shadow mentality to kill half a planet in order to “protect” the other half. Protection, being a guardian, is neither a good nor bad thing: of itself, it is entirely neutral.

Secondly, shadows do not play well with others. It’s strange, but I am yet to meet two shadows who can get along with each other for a substantial amount of time. At the extreme, shadows have been known to spend almost ridiculous amounts of time and energy taunting, torturing, or otherwise fighting with each other.

Bump In The Night

Just as physical beings can project to the astral, non-physical beings can visit the physical. Usually, when a human sees a shadow this is why. Some people like to claim vast otherworldly conspiracies of evil are the reason for shadow people sightings, but this seems unlikely to me because like I said, shadows don’t exactly work well together – and second of all, there isn’t really anything on the physical that the average shadow would want to take over. Some people claim such shadows are vampires of some kind that attack humans, but again I find this unlikely – shadow dimensions on the astral are so full of intense energy that coming to Earth for a snack would be like leaving a feast for a small portion of McDonald’s fries.

In general, I think the two main reasons why shadows visit Earth are the same two reasons why humans visit the astral – curiosity, and accident. Just as humans can drift into the astral while they sleep, shadows can drift onto the physical without really being aware of it – a shadow who doesn’t seem to be interacting at all, but rather minding its own business, possibly doesn’t even know anyone else is aware of it. As for curiosity – humans are pretty fascinating things, especially to non-physical entities made out of darkness. Following a strange human around can have that same “wow” factor to a shadow as a human trying to channel a spirit.

Given the generally frightening appearance of shadows, and given that the energy does not react well with others, an intense fear reaction is common in humans. It’s natural to assume, when faced with a strange creature that terrifies you, that you are in danger or that creature means you harm. Try to remember that usually, that is not the case. When you look over the edge of a tall building, you might be scared of falling – but the building itself does not mean to harm you. When you see a spider or snake unexpectedly, you might feel fear – but the spider or snake probably has no interest in you at all. Fear is the mind’s way of telling you to be cautious: and if you aren’t experienced with shadows, caution is wise. Fear doesn’t tell you anything about the shadow’s intent – it only tells you to play safe.

Communication With Shadows

If a shadow is around you, especially if it is bothering you, communication is almost always the best answer. Remember, chances are, unless you’re waking up screaming every night with nightmares too horrendous to properly describe, unless you’re shaking constantly from head to foot, unless it feels like there’s a darkness in the back of your head that you want to physically cut out . . . chances are the shadow isn’t actually trying to hurt you. If a shadow wants to hurt you, then either it’s weak enough that it won’t be a problem, or it’s strong enough that you’ll know about it 100% for sure 🙂

In communicating with shadows, there are several things to remember.

The first point applies generally to non-physical organisms, and that is on the whole they don’t have verbal language. There are exceptions, of course – but in my experience verbal language is usually the domain of physical beings who need to use sound to convey signals.

Some will be able to understand if you say “hello” – but if you’re trying to communicate with someone who speaks another Earthly language, then learning the basics of it makes life much easier. In France, you try for “bonjour” instead. With every shadow I have met, the basics of communication is directed, selective empathy. So, rather than saying “hello”, you focus on the concept of non-hostile greetings, and direct it towards who you want to communicate with: you use their language.

The further you get away from words the higher your chances of success. Focus on the meaning, not the way you would, on Earth, convey that meaning – same as if you are dancing, you move your feet – you don’t think of which muscle to contract.

Directing the greeting at a specific shadow is fairly easy. If you know the individual and can identify a specific feeling you associate with it, then focus on that feeling while you focus on the message. To non-physical entities who do not have verbal names, focussing hard on the way they “feel” is the equivalent of yelling their name at the top of your lungs. If the shadow is actually nearby, and you can point and say, “Yeah, it’s in that corner” then add direction to the mix. In that case, you end up focussing on a thought of: (friendly greetings) + (personal identity) + (physical place).

Closing your eyes and turning out the lights will also likely help, as shadows in general are not very fond of light of any kind.

If the shadow you are trying to communicate with is around a lot, I would say there is a good chance that it will work and it will either get freaked out and leave, or try to communicate right back at you. If it starts communicating with you, expect to be aware of unfamiliar emotions, intuitions, images, and ideas. Basically anything turning up in your head that seems alien or not yours.

From that point, you can continue in exactly the same way – you connect a concept of a message, which could be (curiosity as to your reason for being here), or could be (request that you leave), or (desire to learn more about you), or anything at all, to a concept of identity, and focus on directing the message outward.

If you get no response after a reasonable number of attempts, then you will probably want to broadcast a bit louder. That is just a case of using whatever meditation practice you prefer and repeating the above – as meditation can have the effect of moving you away from your physical body, and thus closer to non-physical levels.

I will emphasise again that for most people, shadow energy is uncomfortable and possibly dangerous. A non-shadow probably does not want to get too close to a shadow through empathic communication, at least until the shadow is known well. Unless you’re a shadow yourself or have a lot of experience working with shadows, before you try talking to any, you will want to shield as heavily as you can. You can gradually reduce the level of shielding you use, but just for the sake of caution, it’s best to start out safe.

Interaction of Shadow and Physical

Something I haven’t mentioned so far is the concept of otherkin shadows. Essentially, an otherkin shadow is a person with a shadow soul, shadow energy signature, or shadow “essence” (however you choose to understand the term) who is living in a physical body. Unlike many otherkin, they do not only claim otherness thanks to a previous life: they are shadow now. They were shadow when they were born into their current physical bodies.

As well as shadows who inhabit a physical body, there are also people who can be considered shadows by virtue of being “shadow touched” at some point in their life (whether this life or a previous one). Shadow energy can alter the energy of people around it; think of it like living in another country for so long that you pick up the local accent. Because shadows are defined by energy and not culture or homeworld, all it takes for someone to be shadow is for their energy to be shadow.

There seem to be relatively few people here on Earth who consider themselves “pure” shadows, and about the same amount again (or perhaps more) who are to some extent shadow-touched.

A Final Word of Caution

Don’t believe everything you read. Question everything. If you find a resource claiming definitive information on shadows, claiming to define all shadows, or claiming anything that doesn’t take into account the huge variety of shadow beings, take care and analyse it carefully. If the author claims special knowledge or a senior position, be double careful. If something doesn’t make sense, it almost certainly isn’t true . . . and the above applies just as much to this article, as to any other.

The Shadow of Honor

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I was talking with Ashran the other night about something that is an extension of the “women are evil, men are stupid” philosophy that Graves came up with a while ago. It’s led to the realization that some people are living in the shadow of honor (which led to an interesting side discussion of the shadow of awareness).

Ashran was commenting to me that, in his experience, there’s a difference in how women and men view their own reasoning in handling decision-making. I personally am not sure that it’s a hard-and-fast line drawn between the genders, but I think that for the majority of my experience, this generalization works. The theory is that when making a decision that puts the self before others, however right wrong or sideways, women tend to realize they are making a “selfish” decision and go with that. Men, on the other hand, avoid letting themselves realize when they are doing something for themselves, painting the action as really being for someone else, or being because of <insert justification here>.

Now, of course, not all people do this intentionally or maliciously, but it does lead to a big difference in handling making a “selfish” decision. For instance, say that a person has borrowed a book from a friend and that friend wants the book back. Say that person doesn’t want to give the book back because they aren’t done with it. Going with this theory, a woman in that situation might think that simply she was not ready to give the book back (for whatever reason, maybe she’s not done with it yet). A man in that situation might make it out (to himself) to be a matter of selflessness (maybe he can’t give the book back yet because he’s not done helping someone else).

Here’s some other practical examples:

If someone wants to hold onto a relationship:
Woman: It would hurt me too much to leave
Man: It would hurt her too much if I left her

If someone wants to help someone out:
Woman: I want to help this person
Man: This person needs my help
(subtle, but different)

If someone loses their temper: Woman: I yelled at him because I was pissed off Man: I wouldn’t have yelled if she didn’t piss me off

The point of the story here is that whenever we place “responsibility” or the reason for an action on someone else, we’re not taking personal responsibility for that action. Other people may factor into the decision, but ultimately that decision is made by the person making it. By saying you’re doing something for someone else, when the reason deep down inside is because of our own wants, we potentially create the facade of nobility which overlays selfishness (again, “selfish” is not necessarily bad, just not the same as “altruistic”).

This can lead to differences in how we’re viewed when making a “selfish” decision. A person who is honest about why they are making the decision might have a better chance of being viewed as “selfish”, whereas a person who makes the decision out to be for the benefit of others might have a better chance of being viewed as “a nice, giving person” or “victim” (depending on the situation). It is pretty simple to do something for one’s own benefit and make it seem like it was for someone else’s benefit. Again, most peope don’t do this intentionally. What determines the difference between selfishness and altruism is both intention and how much that decision affects one personally. The difference between someone who is selfish or altruistic by nature is how much they are willing to give of what they have on a regular basis even if it affects them or inconveniences them.

