[Written by Tiernan and Robin. Taken from the TNO archives, Issue #1, October 1995. ]
- Are people spooked when you walked up behind them and they never heard you coming?
- You are always the first one to hear something in the distance (ie: aproaching car, person, storm…)
- You can smell a troll for miles and miles and miles…
- You couldn’t care less about gun control as long as they don’t outlaw bows.
- You think “Lord what fools these mortals be” should be in Bartletts Quotes.
- You are frequently offered ‘Santa’s Helper’ jobs at Christmas without an interview.
- Your best friends are nymphs, pixies, and fairies.
- You think trees are a great place to live, and holes in the ground are for worms and hobbits.
- Your friends cat, who hates EVERYONE including your friend, loves you.
- You HATE ear jokes
- You catch yourself referring to David Bowie as ‘cousin’
- The only iron you care to work with is the one that takes the wrinkles out of your clothes.
- You can smell what kind of mood the people around you are in.
- You HATE plastic.
- You LOVE mushrooms.
- You can be spun around at night with a blindfold on and you stop spinning pointing to true North every time.
- You find yourself arguing that Vulcans and Romulans are your long lost cousins with a Trek fan.
- Almost no-one understands your sense of humor
- Trolls stress you out.
- You have pet dragons.
- You would rather listen to bird songs than the radio.
- You can sleep on the floor, ground or a wood waterbed, but not a metal frame bed.
- Orcs are the cousins you don’t talk about.
- You have a fascination with edged weapons.
- Most of your clothing has ties and laces instead of buttons and zippers.