The Real Elf Shady

(With Apologies to Eminem and blame to Rialian. Don’t kill me Kyrin!)

May I have your mead cup please?
May I have your mead cup please?
Will the real Elf Shady please get drunk
I repeat, will the Real Elf Shady please get drunk?
I think we’re gonna have some entertainment here…

Ya’ll act like you ain’t never seen a toxic elf before
Laughing all on the floor like Cel, Like Esh just ran through the woods,
chasing each each like every year before, shakin ass on the way to the showers
It’s the return of the.. “Dude, wait, gimme more..”

He just drank what I think he did, did he?
Then Rialian said abandon all H.O.P.E
Rialian’s pet cliche, almost printed on cards
Elven women love the toxic one
“Toxic elf, I worship him, look at him, walking around
talking about who knows what, drinking who knows what,
cursing at gods know who…”
“Yeah, but he’s so loud though”
Yeah well, he the first thing you hear in the morning
And the probably the last thing you hear at night
Sometimes, he’s all you can hear in the camp,
Sitting by the fire with a fork of doom
“Did I get that drunk, did I get that drunk”

And if we’re lucky, we’ll get to see it again
And there’s a message behind all this scarasim
But we just aint’ figured out quite what it is

So of course we laugh it up and drink by the fire
by the time midnight rolls around
we’re all gonna be staggering about
“We ain’t nothing but elves and others” well, one if us is
Louder and harder than all the rest
But he’s one of us so we put up with him and tehre’s no reason for him not to leave when
We all sometimes feel like he feels
Everyone grab your cup, sing the chorus and it goes

(Chorus, x2)
I’m Elf Shady, yes the real Shady
All you other Elf Shadys are just imitating
So won’t the Real Elf Shady please get drunk, please get drunk, please get drunk.

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