For instance, supposing I go out to dinner with someone and I can’t finish my food. Offering that food to my friend isn’t really altruistic, I wasn’t going to eat it anyway. It’s something that benefits my friend but doesn’t really inconvenience me. On the other hand, supposing that this same friend wants to go out to dinner with me but doesn’t have the money. If I pay for hir, that’s money out of my pocket, and an inconvenience. (It gets more complicated if I do it for other reasons that are more self-serving, but I think the point is made.) If I regularly do things for others that don’t inconvenience myself, I can present the front of of altruism, however true or false. However, if I am not willing to do things for others that inconvenience myself, I’m not really altruistic. Similarly, if I am honorable only when it’s in my best interest, that’s not real honor; that is the shadow of honor. It is a facade with no substance behind it.

So, to wrap this ramble up, it’s possible to present the front of something, yet live in it’s shadow and not actually live that thing. It’s the difference between superficially doing something or paying lip service to it and really living it, really making it a part of one’s self. And it gets back to personal responsibility. If I’m honest with myself about what I’m doing and why, then I can consciously make the choice of when to be selfish, when to be selfless, whether I’m going to be honorable or not, etc. If I never examine my motives and actions, it’s much easier to fool myself and others into believing something is “me” when it’s only on the surface, and much easier to think of myself as a more selfless/honorable/whatever person than my actions would attest to.

To tie this back into the original point, it’s real easy to kid yourself and say you’re doing something for somone else’s benefit, even if you are the one that wants that thing. This isn’t really selflessness; this isn’t really honor. It’s living in the shadow of honor. I think that if one wants to live honorably and intentionally, it’s critical to know one’s motives. It’s critical to understand and accept how one’s self as well as others are affected by each action one takes, and take responsibility for the action and the intentions behind it.

The Shadow of Awareness

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So then Ashran and I got talking about people who aren’t really mundane but aren’t really Awake either. Either they never fully Awoke or were Awake and growing once and slipped into sleepishness; either way, they are acting like they are Awake on the surface, but aren’t really Awake.

Newagers who pay lip service to the things they read but never really live the wonderful “revelations” they talk about are one big example. They are people who are living in the shadow of spiritual growth, talking about theories of growth but never even meditating 5 minutes a day.

Similarly, there are people who are living in other shadows, of Awakening, of living magically, living intentionally, etc. For instance, I can talk about being a magical being all day, but I’m not really a magical being if I’m not living as one, if I’m not acting and living like my intentions shape my reality. If I talk about how magical I am but I never really do anything magical, then I’m only living in the shadow of magic, and not really living the magic.

Just as a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, it seems almost worse to me to live in the shadow of something than not to live in it at all. For one thing, it’s dishonesty to one’s self and to others. Take someone that’s mundane. They are living a mundane life. It may not be my own life choice, but it’s theirs; it’s more honest, in a way, than someone who lives mundanely and sadly thinks it’s magical, or someone who thinks they are being magical or deep or Aware but is really just spewing some cool catch phrases and cliches, or doing what the rest of the Sleepers are doing but with different terminology.

A cell phone, e-mail address and bumper sticker that says “elfy chick” does not make me an elf. OK?

For instance, I’ve listened to stoner friends-of-friends go on about their latest deep discoveries and whatnot. Sometimes they make sense and sometimes they don’t and sometimes they are just full of it. A couple of them really think they are on a path of growth and development when in reality their life hasn’t gone anywhere in 2 years. They are stagnating, but really think they are growing and discovering new things. They are living in the shadow of growth.

Or what about the people who think of themeselves as magical beings whose idea of living magically consists of a few tattoos, some face glitter and talking about how many Dieities / historical figures / Great and Mystical Beings they have talked to / pissed off / been? (How to Be a Hip Mystic: spell everything abnormally and wear lots of face glitter.) Or the people who get all the right tools (day planner with moons and stars, polished brass cauldron, cool black knife, etc.) and say all the cool magyckal phrases and know all the Otherkyn places, but don’t really flow/do/participate in any magic? I knew a guy once who was fascinated by the various correlations between astrology, numerology and Hebrew letters in ceremonial magic but hadn’t ever cast a circle. They are living in the shadow of magic.

And some of them are like a kid who comes up to you with a dead cat and says “Fluffy is just sleeping”. It makes you really sad, and you hate to break it to the child that the cat isn’t sleeping, it’s ceased to be a cat. You know it will make them cry, but isn’t it better than letting that child believe that tomorrow Fluffy will be able to play again? The only problem with people living in the shadow of something is that they don’t want to see that they are stagnating, their magic is decaying, their illusions aren’t real, etc. etc., and some of them get rather nasty when you suggest maybe they look at what they are saying against the reality. Or worse, they suggest the cat really is just sleeping, and really it’s going to wake up Any Time Now or was moving when you weren’t looking.

I think it boils down to living honestly, even if living without is better and healthier in my eyes than pretending to live.

Sensing

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Every so often, conversations drift to the topic of people’s energetics. Sometimes it’s in reference to interpreting trueforms, sometimes it’s in reference to recognizing a potential lover/clanmate/etc. The energetics of individual people will react differently to each observer, sometimes manifesting as “that certain something” that causes the observed individual to be identified in a particular way (friend, lover, enemy, elf, dragon, etc.).

For one reason or another, many people use the terms “to See” or “Seeing” to describe how they interpret someone’s energetics. This puts certain preconceptions on how energetics are experienced. As a result, some people get the impression that because they don’t get a quasi-visual impression of something, they aren’t able to interpret other people’s energetics, or that this whole “energetics” thing doesn’t exist. As a “mundane” example, I have a friend named Gus who’s red/green colorblind, and he denies the existence of purple. Anything that other people call purple gets mashed into being either pink or blue. As a result, he “can’t see purple” because “it doesn’t exist”.

During one such conversation, I got a flash of how sensing energetics might be just as varied as sensing physical things. (I note that some of the weres and furries describe things as having “scent”.) Maybe for one person the “certain something” translates as a particular shade of blue, but for another person the “certain something” doesn’t necessarily translate as a different shade (like yellow), but as a texture. For still another, it comes through as a sound.

None of them can necessarily explain to the others what the “something” is, because while the “seer” sees two people’s energies as being clashingly different colors, the “singer” may hear their energies as being different but harmonious melodies on the same instrument. And the “feeler” may look at the other two and say “You’re both wrong, those two people both have the exact same feel as raw silk.”

I don’t See often. Sometimes something manifests strongly enough that I can’t help but See, but usually I sense in some other way. At the moment, I can’t describe even what it’s close to resembling. A small portion of my brain is arguing that it would be like trying to describe Liszt’s “Liebestraum, Nottorno #3” to someone who was born deaf. Or purple to my friend Gus.

Experimental Role Playing as a Means of Self Discovery

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I got into a discussion a while back with someone who was wondering about ways to see if his feelings of being a Dragon were correct or if he was just fooling himself. This eventually lead to conversations about “role-playing” as a means of “trying it on for size.” This person wasn’t sure if he understood the definition of role-playing in the context under discussion and so asked if I could give an example of what I meant. This is what I came up with:

In this case, I guess you could look at it as a very intense round of “let’s pretend.” Like you were in a play where you “really” get into the mind of your character. You study everything you can about who your character is, where he comes from, what his background is, what his beliefs are. That way you can base your actions accordingly, you actually “become” the character for the duration of the play. “Method acting” is a form of this type of role-playing. This is also used in some forms of religious ritual drama where one takes on the characteristics of a deity or epic hero. In modern Pagan circles, one of the most common examples of this would be the rite of “Drawing Down the Moon.” If done correctly this can, and should, eventually lead to the priestess actually taking on the characteristics and some of the abilities of her Goddess for a period of time… becoming in effect an Avatar. (cf. Law of Identification )

Using role-playing in the context of OtherKin-ness it can help a person to determine if their suspicions about being a Dragon (or a Gryphon, or an Elf, or whatever) are correct. It might go something like this…

He studies the various myths and legends of Dragons from as many sources as he can find and he talks to people who are convinced about the truth of their own draconity. (With the advent of the internet, this isn’t as difficult as it may sound… check places online such as draconic.com various newsgroups such as alt.fan.dragons, and the myriad of email lists on Yahoo and other such hosting services) ) He looks for common themes, beliefs and patterns of behavior. Asks people what being a Dragon means to them and how they view the world, etc. He checks out people’s web sites for what they list as Draconic characteristics. Once he gets to a point where he feels he has enough information to have a pretty accurate sense of the most common aspects which define what a Dragon is as far as mental, spiritual, and psychological characteristics go, he can then compare those to what he knows of himself. (Remember we are looking for “similarities,” not necessarily exact matches.)

