The Very Model of an Elven Individual

MIAREN:
I am the very model of an Elven Individual,
I’ve information memorable, magical, and mythical,
I know the kings of Faerie, and I quote the tales bardic-wise
Of Thomas Rhymer, Taliesin, Tam Lin and some otherwise;
I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters of Awakening,
I understand Rememb’rings, both the quiet and the quakening,
On matters of linguistics I am teeming with a lot o’ news,
With many cheerful facts about what spelling of “des’tai” to use.

ALL:
With many cheerful facts about what spelling of “des’tai” to use..
With many cheerful facts about what spelling of “deshtai” to use.
With many cheerful facts about what spelling of “desh’tai” to use.

MIAREN:
I’m very good at keeping track of lifetimes that are serial;
I know the True Forms and the names of beings nigh ethereal:
In short, in matters memorable, magical, and mythical,
I am the very model of an Elven Individual.

ALL:
In short, in matters memorable, magical, and mythical,
She is the very model of an Elven Individual.

MIAREN:
I know our mythic histories, the true ones and the fictional
And even on occasion write a new one that’s original
I filk in constant counterpoint the doings of Rialian,
At times this has necessitated large amounts of Valium

I can tell undoubted elven-types from satyrs and from angelforms,
I know the common hideaways of fairy folk and unicorns.
Then I can draw an elven star inscribed inside a heptagon,
And improvise from tales in that dreaded Mabinogion.

ALL:
And improvise from tales in that dreaded Mabinogion.
And improvise from tales in that dreaded Mabinogion.
And improvise from tales in that dreaded Mabinogion.

MIAREN:
Then I can write a courtly speech in “Elenari politic,”
And tell you ev’ry detail of the Gate creators’ travel ships:
In short, in matters memorable, magical, and mythical,
I am the very model of an Elven Individual.

ALL:
In short, in matters memorable, magical, and mythical,
She is the very model of an Elven Individual.

MIAREN:
In fact, when I can trace in full Tuatha geneaology,
When I can theorize about draconical biology,
When such affairs as Alardans and Gathers I will travel to,
And when I know precisely what the politics unravel to,
When I have learnt what languages the Elenari babble in,
When I know more of Camelot than Guenivere’s best chatelaine–
In short, when I’ve a smattering of nigh to useless trivia,
You’ll see an Elven Individual who’s just been ribbin’ ya.

ALL:
You’ll see an Elven Individual who’s just been ribbin’ ya.
You’ll see an Elven Individual who’s just been ribbin’ ya.
You’ll see an Elven Individual who’s just been ribbin’ ya.

MIAREN:
For my otherworldly knowledge, though I’ve hardly scratched its minimum,
Is only manifesting at the start of the milennium;
But still, in matters memorable, magical, and mythical,
I am the very model of an Elven Individual.

ALL:
But still, in matters memorable, magical, and mythical,
She is the very model of an Elven Individual.

Based on “I am the very model of a modern Major-General” from “The Pirates of Penzance” by Gilbert and Sullivan.

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