Werefolk are as diverse a group as can be found anywhere on the Internet. In essence, all weres can shapeshift, but many are limited to their single animal, their phenotype. This phenotype can be of any type, from that of a wolf (very common) to a bird (not-so-common) to a dragon (subject of much discussion).

Generally, weres realize what they are in their teens and twenties. They usually have known that they were different long before that time, and many have shown their uniqueness by howling, growling, and otherwise picking up traits of their animals.

I don't personally consider humans with totem animals to be weres. There is a distinct line, in my mind, between having an animal that comes to you in your dreams or gives you advice and guides you, and being that animal in your soul.

The most basic requirement of being a were is usually the ability to shapeshift, or otherwise become more/less your animal. There are several 'accepted' ways to shapeshift, though more are always appearing through personal account.

Physical shifting is often described as impossible. There is no documented proof of any were changing their physical form (besides hopping into a fursuit) and most first hand accounts are dismissed as fantasy fiction.

Mental shifting describes the basic change that happens when the were's mindset goes from human to animal. This can be as subtle as the phenotype surfacing in the were's mind, or it can be so overwhelming it overrides human responses. Most weres can, with practice, gain full control over their shifting.

Astral and Aural shifting are less common. They involve shifting your aura or astral appearance into that of your phenotype. While both of these methods are possible to learn, I haven't quite caught onto either. Where an ability to m-shift seems to be an almost always required prerequisite to calling yourself a were, the a-shiftings are just bonuses.

While most weres can shift, many don't recognize a difference between their everyday, 'normal' state and their animal state. These weres are usually animals born into human bodies, born into the wrong body and now forced to live out their lives as a human. Many of these weres have past life memories of being their animal.

I don't personally consider humans with totems to be weres. A were needs to be either able to shapeshift to their animal, or already be their animal all the time. Being a were is often described as very spiritual. Weres will usually have some sort of way to thank their animal, or to give it a treat.

Ways to do this range from just letting the bear in you come forward and enjoy that meat pie with you to simple rituals in your own home, from writing stories or doing art for your animal to running naked in the forest.