Okay, now he looks at those characteristics that he couldn’t find a comparison to within his own mental make up. Something like, let’s say, feeling the urge to hunt by taking to the air. Why didn’t he find a similar urge in his own characteristics? It could be several possible reasons such as:

  1. He didn’t find it because he simply doesn’t have that urge (maybe he’s an aquatic Dragon), or
  2. It’s not something he ever tried to fully understand or identify before, or
  3. He’s not a Dragon after all.

The question now is which one of those possibilities may be correct. This is where role-playing comes in, and there are several ways to do it. My favorite way is to write a “first-person” story about it… something like:

“I awoke as the warmth of the morning sun fell across my face. I wasn’t ready to get up, preferring to lounge a while longer, but the sudden rumbling of my stomach reminded me it had been several days since I had last eaten. So I rose slowly to my haunches and stretched my wings to their fullest, giving them a few gentle flaps to get the circulation going. As I wandered down to the stream to quench my thirst, I became aware of the bellowing of wild bulls challenging one another over position within the herd. Once again my stomach grumbled it’s desire to be filled. It had been a long time since I had hunted wild cattle, and the thought of a herd so close made my mouth water. In eager anticipation I spread my wings and took to the sky…”

He would then describe in as great detail as possible the events of the hunt, feeling every nuance as if it were an accurate accounting of a past hunt, as if it were a memory. He shouldn’t worry if the words or style of the story is “pretty,” just if the feelings of the story seem real, or if they were simply words on a page. Can he actually “feel” the wind under his wings? Can he feel the muscles of his back and chest respond to the movement of his wings? Can he feel the moment of impact when he catches his prey, taste the salty warmth of the flesh as he satisfies his hunger? Basically, does he get a sense of “writing from experience,” or does it just seem like something he’s making up? To better understand the difference between the two, first he might write an account of a real life experience that affected him strongly, paying attention to what it feels like to “relive” that experience through writing about it. *Then* write the hunting story and see if he gets the same sense of reliving the experience or not.

Now, is this kind of role-playing a foolproof means of discovering the truth about whether or not someone is a Dragon? No, it’s not. It’s just a tool one can try to help gain some insight, maybe help him/her at least determine if s/he is on the right track. But it does follow some of the modern interpretations/theories on how magic has been observed to operate. (cf. Laws of Magic )

Role-playing can also help you to better understand what your “true form” looks like. I’m going to be talking about Dragons here, but this can be just as effective for other types of ‘Kin as well.

To try and nail down what your physical characteristics might be, look at as many different pictures of Dragons as you can find and “try on” different variations of what you feel your basic shape to be. Start at the top of your head and work your way down. Maybe do something like this: Add horns you your head… does that “feel” right, almost but not quite, does it feel too heavy, or just plain wrong? If it feels right, the your form has horns. If it’s close but not quite, try changing the shape, number and/or placement until it does feel right. If it feels “too heavy,” make them smaller or thinner. If they just feel wrong, the you probably don’t have horns. A lot if Dragons don’t. How about head fins like this? Or a protective head plate like this. In your mind, “try on” one or the other or both. See is either one or the other or both click.

Do you have visible ears that you can move? Try wiggling them. Can’t do it? Then you either don’t have visible ears or you don’t have ears you can move. If you can, try and get a feel for their shape. Reach up and “touch” them do they feel like a horse’s ears? A cat? Are they on top of your head on the side? Do they seem as if they would look like this?

You get the idea… It can take time for you to get the “feel” of each body part, but it’s a lot easier and will usually yield quicker results to work on one part at a time than to try and uncover the feel of your entire body at once, which can prove distracting. As you progress, trying I.D. more about one part of your form may trigger a memory of something else. If that happens, go with it and come back to the other part later. I suggested starting at the top of you head and working down because it’s a nice logical place *to* start, but follow you instincts and go where they tell you.

You can do the same thing for figuring out what sort of environment you lived in. Many times that will be reflected in what type of environment you feel drawn to in your present life. You have a yen for the desert even though you’ve never been to one? Do you look at polar ice flows and feel a vague sense of nostalgia? Does the idea of stalking deer through dense forests make you go “Oh yeah!”? How about diving under water an chasing fish for supper?

The thing with all of this, though is to be patient with yourself and don’t push too hard. If it seems you are having trouble leave off for a while and concentrate on something else. You can always come back to it later… it’s not like it’s going to go anywhere :}

Role-playing is scoffed at by many today in the OtherKin communities who see it solely as “outsiders” poking fun of something they take very seriously. I think this is wrong… and unfortunate. Role-playing as a means of spiritual exploration has been around far longer than role-playing as a means of entertainment as used in such “old fashioned” games as Dungeons and Dragons or its modern online equivalents such as EverQuest, Diablo II, Dark Age of Camelot, or what have you.

Rather than being decried, I think role-playing should be embraced by the OtherKin communities as a means of helping the newly Awakened to discover more about themselves and their spiritual heritage. It should be reclaimed as the valuable working tool it started out as. But that’s just one Dragon’s opinion… and everyone is free to take it for what it’s worth.

The Perils of Remembering

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First, you will know sorrow. And not just any sorrow, but the longing sorrow that comes with unfulfillment. Your soul will recall things that not even you can name, and it will want them back again. Sometimes, the old ways becomes an addiction, with all the problems an addiction brings: estrangement, loneliness, craving, even ruthlessness and double-dealing. Oh yes, double-dealing can be one of the first symptoms.

Other times, the past brings fear. Fear can be one of the worst things, in my opinion, having seen so many truly talented people stifle themselves and hide out of fear. Could they have been something great? Did they have a destiny to claim? Oh, most assuredly. We all have our destinies. The world can never know just how wonderful the fearful’s destiny was, because he chose not to claim it and he stagnated.

Most times, though, you will forget to look for joy. There are happy memories as well as sad, yet most people, myself included, seem to hover over the dark and still thoughts. The emotions connected with these are much stronger, this is true. But joy also has the power to bring forth tears. To keep perspective, one has to remember to search for such memories alongside the bad ones.

Second, you will know confusion. The human brain, for all its wonderful complexities, is also short-circuited. One watches Star Wars and they want so much to be like Luke that they fabricate memories for themselves. The human brain has this power; it is a protection device. And there are a lot of things in this crazy world to be protected from, even yourself.

It begins with the longing, the wishing, and then the deep soul-searching until “memories” spring forth. (I was there, George Lucas must be Otherkin, how else could he get the ways of the Force so accurately? I had a teacher just like Kenobi…) It is true there are a lot of creators who may “remember”. But most times they’ll take one memory, one fragment of a spark, and build their entire tale around it. In the telling, details change to become bigger and brighter and bolder. This phenomenon can be illustrated in the old gossip game where everyone sits in a circle and a statement is whispered in someone’s ear. The whisper-recipient then whispers it to another, then the statement is whispered to another, until the final player recites out loud what he was told. Rarely is the statement accurately passed around. This is what happens during the creative process.

Confusion can be just as dangerous as addiction. One should take their memories slowly, very very slowly, and watch their step. One step too far and you might topple into the abyss, into insanity, and only mighty strength can pull you back out again. Then you will know the pain of sorrow again, for you must damn what you remembered and start from scratch. You must be careful what you read and watch and think, for any of those might be false.

Third, and finally, you will know change. They say change is a good thing. Most times, your heart would argue with that. When lovers part forever, that is change and it brings pain and sadness, even if that relationship was bad and breaking up is the good way. It is so with anything else. Your baby turns one, you’re happy and sad. After all, although your child is healthy and growing up strong as he should, he is no longer your tiny infant to suckle at your breast. There has been a gradual change, and it has brought both happiness and sadness.

Remembering brings about changes in personality, perspective and environment. Once, you were timid. Then, you remembered squelching mighty armadas under your technological thumb. Something inside you clicks; you change, you revert. The next person who harrasses you suddenly experiences surprise: you punch his nose.

Perspective is affected in the same moment. You once saw yourself as bottom wolf, as the titmouse to hide from the owls. Now you know you were once an owl, the pack leader, and you are driven to command that power again. You see the world as your oyster, and you want pearls.

Environment tumbles in after. Pearls are riches. What is around you, your environment, is no longer adequate. You begin to change things to suit yourself. Sometimes it comes in small ways: the planting of a special tree or moving closer to the forest. Other times, it comes in tragic ways: you leave your spouse, you homeschool your children, you run for President.

And all the world is affected. It can be in an obvious or hidden manner. Obvious: the book you write, the people you contact through the e-list you’ve begun, those who follow you faithfully into Waco. Hidden: the influential person you support, the canvas you colored and gave to the rich plantation owner, the insane babble spouted across the board, ignored by most.

The world cannot help this. We are all in a helpless circle.

In conclusion, beware the perils of remembering. It is a blackberry-brambled path. You’re going to be nicked and are bound to bleed. You run the chance of being scarred, or your skin becoming too tough to absorb the next lesson. Learn to not skirt these dangers, but look through them and find the berries they protect. Sometimes they can be sour; many times they can be sweet. All will be earned in the right way, and it will be worth it.

Remembering – When Waking up hurts

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(For Rialian, who always was a godsblasted catalyst)

I suppose I should start this off with an introduction. Hi, I’m Tirani. I’ve been Otherkin snice I was about three or so, and have walked lots of different paths in the intervining years, and learned lots of things. Until two months ago, much of my self-identity was based in a strong seelie sidhe aspect that was very active in my magikal and mundane world. Then something triggered a change – a shift in the currents that surrounded my life, to use Rialian’s turn of phrase. My astral form shifted to one I did not recognize and could not control. I lost touch with the part of me that I had known since before I could read. Nightmares that I had always had intesified and darkened. I stopped being able to sleep at night and started going just a little bit mad. I started feeling emotions and had thoughts that were nearly alien to me and my usual thought-processes. Then someone sugguested that I was re-Awakening. That’s when I started writing. It kept me sane enough to work through this. Below is the record of what I wrote and the feelings and thoughts that can sometimes come with a traumatic Awakening.

I’m no psychologist. I can’t tell you the best way to handle someone who’s been through a traumatic expreince, other than be gentle, love them, keep the lights low and don’t make any sudden moves. I can tell you that most ‘kin who have to wake up this way tend to need a little more love than most, and a gentle arm to put around their real-world shoulders when they need to talk out or work out or cry out the pain that can come. If you’re comfortable with it, encourage them to talk, or write, or rant and rave. The more it gets out of their system, the more they can start living again.

It should be noted that most Awakenings are not traumatic at all. Most of the time they’re a little scary, but more from a “who the hell am I turning into?” point of view rather than an “ohfuckohfuckohfuck” aspect. Sometimes, through, it can hurt, and it can take months or years to deal with the psychological scar tissue. This re-Awakening happened almost three months ago [as of June 2000], and only now can I bring myself to finish this and write out what happened the final night I worked through this. I still haven’t figured out all the niceities of this new form. I still haven’t figured out what it is. But I don’t twitch anymore when I think about what I remember. And I’m learning to fly again with these new wings.

What is writen below may be disturbing to some. Please keep in mind that this was a stream-of-consciousness-type writing from someone who, at the time, was going a little mad.

Bliss, Blessings and a little love,

Alyannael Shadowalker



remembering 2:51 AM 3/12/00

i don’t know what ri did last night, but it broke open something. a gate, a doorway, a wall that was holding back this. i’m almost wishing he hadn’t. these new wings, they’re heavey, a weight on me. i’m aware of them all the time, and they’re like something that’s tugging at me, forcing me to a place i couldn’t go before and I don’t want to go now. this new awakinging is somethign that i didn’t see coming, it’s something that’s either going to be really really good or really fucking bad.

my raven totem has been around constanly since last night, watching, perching, always in the corner of my eye. i wonder if SHe saw this coming and that’s why she sent me her dark messenger. i haven’t had a change to talk to him, or the others, and i don’t know what they’ll say. i can already feel Ra’rok pulling away, and it’s scaring me as he chose me, not the other way around. the brush of phantom fur assures me that ba’teth still walks at my side, but he’s silent. that scares me too. he’s my voice of sanity half the time, chasing the dreams away if he can.

i close my eyes to sleep tonight curled up with the others and all i can see is blood. blood and there’s rage, and pain and a sorrow so deep it makes me shake and I don’t know what it’s coming from. there’s a creavice somewhere in my soul now and it’s all pouring from it. this is different from the dreams, this is a memory. of what, I don’t know, of who, i don’t know. this isn’t tirani and this isn’t kitten and this isn’t ME. or at least what I thought was me until last night.

I refuse to entertian for a SECOND the idea that I might be Fallen, especially coming so soon after the big long debate on the list about them and Lulu and other’s insistance that they can’t inhabit a human body. I’d love to be able to talk to Ri’s friend that he holds authoratavive on the Fallen, because he might be able to tell me. Gods I don’t want to beleive that I was ever Yahew’s. never in the lives that I can remember did I belong to him and the ones i did i probably don’t remember for a reason, as they were probably dull and mundane and pointless. i respect christians, but I don’t have much respect for their god of death and devine suffering. I’d much rather beleive that the gods don’t wnat us to suffer unless it’s to learn. I’d much rather give my love and my joy and my pleasure as joyful open sacrifices.

two weeks then i can get away. two weeks, then I can find the answers in the forests of the peaks. two weeks and I can walk in the woods and talk to my goddess where i love her the best in the light of the sun and the smell of the trees and the brightness of spring tide come again. i don’t know if i can make it two weeks with these memories flooding at me everytime i stop and don’t think about my lovers or my job or what i need to get done now.

the worst part is i can feel part of my fae soul quieting, like it’s not quite there anymore. like it’s fading in the face of this new revalation. i can’t even force manifest the fae wings right at the moment. i can’t decide if that’s the worst of all becuase it’s something that’s been a part of me for years. something that i relied on and defined me within myself.

i do’nt fucking know and I can’t even talk to phril about it because ‘he doesn’t beleive in faeries’. the one i talk to the most, and i can’t tell him.


remembering 11:18 PM 3/12/00

napped today because i was just that exhausted. slept about an hour. then i woke up and tried to go back to sleep. then it started again.

I saw a little more. started with a falling feeling, like a free fall and then an impact. it hurt alot. lifed my head and looked around. i could see blood every where. in puddle on the ground, on the bodys of those around me, falling like rain from the sky. my wings were burning. my gods it hurt. i was physically clawing at my pillow it hurt so badly. i had a sword in my hand, it was made of something i couldn’t identify. looking up i could see others in the same form in the sky, flying, fighting burning like i was. around me were bodies of ones like me, dead and cold. they were my brothers and sisters. i raised the sword and screamed because my wings wouldn’t work and i couldn’t take off again to rejoin the fight. looking behind me i can see one is at a nasty angle, with bone poking through the flesh.

i clawed awake, scaring the hell out of phril and nearly screaming.


remembering 12:27 PM 3/14/00

observatons, so far, on this new form. The body is alot like the fae one I had. astrally it’s slim, very angular, and very very pale. the skin is so pale there’s almost a blue cast to it. the hands and arms are slender as well, with elongated fingers, four and a thumb. the legs, like the arms, are slim and slightly enlongated, and there’s a more pronounced, almost clawlike heel, with normal porportioned toes. the body has a kind of wiry strength to it. The face is like the body, very angular, but not so as to be unattractive. The cheek bones are pronounced, and the ears are upswept. the eyes are violet, so dark as to be almost purple. the hair is a silvery-moonlight grey, falling to just above the shoulders (about what I have physically now). the mouth is small, and well formed, but like the rest of the form it’s very very pale.

the most striking part is the wings. they’re angelic in form, maybe a touch more angular, and jet black. they shed consantly on the astral, but never go bald. They’re about a foot taller than the form, peaking when they’re folded against the back, and drop down until they’re about 4″ from brushing the floor. All this is subjective, given how fluid distance and size in the astral can be. Across the right (my right) wing is a scar from being broken a long time ago.

there are something like arm gaurds on the forearm in a material I can’t identify, kind of a silverly-black material. set into them are blue-green stones, kind of like laborite with a more pronounced blue flash. there’s an arm band of some kind with a design I can’t quite make out on my left arm, with three feathers dangling from it. One, the largest, is white, the middle, smallest, is black, and the last is blood red, medium sized between the other two. On my right hand is a fingerless glove of a kind, made of a mesh of the unidenitifed material. I carry my sword in my left hand. Set in the back of the glove is the same kind of symbol as the arm band, but I can’t quite make it out as before. over the right shoulder is a protector of sorts, kinda like the shoulder armour of the gaurdian chick in Heavey metal. the strap from it comes down around under the left breast and secures in the back. the material it’s made of is soft as down, but virtirually uncutable, and a blue-ish black. I have no clue what it is. Around the waist is a belt of leather and that cloth, with the sword’s sheath hanging from it. The sheath is black leatehr lined with metal, and tooled with a pattern I can’t make out. There’s another band around the right leg above the knee, tied of the same cloth material, with a pattern woven into it, and it fairly glows with energy. hell, every bit of adornment on this figure glows fairly well. Attached to the band of cloth is a sheath with about a 6″ dagger in it. The leather is black, and tooled intricately. the handle of the dagger is strickly plain, made of the same odd metal with a leather wrap. If I draw it, light casts off it bright as day. around the left ankle is a silver chain with a teardrop amythest set into it. Other than what was just described, the form is naked and most definately female.

the sword is worthy of a discription all it’s own. it’s about the general size and shape of a ‘modern’ long sword, and glows faintly blue, except in battle when it flames a blue-purple, almost faefire like effect. the cross bar is a standard cross shape, ending in two smallish eggs of the same blueflashing stone. on the hand, which is perfectly shaped for my hand, is a design much like the one on the band and glove. the pommel is a curved spike, and wickedly sharp. It could be easily used to rip out someone’s throat or scalp them. the blade is peuternatually balanced and feels very very familar. etched on the metal, which is the same silvery-black as the rest, are runes and sigils that again, I can’t make out. I don’t know if I’m not ready for them or i’m not allowed to remember them.


remembering 12:42 AM 3/15/00

talked to Ri for a while tonight. worked out some things in my head talking with him. I think the key of fully intregrating this new form is going to be getting a clear image of the sigils and etchings on the armourments of new form. Also, he concures that I am not Fallen, nor am I an angel, but there is a possiblity of some other kind of angelic. He’s going to get me some reasources to see if we can figure this out. He also says that this feels familar to him, which means I’m not utterly fucking nuts.

no matter what, this is going to take a good bit of time to work through, and until I can get this new one intergrated into me, i don’t think i’m going to be able to go back to my fae form.


remembering 11:58 AM 3/21/00

I remembered a little more over the weekend. Not much, though. This battle that I keep seeing is a battle between us, the darkwings, and them, the light (white?) wings. we are all children of the goddess. for some reason, though, the light wings have become corrupted. we’re fighting them because they attacked us and we retailated against what whe thought weren’t pure anymore. Gah, it’s very muddled in my head, and i know it will come clearer in in the future.

i can feel the story of what happened teasing in the back of my mind, and i know it’s close to coming out. soon, i hope. i hate it when my brain itches.


remembering 1:28 PM 6/4/00

(this is what happened a few nights after my last entry. Until now, I haven’t been able to bring myself to write it out. Ri came over and helped me sink into an energy trace and mesh with him (for stablity, I was anything but stable.) This is what I saw that night. I haven’t had a nightmare since then. Referenced below: “Her” is She Who Is, the Mother of all. “HER” is Guen, a demonic current that I had extensive dealings with in this life, and apparently others.)

Darkness, falling in darkness, there’s nothign, i can almost hear wind whistling by my face… then light… brigh flash of light.. i’m flying! I’m flying!!! wings spread wide on the wind… sun on my back, warm and comforting… there’s a bright blue sky.. clouds like puffs of cotton.. trees, like pines, only not… a forest at the base of a cliff… silver-grey stone, and a water fall falling over the clif, tehre’s a rainbow on the air above it… bright light.. around the pool at the base of the waterfall is a village… both sides of the bank.. smoke rising for chimmenies.. I know this is my home… no walls around this village, it’s a place of peace, of refuge, of love. my sword is by my side, like it always is… i understand it now. on one side are the warriors, the black wings, who fight for peace in her name. on the other are the white wings, the healers who heal them when tehy come home from those battles.. and who keep her peace sacred.. and rarely when a white and a black join, the grey wings who are taken into Her service in the temple behind the waterfall. she who is rules us with love and justice. we are Her children who are Her own and no one else’s. but something’s happened, something’s not right, I can feel HER here, and she doesn’t belong. why the hell does she haunt me, even back through time. i have to stop her before this starts, before light and dark fight and before we are corrupted. falling, falling, landing at the base of the cliff, the others are walking up to the temple, to see what has come, the preists have called everyone together.. i can feel HER more strongly, i know have to stop this. stop it now stop it now to keep the dreams from coming true. the dreams were a warning, then and now. there’s two me’s. the me of now that’s known her very reall in this life and the me of then that was this winged angelic warrior.. the two are merging.. i can feel the mesh completing… She is me and me is she… i walk up the path into the temple, there are banners with the symbol of She Who Is there. she’s our mother and we love her. the smell of HER is there, reeking and sour, and i can’t understand why no one else notices it, why only i am upset and angered by it. i walk into the meeeting hall, the sacred place where we all come together, and i can see HER, a cloud of black on the silver stone, behind the high preist, and tainting all the others there that follow him… we’re not human, but we’re mortal and just as prone to mortal failings… i push my way to the front, the red torches are staining the silverstone blood red.. it’s dark and the others are confused, it’s never flet like this here before… She Who is can’t be felt, and Her children are scared… I push my way to the front, anger and fury building in our meshed mind.. the preist starts talking about a better way, and a new future… and how something stronger has come to save us…. and i can hear HER laughing, mocking.. i step up and draw my sword, breaking the Law of she who is, that weapons never be bared in the place where she dwells… and I scream at HER to leave, that she is not welcome and i will not let this happen here… i will not let her corrupt me a second time… and i feel a light filling me and spilling out over my words, blasting away the darkness… SHE fights and claws and i scream, but I fight because this CAN NOT happen. SHE can not do this. and the others run away from me because I shine light that is not my own, HER preist flies at me, but is thrown back by the light… finally SHE fades away, and is gone, i can’t feel HER here anymore…. and I collapse, bloody and bruised… the last thing i remember seeing clearly is the sign of She Who Is.

I came awake, panting and nearly crying, but i didn’t feel so insane anymore. And I was fullying joined with this new aspect. I haven’t gone back since. I rather like my new wings.

How Much is Too Much?: Tolerance, Relativism, and the Slippery Slope

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The Buddhist ideal is the Middle Path. Although I am not a Buddhist myself, I respect and support this approach to reality. I have found that it can be applied to just about every aspect of our lives. When we exist at extremes, we cause trouble for ourselves. This holds true for attitudes and ideals as well as behaviors. Tolerance is a good example. For the most part, we exist in a society that does not practice tolerance nearly enough. The extreme of intolerance is the rule of the day. People are judged upon superficialities like appearance, hairstyle, and what music they listen to, not to mention skin color, gender, orientation, and beliefs. Many of us, as we come from marginalized minorities, have made a concerted effort to move away from intolerance and instead to accept a person for who and what they are – whatever that may be. This is especially true when it comes to tolerance of religious and spiritual diversity. However, all too frequently, in our quest to embrace tolerance of all ideas, practices, and ways of being, we overcompensate for the oppressive intolerance we face every day. With all the best intentions in the world, we swing wildly over to the other extreme and begin accepting every quirk and behavior no matter how outrageous or illogical it may be. This is seen nowhere more clearly than on the Internet. I have a good friend who runs a rather large Pagan-oriented elist. A wise and learned individual, he holds some very heady ideals. Because his own beliefs are little unusual, and have often been judged harshly by others, he upholds the right of each and every individual on his elist to make any kinds of claims about their spiritual experiences, their abilities with magick, and their relationship with spirits and divinities. No matter how ludicrous these claims may sound, no matter how deluded a person clearly may be, my friend will argue at length against anyone daring to question these beliefs on the basis that neither he nor anyone else can truly get inside that person’s head to see exactly what they see. Given this, he argues, there is no way for anyone to make a case that any belief or claim to an experience is invalid. Anything less than this all-embracing attitude of subjective truth is decried as intolerance masquerading in the guise of common sense, logic or rationality.

Staking Wild Claims

I’m not sure how many people have experienced the amazing variety of spiritual claims that one can encounter within the Internet. For me, it gets a little mind-boggling. I have encountered people who in all seriousness have proclaimed that they can cast a spell to allow themselves actual, physical flight. I have had more people than I care to count assure me that they own a copy of the legendary Necronomicon and that it is, indeed, bound in human skin. And that’s to say nothing of the folks who have told me of summoning demons in the flesh, drinking pints of human blood a week, and being the living incarnations of their deity of the week. I’d love to say that this is a phenomenon produced by the medium of the Internet, given how easy it is to masquerade as somebody else from the other end of a screen. However, in the days before the Internet, I had encountered similar claims. As I was dealing with people one-on-one or through limited written correspondence, the wild boasters seemed farther and fewer between. But the blessing and the curse of the Internet is that it puts us in contact with vast numbers of people. In this case, I think the percentage of wild claimants is a constant, but the sheer numbers of the Internet allow them more clearly to be seen. I will say that the Internet does seem to encourage attitudes of uber-tolerance like those of my friend. In the past, I had no trouble telling someone point-blank I thought they were trying to put one over on me. On far too many elists, when I voice such an opinion now, I’m suddenly attacked from five different directions as being judgmental and simply not understanding someone’s “different” point of view. Somehow the voice of reason gets drowned in a morass of political correctness and a misguided crusade to take freedom of speech to the limits of total intellectual anarchy.

The Trap of Relativism

There is a point where tolerance, practiced at the opposite extreme from intolerance, becomes something known as relativism. In relativism, there are no absolutes. Everything is subjective and relative to the experience and choices of the individual. From a relativist standpoint, I cannot argue that red is red because there is no way for me to adequately prove that my version of red is the same “red” being perceived by someone who may in fact perceive that color as blue. Relativism caters to minority thinking in the extreme, careening perilously close to societal fragmentation and the disintegration of the fundamentals of language and communication. According to relativism, the very fact that someone might have a different experience than me makes it impossible for me to assert any experience as valid and true. And here is the trap of relativism. When definition is based upon subjective opinion, how do we determine what is real and what is not? Concepts like “truth” and “reality” lose all significance, because meaning can and does change from person to person, depending on their point of view.

Relativism and Religious Diversity

Superficially, relativism seems like a good idea, especially where spiritual and religious beliefs are concerned. Acknowledging that experiences are subjective and that each person’s interpretations of reality are relative to those subjective experiences is a basic part of accepting a diversity of religious beliefs. Religious experience is exceptionally subjective. My vision of “god” is not a Muslim’s vision of God, and even within a single sect, each person will have their own unique take on the divinity promulgated by that sect. But relativism, taken to its logical extreme, eventually allows someone to declare that “god” is in fact a dog, and no one can argue this claim. Now, before I proceed any further with this argument, let me clarify my own stance on religion and spirituality. I am what I have often described as a Universalist. I believe that there are as many names for Divinity as there are people to speak those names, and even more still. Further, there are as many paths to Divinity as there are people to walk them, and again, even more still. Our experience of “god” and the universe is ours and ours alone, and it cannot help but be subjective, unique, and intensely personal, spoken in our own soul-language. But isn’t this relativism? And with such a tolerant worldview, how can one discern legitimate beliefs from psychological delusions? To quote my good friend and fellow writer, Jason B. Crutchfield, that’s a slippery slope.

Truth Versus Delusion

In an ideal world, tolerance should not be qualified. In such a perfect and ideal world, the acceptance of every person’s different spiritual beliefs, experiences, and practices should be absolute. But we do not exist in an ideal world, and as too many experiences on the Internet have proven, some people are just lying or are deluded about their spiritual experiences. Most of us who have any experience in these matters have the ability to adequately discern a legitimate claim from a delusion or an outright lie. In most cases I’ve encountered, making this distinction is a no-brainer; we usually know on an intuitive level when someone is speaking from the heart about spiritual matters versus when they are shoveling a load of bull. However, if we uphold tolerance of individual beliefs as an absolute, there is no way we can really call these people out on their erroneous claims. There will always be that relativistic out that says, “Your experiences are not my experiences, so how can you know what’s right or wrong to me?” Usually there’s no need to wrestle with these sticky issues of right and wrong in regards to personal beliefs. However, especially on the Internet, I have seen erroneous claims do a lot of damage. When people use the widespread attitude of relativism to essentially claim that god is a dog, a lot of newcomers who have yet to develop adequate judgment get themselves really confused. In some cases, this just sets them back in their studies for a little while, as they have to backtrack from the misinformation and relearn the basics of things. In other cases, it may shatter a person’s faith in everything once they have accepted an erroneous belief and then learned that it was based upon lies or delusions. In the worst case scenario, people are misled into really dangerous territory, as in the Halle-Bopp Comet group who committed mass suicide to join alien saviors in outer space.

The Slippery Slope

I have been wrestling with these issues for many years now. Despite my efforts, I have yet to come up with any hard and fast rules for rating the validity of someone’s claims about magick or spirituality. Common sense is usually helpful, but within the Pagan and magickal communities, we are almost always dealing with uncommon experiences. I myself hold some beliefs that many would perceive as being “out there”, and from a rational-materialist perspective, anyone who believes in magick is “out there”. The best yardstick I have found is not a rigid one. It takes into account the fact that individuals do have radically different experiences and perspectives, and it further takes into account that my interpretation of reality may not be accurate or complete. Going from there, I usually judge a person’s validity based less upon their actual claims and more upon how that person presents those claims over a period of time. Credible people tend to present themselves rationally and consistently over the long run. They frequently lead up to the really wild claims, often qualifying them and acknowledging that you might not believe and are under no obligation to do so. I am far more inclined to believe the apparently delusional claims of someone who tells me, “This is what I believe,” than even the sober and reasonable claims of someone who says, “This is what you should believe.”

The Middle Path

. The very nature of spiritual experience means that much must be taken on faith. Of course in matters of faith, there is rarely an opportunity to provide cold, hard proof. When I do storm magick to end a dry spell, I have no way of proving that I was directly responsible for the ensuing thunderstorm. I just know on a level that often cannot be expressed in words. For someone coming outside of that sense of gnosis, the choice to believe is ultimately up to them – but at no time should a person feel obligated to believe simply out of a misplaced desire to respect my own beliefs. The extreme side of religious tolerance tells us that we cannot disbelieve in anyone’s experiences. The reality is that we should choose what we believe just as we choose which gods and goddesses to follow, or whether we follow any at all. Tolerating other peoples’ rights to their beliefs does not mean that we cannot make informed decisions regarding the validity of those beliefs. The Middle Path of tolerance is when we respect and encourage diversity but respect our own judgment as well.

Reflections on Waking

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At about 1:30 am on the morning of April 18th, 2002, I discovered the Otherkin community. Like most of you, I felt as though I had found something that I had sought all my life. I had all but convinced myself that the sensation of phantom wings was an illusion; and my sense of being different was nothing more than the lingering effect of childhood trauma. (Public school was a singularly unpleasant experience – and a mercifully brief one, for I soon began learning at home.) Then, all of a sudden, I found that I was not alone, and for the first time in my life, I was at peace.

I am writing this article in the wee hours of the morning of April 19th. It will go through one draft, and one draft only, though I may make minor corrections before I send it off. I’m doing this because soon – in a few years, or a few months, or perhaps even a few weeks – I will be even farther along on my journey of self-discovery. I will find my place in this society, and I will forget what it is to be born again into this brave new world. Certainly I will forget the fear that follows the initial euphoria of discovery. I find myself wondering whether I will ever truly find my place; if I will find acceptance in this community; if I am deluding myself after all. These fears will pass, I think, but before they do, I must remind you – and remind my future self, lest I forget – what it’s like, and I must tell you some things that I think you should know.

I suppose I’ll begin with the story of my Awakening. I’ve always been different. I’ve always known, on some level, that I am not quite human. Some sensed this and respected, even adored me for it; others sensed it and despised me. Still others could care less – “normal” people are like that sometimes. When I was a child, I had myself convinced that I was an alien. I created an imaginary world for myself, and I was the queen, and everyone loved me.

(Interesting fact: My mortal form is male. I’ve always felt that I was meant to be female, and sure enough, my true form is. I’m straight both ways, and I don’t mean I’m bisexual. I have no desire for a sex- change operation, and I have no desire to wear women’s clothing in this form. Yes, it’s all very confusing. I’m working on an essay on the subject, and would be glad to hear from other “gender displaced” kin – whether you are, in fact, transgender or something more complex, as I am. I’ll return to the subject at hand now.)

Most importantly – I could go home any time I wished.

Except, as it turned out, I couldn’t, and after a few years in which I sent constant telepathic distress signals and received no reply…I gave up on the “alien” idea.

Time passed. I entered adolescence, and began to use magic. I’d always had a few odd talents – the occasional prophetic dream, and an uncanny sort of intuition, among others – but now my powers grew. In time, I could heal myself at an accelerated rate. I could cloud the minds of others, escaping their notice; I could also puff myself up on a psychic level, and thus appear more formidable than I truly was. I could manipulate coincidence on some level. I was soon quite sure that I was a wizard, and currently I am a practicing neopagan (eclectic Wicca, mainly). During my adolescence, my sense of “otherness” was heightened; I was magical, of course, but it was more than that. I began to feel phantom wings on my back. Occasionally I would feel a symbol burning in my brow. And once in a while, I would BE female – my perspective would shift, and though my flesh was still male, I would feel more feminine than masculine. I denied that last part until recently.

I was a Christian mystic/magician when I began to feel the wings, and the symbol – it took me a while to get onto the pagan path – and I therefore came to the conclusion that I was an angel in mortal form. But I wasn’t entirely convinced; it just didn’t feel right. Eventually I let it drop.

Again, time passed. Eventually Wicca started to fit – I’d tried the path before, but it had never really clicked. I needed to be in the right place at the right time, I suppose. This was the road that would lead me to the Otherkin.

While browsing a pagan site, I came across an article describing the online kin community. I’d put my differences with humanity aside, after a fashion, but as I read the piece in question, they came flooding back. I dropped everything and began to explore this new world at once.

Over the past twenty-four hours, I have been giving this more thought than I ever have before. For the first time in my life, I could admit that I wasn’t human, and that liberated me. I still have much to learn, and much to remember, but I have discovered more than I ever dreamed I would. The name I have taken is Casidhe Adain, and though I cannot say for certain that it is my true name in the strictest sense of the word, I can say that it is an Earth equivalent. I’m fairly certain that I am Elenari, or very closely related to those illustrious elves, through blood or friendship; certainly I am an elf of some kind. I can’t explain the wings – they don’t seem to be very common among elves, but I get the sense that they were an abberation back home. (I’m not quite sure where home is, I’m afraid; I remember bits and pieces, but most of it is still out of focus.) I also seem to have some affinity with the denizens of Faerie, as my name implies on its face. But I digress.

So. I am at least partially Awake, and in the process of discovering myself – a process that will continue for the rest of my mortal existence; I doubt that even the most experienced kin can remember everything about who they were or are. As I say, I will soon be integrated into this community, and I will forget what it was like to be a newcomer; thus, I would like to offer a newcomer’s perspective on certain issues.

First: Many of you are reluctant to tell newcomers what they are. Some of you are reluctant even to suggest what they might be. This is very kind of you, but it is misguided. This community is very diverse, but the fact of the matter is that sometimes an elf is just an elf, a dragon just a dragon. If someone comes to you and describes themselves as something that you know to be an elf, tell them they’re probably an elf. You needn’t force that view upon them, and you won’t, really; if they feel differently, they’ll find their own way sooner or later. I discovered the Elenari soon enough, but gosh, it would’ve been helpful if someone had taken me by the metaphorical shoulders and sent me in that direction. My first post to an Otherkin list was a description of my true form as I perceived it and a question – does this sound familiar? No one really responded except for a fellow newcomer. Maybe they just didn’t know, but I have to wonder if some held their tongues because they were reluctant to “force” an idea upon me. It’s ok, guys. Really. I wanted to get some input.

Second: It’s good to tell newcomers that they should try to tell the difference between memories and fabrications, but tread very carefully. That sort of statement, when phrased improperly, makes us extremely nervous. (Unfortunately, I have yet to see a proper phrasing! This may be an impossible request. My apologies if it is.) We’re already new to this, and I rather suspect that we question our sanity far more often than more experienced kin do. Self-doubt can be very painful during this period.

Third: This is going to contradict my first point, at least on the surface, but…the contradiction is already there. Look, if you really believe that kin are what they believe themselves to be, and others can’t say what they are or are not, then please practice what you preach. Don’t make lists of elven traits or draconic traits or what have you – even if you preface them with “these are just the more common traits; not everyone has them; not everyone has all of them”…look, again, it makes newcomers nervous. As I said, I think I’m Elenari, but some of the descriptions of what Elenari are scared me because I didn’t possess some of the traits described.

Newcomers are delicate flowers. It’s a tired metaphor, on many levels, but it’s true. Nurture them, and they’ll become a valuable part of the community. Force them to make their own way and…well…you’re gambling with our community’s future, in my opinion.

That’s all I can think of for now. I can only hope that other newcomers will take the time to fill the gaps I’ve undoubtedly left. Thank you and blessed be.

Addendum: I would like to apologize if I’ve misunderstood some of the information provided by certain members of the community, or if I’ve offended anyone with this article. I’m only trying to help where and however I think I can.

Questioning Sanity

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I think there’s been some reluctance in the online Sayuneldi (Otherkin) community to point fingers at anyone for being self-deluded, because a) we’re all considered deluded by the average person on the street; b) we’re afraid of scaring off the newer folks on the lists or the ones just Awakening to something real in themselves; and/or c) in times past there had been cases of back-lash when someone dared mention someone might need to do some further self- exploration or seek help. I’m not excusing the reluctance, just trying to give some background. I am all for questioning one’s self; questioning one’s sanity can be fun :). I just think there needs to be a balance between acceptance and well-intentioned, mature questioning.

Sometimes someone says something that sounds utterly ridiculous to me. I’m opinionated enough that sometimes I’ll say something about it. That’s OK. If I say it’s absurd or someone else says it’s gospel, it’s just an opinion. No one is required to believe everything that gets written or said. It’s OK to agree to disagree. Question everything.

I’ve wondered internally about the people who say they are angels. What service are you performing for what god/dess? That is part of my definition of angel. Sometimes it’s seemed that angelics were the next “Otherkin fad”. We’ve had others in the past; elves, weres, vampires, hosts and unicorns have all had turns at being the hot new race of Otherkin, where a bunch of people were discovering they were that race and talking about it all at once. I don’t know that all the angelics are or are not what they think they are, but that’s for them to figure out as individuals. I’m saying it’s OK for me to question, because it doesn’t affect them being what they really are inside, and they are free to disagree with me. We are free to disagree with each other.

Someone had once asked “How can you claim to be ‘X’ and ‘Y’ if both ‘X’ and ‘Y’ are in opposition to each other?” Now, people have mentioned having past lives as opposing things, but that’s different than claiming to be two things that are in opposition. I’ve also been things in past lives that conflict with who I am now, and been a vampire I’m not real proud of in my current incarnation. I don’t call myself an elf-vampire because the two were and are in conflict for me. When I was a vampire it resulted in the elf being completely forgotten. After I died, and my soul had the blinders taken off (as happens sometimes after death), the dissonance between who I had been as a vampire and who I had been as an elf caused so much internal conflict that it caused my soul to split. The personality bits that had been associated with the vampire were flung far and wide.

A variation along those lines: I think there’s a difference between saying I was something in a past life and that I am something. For instance, suppose someone once was a unicorn. How much applicability does that have in the here and now? To my mind, a unicorn is a being that represents Truth, unyielding fierce aggressive Truth. It’s near impossible to be pure anything, much less pure Truth, in this physical realm. It’s the nature of the realm. So while I could see someone saying they had been a unicorn and had some aspects influenced by it, I’ve had a hard time swallowing someone being a unicorn in this life (and that’s a topic that’s near and dear to my heart). Similarly, if I was a rock, a frog, or a stellar dust bunny in a past life, how much of that applies here in this world, in this form, with this mortal consciousness?

An excellent set of questions for anyone is “Are you better off now that you know about your other identity? Has it helped or hindered your life, balance, health and well-being?” For myself, I can say that it’s been a great thing for health, balance, and self-confidence. And ultimately it’s a question we only answer to our own satisfaction.

It can be fun to question your sanity, to explore yourself, your entire world, to experiment and grow. I speak from experience. Having the carpet of my reality yanked from under my feet got much more fun after I realized that I didn’t have to fall and flail – I could fly….

The Otherkin Problem

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What’s wrong with the otherkin community?

  1. Its not about discovery anymore. Maybe people feel that they have “discovered everything” and nothing is new.
  2. There’s a gap between the “elders” and the newbies that is a million miles wide. If someone just awakened, they come looking for answers, and what happens? People tell them. It used to be even the newbies were able to discover themselves among the rest of us, though now it seems there is no time for that. Or maybe it is tedious, since its all been done before. We still have much to learn, but the newness has worn off for most of us. Been awake too long?
  3. Its not about life anymore. Its about pastlives. Or about pastlife memories. Or about current popularity. I remember when I needed the other darkfae around me for stability and functionality, and that was a focus of the group, among other things. We worked to get ourselves balanced in our new identities, so we could function in this life! Ya, we whined about “going home” just as much as the next person, but that’s wasn’t where we stopped. It was about this life, today, right now! It was about blending our aspects into a smooth whole that was able to walk around in daily life, do daily functions, and succeed while retaining our otherkin selves. It was about life.
  4. Being otherkin has never made me feel superiour to others, but aparently a lot of people feel this way. How many of these new otherkin people really are otherkin, and not just lost confused people who don’t know and are grabbing at what’s shiney and gonna make them feel better? I am not saying in any way that people are not what they say, I’m just saying the reasons for calling oneself otherkin are getting skewed. In my way of thinking, being darkfae inside puts me not only on a lower level as full humans (since its their world) but puts me at a disadvantage. I would not make myself darkfae, if I’d had the choice. Then again, I am what I am *shrugs* I know what I am. How many people can say that, in our community, and not feel a nag of doubt? How many are just here (in the community) because it is the popular thing to be, its the newest way to be a freak, or because it seems so wonderful and so special? How many really just plain don’t know, and just choose the label because its the easy way out?

I am not accusing anyone of anything at all, I am just accusing the patterns people have set themselves in. Its time we took a good hard look at ourselves, and ask ourselves exactly what we gain from calling ourselves by the labels we chose? I will rethink it myself, maybe I’ll come up with different answers than the last time. The point is, everyone needs to think, and not just grab at something. And I know there are bound to be many who do, whether that something be what they are told, or what is given to them. Its not personal truth if it comes from someone else.

A Prepaved Path?

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As the community for those who feel they are not entirely human by nature grows, we see more cultural awareness and acceptance grow as well. Information and concepts that only a few years ago were virtually non-existent are now readily available. This fact has many positive and negative aspects.

From the positive side: With information more readily available, those who are searching for answers to their questions can find help much more quickly. With more people growing aware and accepting, those in the community no longer need to feel as outcast as they once might have.

From the negative side: With information more readily available, those who are searching for answers to their questions, no longer need to do as much research and find for themselves what may be their truth. With awareness of the community on the rise, those who are struggling in their own lives may feel a need to turn to a community for a sense of acceptance.

Those who once sought out and researched information, with only the longing of their spirit to guide them, now may find themselves torn between the desire to share and help those who may truly need what information they can provide, and the understanding that sometimes it is the difficulty that proves the spirit. Information that is too easy to acquire, may also be too easy to dismiss. While one who continues to search, simply because they feel a strong need to find themselves, will never forget who they truly are.

By simple fact of the nature of believing one’s self to be other than completely human, open-mindedness can be one of the backbones of the community. However, expecting one to take something at face value is not productive and potentially harmful. As with anything that is beyond general society’s views of normal, those who feel uncomfortable or think they don’t fit into most people’s preconceived notions of normal, will find themselves drawn to a community where they hope to find acceptance and validation. Far too often they may use the open-mindedness and acceptance of a community to avoid confronting issues within themselves.

While public awareness and acceptance of alternate beliefs is vital to developing a tolerant society, it is just as important to recognize that external validation should never be a replacement for understanding who and what you truly are.

The Power of The Gift

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There is a reason (and often several reasons) why we often feel like we don’t fit into this society of modern mankind, and thus consider ourselves, and are considered by others, to be “not normal.” Much of it stems from a deeply rooted incompatibility on the philosophic underpinnings of modern human economic theory, which has little if anything to do with the truly magical nature of the spiritual beings we all know ourselves to be.

Bear with me as I expound on a little philosophizing here, please.

Most early non-western societies did not work on anything resembling a market economy. The idea that everything began with a barter system is, quite probably, untrue,… but there are very few who are even willing to examine the basis of the origins of this human economy that is now called the “market”. To fully understand where I am coming from, it helps if you start thinking a lot more seriously about what this “market” actually is, where it came from, and what a viable alternative to it might actually be like.

The universal assumption of free market enthusiasts, in the past as now, was that what essentially drives human beings is a desire to maximize their pleasures, comforts and material possessions (their “utility”), and that all significant human interactions can thus be analyzed in market terms. In the beginning, goes the official version, there was barter. People were forced to get what they wanted by directly trading one thing for another. Since this was inconvenient, they eventually invented money as a universal medium of exchange. The invention of further technologies of exchange (credit, banking, stock exchanges) was simply a logical extension.

The problem is, is that there is no reason to believe that a society based on barter has ever actually existed. Instead, what anthropologists studying primitive cultures have discovered is that there were societies where economic life was based on utterly different principles, and most objects moved back and forth as gifts – and almost everything we would call “economic” behavior was based on pure generosity (or a pretense of it) and a staunch **refusal** to calculate exactly who had given what to whom.

Such “gift economies” could on occasion become highly competitive, but when they did, it was in exactly the opposite way from our own modern westernized way; instead of vying to see who could accumulate the most, the winners were the ones who managed to give the most away. In some notorious cases, such as the Kwakiutl of British Columbia (or really, almost any tribe of northwestern native americans), this could lead to dramatic contests of liberality (the potlatch), where ambitious chiefs would try to outdo one another by distributing thousands of silver bracelets, Hudson Bay blankets or Singer sewing machines, and even by destroying wealth – sinking famous heirlooms in the ocean, or setting huge piles of wealth on fire and daring their rivals to do the same. The ancient Celts had similar practices, and indeed, if you are interested in studying this phenomenon, I have little doubt you would find that, rather than it being a rare thing, it was a fairly common practice.

All of this may seem very exotic. But how alien is it, really? Is there not something odd about the very idea of gift-giving, even in our own modern society? Why is it that, when one receives a gift from a friend (a drink, a dinner invitation, a compliment), one feels somehow obliged to reciprocate in kind? Why is it that a recipient of generosity often somehow feels reduced if he or she cannot reciprocate? Are these not examples of universal feelings, which are somehow discounted in modern society – but in others were actually –>the very basis

In gift economies, exchanges do not have the impersonal qualities of the capitalist marketplace; in fact, even when objects of great value change hands, what really matters is the relations between the people; the exchange is about creating friendships, or working out rivalries, or obligations, and only incidentally about moving around valuable goods. As a result, everything becomes personally charged, even property; in gift economies, the most famous objects of wealth – heirloom necklaces, weapons, feather cloaks – always seem to develop personalities of their own.

In a market economy it’s exactly the other way around. Transactions are seen simply as ways of getting one’s hands on useful things; the personal qualities of buyer and seller should ideally be completely irrelevant. As a consequence everything, even people, start being treated as if they were things too. (Consider in this light the expression “goods and services.”)

Ancient Rome still preserved something of the older ideal of aristocratic open-handedness; Roman magnates built public gardens and monuments, and vied to sponsor the most magnificent games. But Roman generosity was also quite obviously meant to wound; one favorite habit was scattering gold and jewels before the masses to watch them tussle in the mud to scoop them up. Early Christians, for obvious reasons, developed their notion of charity in direct reaction to such obnoxious practices. True charity was not based on any desire to establish superiority, or favor, or indeed any egoistic motive whatsoever. To the degree that the giver could be said to have gotten anything out of the deal, it wasn’t a real gift.

But this in turn led to endless problems, since it was very difficult to conceive of a gift that did not benefit the giver in any way. Even an entirely selfless act would win one points with the Christian God. Therein began the habit of searching every single act for the degree to which it could be said to mask some hidden selfishness, and then began the mistake in assuming that this selfishness is what’s really important.

One sees the same move reproduced so consistently in modern social theory. Economists and Christian theologians agree that if one takes pleasure in an act of generosity, it is somehow less generous. They just disagree on the moral implications. To counteract this very perverse logic, it is necessary to emphasize the “pleasure” and “joy” of giving; in traditional societies, there was not assumed to be any contradiction between what we would call self-interest (a phrase that could not even be translated into most human languages) and concern for others; the whole point of the traditional gift is that it furthers both at the same time.

Many humans, however, fail to grasp this very simple concept. This is part of what sets the Elfin/Fae apart from the humans. This is why we feel that we are not normal, because of course, if normal is defined as being of the same economic mindset as humans, then, indeed, we are not normal. On the other hand, since their societal economy is based on something that is not true, and has been perverted through the ages by the logic of economists and theologians,… perhaps it is not us that is not normal… perhaps it is them.

Physically Human?

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I believe that the Otherkin body ticks a little differently on the whole, even when there is no genetic trace. I think that harbouring a non-human soul will have some effect on the body in the same way that ones’ state of mind affects the body too. For instance, the reason why stress makes people sick, and why energy healing such as reiki works, is because of the effect of non-physical occurrences on the physical body.

I used to think that everyone was really Otherkin underneath, it was just that most people hadn’t seen it. I still think that to some extent. I am constantly boggled by the number of times I meet otherkin IRL. I am fairly open about my ‘kin-ness among my friends, and the most common reaction I get is not “You’re crazy”. It’s “Oh. I’m one of those too!” If this is a typical sample, then there are a heck of a lot of otherkin on Earth. It makes sense. If the population is growing, and we are reincarnating, there is an increasig need for more and more souls. They have to come from somewhere; it makes sense that they come from people who are not human, maybe even not from Earth. I still think though, that there are people who are human through and through.

I also believe that humans in general are overlooking their potential, and that Otherkin represents just one way out of many to reach that potential.

So am I human? Physically, I assume so. My parents are human, as are their parents. There may be some trace of “fae” ancestry from long ago, from back in the days when fae walked the earth and mingled with humans. It would explain some of the odd physical things about me. But on the whole I fall within human “norms”.

Even otherkin who are kin-by-reincarnation seem to show odd traits; there are two schools of thought here. Either as already suggested, the presence of a non-human soul in the body will cause alteration of the body. Or else that the non-human soul chooses to reincarnate in a body that is “compatible”, and that maybe the most compatible bodies are ones that already carry a little of the old Fae (or whatever) blood.

Yet I do not consider myself to be human. I cannot relate to them. I am still an elf. I am not was. My body is not me. It is not us. It is merely the shell we wear at this time. It is the house that we live in. There are a few others sharing the body who claim to be human in soul, others who claim elven or angelic or sidhe.

I’m not one of those human-hating otherkin, and I don’t go in for human-bashing (except perhaps occasionally in jest). I don’t hate humans, but I do feel sad for them sometimes. So many of them are missing so much that is wonderful.